


I Feel the Gravity

by LadyofHeart



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Modern AU, More tags to be added, Multi, be warned this is stupidly dramatic, soap opera levels of dramatic, sora rox ven and van are all brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-11-05 13:58:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 67,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17920133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofHeart/pseuds/LadyofHeart
Summary: Modern AU where Ventus, Vanitas, Sora and Roxas are all brothers and, because nothing can go right for these kids no matter what AU they're in, lots of drama occurs that includes but is not limited to 1) Ven ending up in a coma 2) Vanitas ending up in a gang 3) Roxas ending up being more edgy than his canon counterpart somehow.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm super excited for this and I'm hoping its the first multi chapter I actually finish. Age reference - Ven is the eldest, Vanitas is one year younger than him, Sora is four years younger than him and Roxas is five years younger than him. This fic covers their story over a large gap of time but I did my best to include them in text when I could. General warnings for violence throughout the entire fic, and it gets kinda dark.

Ventus isn’t fussy as a baby. He’s the first one born, and so his mother and father worry over him the most, but he’s as sweet as morning dew and as gentle as a summer breeze. He’s small, a bit sensitive, but by all accounts an absolute angel. His mother relishes in the fact that he has none of her nervousness so far. His big blue eyes are so inquisitive and his tiny, precious hands reach for everything without fear. 

Vanitas is born a year later with none of Ventus’ good graces and all of his father’s attitude. He’s a demanding force for something so tiny. He knows how to use his little, shrill voice to get the attention and love he wants. Not that his parents mind smothering him with kisses or pinching his little cheeks, but when he goes off, he goes /off/, and it always riles little Ven up, too. The two of them are crazy in sync with sleeping, eating, crying for no reason, almost anything. 

Ventus is four and Vanitas is three when Sora is born. Ventus watches his new little brother with big eyes and wonder. He plays with him and pokes at the soft little hairs growing atop his hair, curious if they’ll come out blond or black. He’ll soon discover it’s neither, but he’ll love him all the same. Vanitas is a bit more fickle about this new brother. Unless Ventus is looking at Sora, he’ll take no interest in him.

That attitude doesn’t change when a year later, Roxas joins the family. Roxas is almost as much of an attention seeker as Vanitas was at his age, but Ventus has taken up the roll of showering his baby brothers with affection. That includes Vanitas, when he’s not being antagonized by him. Their mother knows Vanitas isn’t a problem child, just high energy, and no matter what they’re playing Ventus seems to love him all the same regardless.

The house is small for all six of them, but their dad works hard and more than that, he works for his wife and kids. He loves them so much. Vanitas’ funny little scowl when he’s frustrated, Roxas’ moody behavior for a one year old. Ventus, who has started demanding everyone calls him Ven, has promoted himself to ringleader of his brothers, based more on his cheery personality than his age.

Sora’s an eager follower. He parrots a lot of what Ven says as they got older and even though they looked pretty different they share that same, beaming smile. They all share a room, too, for necessity. So even if Sora acts all tough during the day, there comes a night when Ven can comfort him.

It’s the night before the first day of school for Sora, of course. He was all nervous, staying up into the night.

“Stop sniveling, Sora,” Vanitas grumbled, turning over in his top bunk bed. Ven slept in the bottom one usually, but he had crawled over to Sora’s side. He shared his bed with Roxas because they’re too young for bunk beds, but Roxas was sleeping soundly through his complaining. 

“M’not sniveling,” Sora said. Ven sat at the edge of their bed.

“It’s okay,” he said. “School really isn’t that scary. You’ll be home with the rest of us soon.”

“Why can’t I just go to school with you and Vani? Why can’t Roxas come with me? Why do I gotta go alone? I don’t want to!”

Ven rubbed his back in hopes of lulling him to sleep. If he did wake Roxas, it would be annoying to get them both to fall back asleep. “Vani and I have a lot of hard work in our grades. Don’t you want to make new friends?”

“No!”

“Shut up,” Vanitas groaned. 

Roxas made little muttering sounds and turned over in his sleep. Sora sighed. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“Friends aren’t so scary,” Ven said. “I’ve made a few. Do you wanna hear about them?”

Sora scratched his nose and cuddled closer. “Okay.”

“Well, there’s Ephemer. We met on the first day of school, actually. He’s really nice and smart.”

“What’s he look like?”

“Curly white hair, really likes this red scarf his mom made for him.”

“White hair? Is he old?”

Ven snorted. “No, it’s natural. There’s Skuld too, she’s kind. And Brain. He’s kind of… well he’s weird, but I like him anyway. Oh, and Lauriam. He has a little sibling, too.”

“A little brother?”

“A sister.”

“Oh.”

“But see? They’re all really cool and they’re just like us. You’re gonna meet a bunch of kids like that at school tomorrow. You might make lifelong friendships! You have nothing to worry about.”

Sora frowned, but he looked less upset. “I don’t know…”

“If you really hate it, you only have to be there for a few hours. And we’ll be right at home waiting for you. Okay?”

“Okay.” Sora gave Ven a tight hug before crawling back under the covers and letting him tuck him in the way he had always seen his parents do. 

When he walked back to his bed Vanitas was staring down over the edge at him, his golden eyes catching the dim glow of the night light.

“What?” Ven asked.

“Was I ever this mopey before the first day of school?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Hmm. Alright.” Vanitas crawled back from the edge and into the shadows like some little creature. Ven shrugged and tucked himself into his own bottom bunk, drifting off into sleep.

Ven wasn’t surprised that the next day Sora was grinning from ear to ear, talking about the kids he met. A Riku and a Kairi, it seemed. It was like the fears of last night never existed and he kept going on and on about how he couldn’t wait to see them tomorrow. Sora was definitely the most chatty of them all.

Vanitas didn’t have the same ability to instantly calm his brothers, but he was very good at entertainment. Whether that entertainment was for himself or for them varied. When he was eight and Sora was five, leaving Roxas at four and Ven at nine, he decided to tell them a scary story the night of Halloween.

He always liked to leer over the edge of his top bunk when he talked to everyone, probably aware of how the shadows clung to him up there and how the eerie glow of the night light caught his face. Roxas and Sora were still sharing their bed across the small room, the blanket lifted high to their chins as Vanitas went on about monsters prowling the night.

Even Ven seemed a little spooked, but he didn’t say anything. Best not to let him know. 

“Come on, Vani,” Ven said as the story dragged on. “They’ll never sleep now.”

“Will too!” said Roxas. He didn’t sound confident.

“I’m just warning them that if they stay out too late there are consequences. There are all sorts of monsters on Halloween night.”

“I hate monsters,” Sora muttered.

“You know,” Vanitas said. “I can keep them away all Halloween if you give me half your candy.”

“Vanitas! Leave them alone,” Ven said, still trying to fall asleep himself. 

“What? I’m just saying, the monsters got nothing on /me/. And I come at a price.”

Ven rolled his eyes. He was all bark and no bite. He wouldn’t hold the younger two to it tomorrow, and if he did, their mother would put her foot down. 

There was nothing the four of them didn’t do together. That Halloween they had coordinated their outfits to be from a show they all watched, and during Christmas they scraped together their lunch money to buy their parents a gift. Even though they made separate friends (except for Vanitas, who still really hadn’t grasped how not to be a little shit to the kids in his grade) they all spent the most time around each other.

Good things don’t last forever.

 

 

Vanitas woke up groggy as ever. He hated mornings, especially Saturday mornings, because while every other kid got to sleep in after a boring week of school, him and Ven had to wake up early to go to piano lessons. He /hated/ the piano, but his mother insisted that it would be a good skill to have if they weren’t interested in sports. He actually liked the idea of sports more, but not the ‘team spirit’ bit, so the isolation of piano was her way of reaching a middle ground. Only Ven really tried to get better during their lessons. He was trying to be some child prodigy or something, even though he was twelve so he was well passed that point.

He rubbed sleep from his eyes and peered over the edge of his top bunk to see Ven was still curled up in sleep, his ridiculous amount of pillows and blankets cocooning him in warmth. He could say he liked these piano lessons all he wanted. He was still impossible to wake up in the morning when it came to going to them.

Vanitas crawled down the ladder and grabbed a stuffed animal off of Sora’s bed. Him and Roxas were gone at a sleepover that their mother should be picking them up from soon. Which meant their dad had to drive them to these stupid lessons. 

He threw the animal at Ven’s head, not surprised that it garnered no reaction despite being thrown with perfect aim. Well, Ven could get in trouble for being late. He didn’t care. He changed out of his pajamas and threw open the blinds to let the sunlight in as one last, vain attempt to wake his brother. 

Vanitas was already done eating breakfast by the time Ven had rolled out of bed with a blanket around his shoulders and his hair a mess. He sat down across from him, blinking through his sleepiness.

Vanitas slid over the bowl of cereal he had prepared for him, not looking up from the iPad he was messing around with.

“Thanks,” Ven muttered, spooning the little sugary bits into his mouth.

Their dad paused in walking past them. “Did you just wake up, Ven?”

“Of course he did,” said Vanitas.

“Thought you were gonna start waking up earlier,” their dad said.

“I will,” Ven said, his first words of the day. “Next Saturday.”

Vanitas snorted. “Not likely.”

“Yeah, okay, fair.”

Their dad shook his head. “Just hurry up. We’re running late as it is.”

It started snowing when they left the house. Vanitas tried to get the front seat per usual, but there was always the matter that he was too short and just a year under the legal age for sitting there, so he grumpily took his spot in the back behind Ventus.

Ven had his face pressed to the window as they drove by. “I hope the snow sticks,” he said. “And stays here for Christmas.”

Vanitas crossed his arms. “I hope it cancels school for Monday. And Tuesday.”

“And Wednesday!”

“Please no,” said their dad. “All four of you at home? I’d never get any work done.”

“We could help you!” Ven offered.

He smiled. “I’d appreciate that.”

“But only if you pay us,” Vanitas tacked on.

“Maybe not, then.”

The snow wasn’t terribly heavy or dense, but the roads were slippery. Their dad drove cautiously, chiming in at random points in his sons’ conversation, and really, none of it was his fault. He couldn’t control the way everyone was driving.

One moment, Vanitas was talking with his brother. The next, bright headlights flooded his vision and he was jolted forward as another car crashed into theirs.

 

 

Their mother was late. Sora hadn’t noticed because he was too busy playing with Riku, but Roxas did. He hadn’t liked the sleepover (though he wouldn’t say anything because he was a guest and guests had to be nice) and had been waiting by the window for her familiar car to pull in. Riku’s mom was nice at least, even if Riku himself was kind of annoying. She even sat with him to wait for their mom.

He glanced at her. “Is it because of the snow?” he asked.

She smiled. Her eyes were green like Riku’s. “It might be. She said she was coming as fast as she can, but there’s a lot of traffic.”

Sora popped his head into the living room. “Roxas, come play with us!” Riku was hovering over his shoulder.

“Not in the mood,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Is everything okay?” Riku’s mom asked as the other two left with a shrug.

He watched the big snowflakes fall outside. “She should be here by now.”

“I’m sure she-” Her phone went off then with a soft jingle. “See, that’s her calling me right now.” She pressed the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

The voice on the other end sounded loud and panicked. Roxas’ eyes widened as she got up and left the room for a moment, sparing him a pained smile. He wanted to follow after her, but that would be rude, wouldn’t it? When she didn’t come back right away he decided to go find Riku and Sora, his boredom getting the best of him.

They were in Riku’s room and Sora had a small blanket tied around his neck in a makeshift cape. He was holding one of Riku’s toy foam swords in his hand and standing on his bed, shouting something about saving a princess.

“Hey Roxas,” Riku said from where he sat on the floor staring up at Sora. 

Sora turned his head to his brother. “Oh hey! Do you wanna -- are you okay?”

Roxas blinked at him. “I’m fine.”

His smile turned into a pout. Sora was unusually good at picking up on the smallest bit of disturbance when it came to his brothers. He was a little more oblivious with friends. 

“You sure?” Sora pressed.

“Yeah. Just wanna go home.”

Riku frowned. “Isn’t your mom coming?”

“She’s on a call with your mom right now.”

“Oh.”

“Well, I don’t wanna leave yet,” Sora said. “We’re having fun. Join us, Roxas!”

Before he could answer Riku’s mom returned, looking crestfallen and stiff. “Riku sweetie,” she said. “Could you excuse Sora, Roxas and I for a minute? And put on your winter coat, we’ll be going out.”

He exchanged a worry look with Sora before walking off to do as he was told. Sora hopped off of Riku’s bed and took his blanket off. 

“Is our mom here?” he asked.

She sat down on Riku’s bed with a sigh, patting the space next to her so Roxas and Sora followed suit. “Your mother called me,” she began slowly. “It seems there was an… accident, while your father was driving your brothers somewhere. She went to see them at the hospital now and wants me to take you.”

“An accident?” Sora repeated.

“Are they okay?” Roxas asked. He had just been talking with Ven and Vanitas last night. Surely they were fine. Surely.

“I’m not sure, sweetie.”

It’s the wrong answer. Roxas’ eyes went wide as his mind ran through different ideas. An accident, a hospital, someone being hurt. Hospitals aren’t for healthy people. Just an accident? Was there something more?

Sora grabbed his arm but he wasn’t looking at him. “Can we go now? Can we go see them?”

“Of course, of course.” She tried to smile but it was weak and it scared Roxas even more. He was quick to put his coat and his boots on, joining Sora and Riku in the back seat of her car. Sora was squished between the two of them. He was quiet, with just his legs kicking back and forth. Riku stayed quiet too, hazarding a glance at his friend every once and awhile. Roxas was glad he wasn’t speaking; he was starting to feel nauseous and he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear conversation.

He rested his head against Sora’s shoulder, feeling oddly touchy. An accident. What kind of accident? The more he thought about it the more his stomach began to hurt. He clutched it in discomfort.

“Are you okay?” Sora asked.

Roxas hung his head. “My stomach hurts.” The car was going too slow for it to be motion sickness. It was like his thoughts made him ill. The last thing he wanted to do was start crying in front of Riku and his mom but it was a horrible and uncomfortable feeling.

“Do you want me to stop?” Riku’s mom asked, glancing at them through the mirror. He shook his head even though he was nearly doubled over now. Sora rubbed his back and held him close but it didn’t help. His mind couldn’t stop working six paces ahead of him.

The hospital wasn’t far, but most everything after the car ride was a blur for Roxas. He remembered the pale walls and the antiseptic scent in the air. The people. Holding Sora’s hand as they walked past doctors to find their parents and their brothers. Distantly, there was crying, but Roxas didn’t know who it was yet.

They found Vanitas first. Roxas nearly burst into tears seeing that he was basically fine other than being in a hospital and having an oddly blank face. Sora let go of his hand to run to his side.

He rattled off his questions. “Vanitas! We heard there was an accident? Are you okay? Where’s Ven? Where’s Mom and Dad? What happened?”

Roxas was slower to approach, his fragile sense of relief shattered. “Vanitas?” He asked quietly.

Vanitas finally looked at them, really looked at them, and his golden eyes flooded with tears. Roxas started to cry too, because /what/ was going on, and what could have made Vanitas cry?

“Dad and Ven…” he began, his voice cracking. “They’re -- I-I can’t…”

There was footsteps behind them and they turned to see their mother standing there, her face red and streaked with tears. Riku and his mother had politely chosen to wait in the waiting room, leaving the four of them alone.

Their mother quickly wrapped up Roxas and Sora in a tight hug, her sobs barely stifled as she held the two of them close. They were all crying at this point, even though Roxas and Sora still weren’t sure what was happening.

Finally, she managed a moment to contain herself. She could barely look them in the eyes. “Roxas, Sora… the accident. T-there was an accident. Your father didn’t -- he isn’t coming home.”

Roxas felt his world shatter. Not coming home? Not being with them for dinner? Not being there to pick them up from after school activities? Not /ever/ coming home? He wasn’t sure it was possible to cry any harder but that pit in his stomach persisted and tears just kept rolling.

“Ven-” Their mother practically choked on his name.

It was Vanitas who spoke up, his voice leveling off. “Ven’s in a-a coma. He’s asleep.”

“Asleep?” Sora nearly screeched. He was as hysterical as his mother.

“We didn’t see the car coming,” Vanitas continued. “We-we couldn’t have--”

“Where’s Ven?” Roxas sniffed. “I want to see him!”

When he did see Ven he regretted his words. He didn’t want to see him like this, all bruised up and bandaged, attached to a million machines that beeped and glowed, all hanging onto Ven’s life for him. What was worse was how peaceful Ven looked, like he was really sleeping. Ven /loved/ sleeping, but even he couldn’t have managed to sleep through all the crying and screaming from his family around him.

This was wrong. This wasn’t fair. He had to wake up. Just yesterday they were all laughing around dinner and everything was fine! How could it all be so wrong so quickly today? Ven had to wake up. He just had to.

But Roxas had a terrible, terrible feeling when he stared at his brother’s peaceful face that his awakening was a fair time away.

 

 

Vanitas wasn’t injured except for a few scratches or bruises. He was allowed to go home that night with his brothers even though his mother opted to stay later by Ven’s side.  
Apparently car accidents were like that sometimes. One person could die in the same crash that someone could walk away from. And he could have. He wished he had hit his head and blacked out, that there had been a gap between seeing the headlights and the hospital, but there wasn’t. There was noise, so much of it, a hard, long blink, a silence, and when he opened his eyes it was to the world turned on its side and the hissing of the car as its broken parts steamed.

He would never forget what he saw. His father, eyes half lidded and still at the steering wheel, with blood dripping down his pale face from some unseen wound on his head. His brother, eyes closed and breath coming out shallow. The only breath besides his own. He had reached for Ven and tugged on his arm but he was limp and just touching him had jolted Vanitas’ whole body with fear, fear that would be the only way he could rise movement from him, fear that this was all--

He forced the image from his mind. He shoved the memory far, far away and focused on the now. Now, he was lying in his parents bed with Roxas and Sora on either side of him, none of them sleeping but all of them refusing to say a word. The house was eerie and quiet when Riku’s mom had dropped them off. Too many people were missing. It was cold and empty. He had tried to eat some of the dinner Riku’s mom made for them before she left with her son but he couldn’t stomach it and neither could the other two.

So they were silent and hungry and scared and grieving. Great. Sora was sniffing constantly too, which was grating in the otherwise quiet room. Vanitas tugged him closer in a hopes to stop it. He had Roxas tucked under his other arm but his youngest brother was almost entirely vacant in reaction since they left the hospital.

Of course Sora was the first to start speaking. “When’s Ven gonna come back?” he muttered.

Vanitas sighed. “When he wakes up.”

“Soon?”

“Soon.” Vanitas was already struggling to think of what it would be like to live in this house without his brother and father. Funnily, Ven would know /exactly/ what to say to these two to comfort them about his own coma. He’d know what to say to Vanitas, too. 

“Tomorrow?” Sora said.

“Go to sleep,” Vanitas said, closing his eyes so he wasn’t staring listlessly at the ceiling. 

At least he slept that night, even if it was plagued with nightmares.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the beginning and endings of the chapters seem weirdly placed/wonky it's because this was all originally written as one big one-shot and I've been randomly breaking it up into more manageable pieces. Enjoy!

Sora and Roxas missed school for a week, and then after that they missed the first day they were supposed to be back because their mother rarely came home from the hospital in time to wake them or slept through the alarm. So Vanitas put himself in charge. He missed Ven and he missed his dad but Sora and Roxas were /here/ and someone had to help take care of them.

“Come on, get up,” Vanitas said, rousing Roxas from the top bunk he had. “Time for school.”

Roxas groaned, looking down at their alarm clock. “Wha…? I don’t wake up this early for school.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes. “Well since I go to school earlier than you two and no one else is going to wake you up, you get up now. Or you miss school and get in trouble. I don’t care.” Lately, he noticed his temper was shortening, but he also didn’t care about that. 

He peered down at Sora. “You get up, too. I’m not telling you twice.” Sora glared at him with bleary eyes. He was still crying himself to sleep each night. 

It felt nice to be listened to though, because they both roused themselves out of bed and down the stairs for breakfast with little complaining. The three of them enjoyed breakfast in a groggy, stony silence. There was movement upstairs from their mother but none of them expected her to come down.

Vanitas was fine with it. The way she was acting. For now, at least. He almost wanted to be like her too, become a zombie that waltzed from Ven’s bedside to home and back again. But visiting was harder emotionally for him (he could still picture the crash perfectly) and he had to be there for Sora and Roxas while she recovered.

Soon, things would go mostly back to normal. Ven would wake up, they could smile again, and they would move through the grief of their father’s death as a family. The way it was always meant to be.

Vanitas walked Roxas and Sora to their elementary school first. They were early but the doors were unlocked at that hour, giving them time to be inside until they had to really be in class. He had to book it himself to make it back to the middle school, which was a few blocks out from the elementary school. He was out of breath and cold by the time he got there, but at least he wasn’t late.

Some of the kids were staring at him as he walked the halls. He hated it. What, were they going to ask a question or not? What did they want to know that their parents hadn’t already gossiped about in the week prior? He stopped at his locker, frustrated, and dialed in his combo. 

Someone approached him. Finally. He glanced to his left to see it was that white haired kid Ven was always hanging with. There was a frown on his face, half hidden by his weird red scarf.

“Um, hi,” he said.

“Hey.”

“I’m Ephemer. I’m, uh, I’m friends with Ven. You’re Vanitas, right? I don’t think we’ve ever talked before.”

Vanitas shuffled around his locker for his books. “Yeah. Yeah, we haven’t.”

“I’m really sorry to hear what happened. Ven’s one of my closest friends. If there’s anything I can help you with please, just ask.”

Vanitas sighed. He had kind of been needing to hear something like that. He closed his locker. “Thanks, Ephemer. I’ll let you know when Ven wakes up, too.”

His frown instantly switched to a smile. “I look forward to it.”

The conversation had lifted Vanitas’ mood for the day, but when it came to classes he completely zoned out. Suddenly, he didn’t feel like doing the work or listening to the lecture. Every teacher felt the need to pull him aside at the beginning of class and tell him to take it easy and that they were there for him if he needed anything, just like Ephemer had that morning. He was getting tired of hearing it already.

He tuned out anyone else who tried to talk to him for the rest of the day and walked straight to the elementary school the minute he was let out. There was time to do his homework while he waited for Sora and Roxas, but he couldn’t motivate himself to do it, and so it remained untouched and heavy in his backpack.

Sora at least seemed a little more chipper when he saw Vanitas standing there, though Roxas was his usual quiet self. 

“How was school?” Vanitas asked as he led them out to walk back home. 

“It was nice,” Sora said. “Kairi came in with cupcakes for the whole class. Her mom made them.”

“That’s neat. Roxas?”

He shrugged. “Fine.”

“Okay then.” Their trip back remained in silence after that. 

Vanitas didn’t expect his mom to be home but he checked all the rooms anyway and called her name. Empty and silent. He sighed and went to the fridge for a snack. They were running out of food, too. If he was still up when she got home, he would remind her she needed to go shopping. He wondered if he was allowed to purchase groceries at eleven.

He could hear the television on when he came back downstairs from investigating. He popped his head in to see Sora and Roxas on the couch.

“Don’t you two have homework to do?” he said.

“Nope!” said Sora.

“You better not be lying to me.”

“I’m not!”

“Okay, but if you did and Mom finds out don’t come crying to me.” Like she would actually do anything. Really, he should take his own advice and crack down on his work.

Or he could go and take a nice long nap. Yeah, that sounded better. He’d do that.

 

 

He was too angry to go visit Ven with them. It had been three months (three months of sleeping too much, too little, woken from nightmares or too sweet dreams and of waking up too early to take care of people when he was too young, and hours of hoping too much that things would just go back to normal and he wouldn’t have to step up to the plate when he was just shy of twelve) and in those three months, nothing changed. 

His mother still spent long hours sitting at Ven’s side as if the doctors couldn’t take care of his needs without her there. Didn’t she see? Didn’t she see how much Vanitas needed her? How could he take care of Sora and Roxas and /himself/? Corners were being cut when they didn’t have to be. Why should he have to worry so much about whether she would buy them food or pay the bills? Why did the lights have to go out when he knew she had the money to pay but not the energy to try?

Ven didn’t need her the way they did. He didn’t need anything! But Vanitas was over here crumbling like Atlas and she didn’t even bat an eye. She said nothing when he came back with a bruised face and a detention slip and didn’t respond to the calls about dropping grades when he had been the smartest one in the house three months ago.  
Roxas and Sora were just the salt in the wound. /Of course/ they were happy to go visit Ven with her (one of the few times she bothered to invite them to come at all) and /of course/ they forgave her the minute her blank expression turned into something close to a smile. God, they were just so easy, weren’t they? Sure they were young but they weren’t stupid. Why didn’t they share his feelings on this?

This was all /wrong/. He hated this. He was restless with energy now, cooped up in his home all alone. It was late, so he couldn’t go and bother anyone. Not that he knew who he would bother. Ephemer was continuing to be all nice to him in school but he had no idea how to make conversation with the kid. They were too different and he reminded him too much of Ven.

He squashed any further hopes that things would get better. He would just have to make them better, wouldn’t he?

 

 

Things got worse when summer rolled around. No school meant he had to constantly entertain Roxas and Sora and they ate all meals at home instead of at least one at school. Somehow their mom was getting worse at stocking the fridge so he sent the two of them to their friends’ houses in hopes of easing some of that tension.

Summer also meant Sora’s birthday, which he was now in tears over, because their mother had said nothing. She got up before any of them were awake, grabbed her keys, and headed back to the hospital to watch Ven. Like he would suddenly wake up and start dancing or something. She was treating it like any other day and Vanitas didn’t have /anything/ to give his little brother. He didn’t think she’d forget this.

So he was on the prowl in town. He’d find something for Sora. He wasn’t returning empty handed, even if he had no money. He knew there was a toy store in the small mall their town had. Sora had gotten most of his stuffed animals from here, and he was rather obsessed with collecting them. Vanitas didn’t see a problem in maybe nabbing a small one. Who would miss it? And really, who deserved it more than Sora did right now? He had to work quick though. Leaving him and Roxas home alone sat uneasy with him.

He had never stolen anything before but he imagined it wasn’t that hard. He stepped inside, calm and collected, even giving a little nod to the person working there. The store was tiny but it had only one camera. He could just about judge a blind spot where a few toys sat. The cashier was busy on her phone. He ripped off the tag of some little plushie called a moogle, hiding the tag under the plushie next to it, and shoved it into the giant pocket of his big black hoodie. 

Some old dude had entered the store while Vanitas had his back turned. Hopefully he hadn’t seen anything. He pretended to care about what else was in the store, occasionally picking something up to check his price. Satisfied that he had dallied long enough, he left, relief flooding him.

When he was in the clear he pulled the moogle thing from his pocket. It was kind of tiny, but maybe Sora’s friends had gotten him something, too. 

“They just keep getting younger, don’t they,” a raspy old voice said behind him.

Vanitas turned around instantly, hands balled into fists. It was the old dude from the shop. He should have known something was off about him. “What’re you talking about?” he said, doing his best to sound intimidating. 

The old man pointed to the plushie. “The next time you do this, you may not want to wear something as suspicious as a sweatshirt in the middle of summer.”

Vanitas glanced down at his clothes. He was sweltering in this, but he wasn’t about to bring a backpack or something even more obvious. “There isn’t gonna be a next time,” he said, narrowing his eyes. 

“Really? For a first time it wasn’t so bad.”

That caught him off guard. He was being congratulated for /this/ little thing? He shrugged his shoulders, still feeling unsure. “I plan to leave it at first time.”

The old man nodded. “Oh, it’s probably for the best. Well, have a good day. Enjoy your new toy.” He gave a wave and walked off unprompted.

Vanitas was still stunned for a moment. That was the last thing he was expecting but… it felt nice to be recognized a little. It was kind of cool, actually. He always thought old guys were kind of uptight. This guy was weirdly chill.

Ugh, what was he doing? He had to get back home to Sora and Roxas. He shoved the moogle back in his pocket and ran back home.

Sora was sitting on his bed moping while Roxas was on the floor drawing something out. They both perked up when they saw Vanitas enter the room.

Roxas wrinkled his nose. “Why’re you all sweaty?”

He ignored him and pulled out the moogle. “Happy birthday, Sora,” he said, a little breathless.

Sora went wide eyed. “You-you got me a birthday present?”

“Of course I did.”

“But how?”

“If you keep asking questions I’ll give it to Roxas.”

“No! I mean, thank you!” Sora took the plushie like it was the most valuable thing in the world. He looked at Vanitas, his face still red from crying. “I’d hug you, but you’re all gross.”

“Too bad, you’re getting a hug anyway.” Vanitas pulled him into a tight embrace before he could scramble away, ruffling his hair and making sure the hug was inescapable. Sora whined, but at least he was smiling and Roxas was laughing with them. He finally let him go and moved to leave the room.

“Where are you going?” Sora asked.

“To make your birthday dinner, duh. Stay here. It’ll be a surprise.”

“I wanna help,” Roxas said, shooting to his feet to follow after. The more the merrier. Neither of them knew how to cook, so how bad could this really be?

“You guys better be quick,” Sora said. “I won’t wait all day!”

Vanitas snorted. That was the Sora he knew, wanting to be treated like a little prince on his birthday, not all the crying and tears. 

Roxas followed him to the kitchen where he looked to scrounge up what they had left. He didn’t care if there was nothing left when he was done with it. Sora deserved to have a good birthday.

Roxas was sitting at the island watching him pensively. 

“What’s wrong?” Vanitas asked.

“I can’t believe she forgot his birthday,” he said in a quiet voice. “Is she gonna forget mine, too?”

He thought a moment about sugar coating it, but Roxas was already so vigilant and aware that it felt wrong. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “She’s wrapped up in Ven and memories of Dad. I just don’t know. But I won’t. We don’t even need her for Sora’s birthday -- I got it all covered.”

Roxas sighed. “I wish Ven would wake up. He’d know how to fix this.”

Vanitas gritted his teeth. “/I’m/ fixing this, aren’t I? I’ve gotten us this far.”

He flinched at his tone. “I-I know…”

“We don’t need Mom or Ven to come swooping in to save us. We’re perfectly capable on our own, aren’t we?”

“Well, yeah, but--”

“Now are you going to help me make this dinner or not?”

“Yes!” Roxas said eagerly, trying not to further sour Vanitas’ mood. 

What they ended up making was so horrible and disgusting that it hardly deserved to exist, but it got a good laugh out of Sora, and really, that was better than any meal the two of them could have hoped to make together.

It did leave Vanitas with a problem a few days down the line, however. If their mom was forgetting something as big as Sora’s birthday there was no way she would remember to stock up on food. Fine. He was done chasing her down and asking. Apparently he ‘wasn’t so bad’ at stealing the first time, so a second time should be even better. He needed it much more this time anyway, so it /had/ to be better.

He was pretty caught off guard when he saw the old man against at the supermarket. Maybe this time he’d be able to steal something without him noticing. He had the hoodie again, but this time it was excusable because it was always chilly in supermarkets. He knew he couldn’t grab a lot so he focused on things the other two would like and could fill them for a while.

All that managed to fit in his pockets was some fruit. He’d have to come back, wouldn’t he? How did he think that stealing would be enough to keep them all comfortable? He shouldn’t have gone and messed up half their fridge for Sora’s birthday. An empty stomach was not the price to pay for some laughter. 

A hand suddenly clasped on his shoulder and practically jumped in the air. It was the old man again. “Don’t do that!” Vanitas hissed, stepping back from him.

The man just laughed, but it sounded forced. “Didn’t mean to startle you, boy. You’ve upgraded from children’s toys to apples, I see.”

He wasn’t in the mood for this. “Leave me alone.” 

“I hope you aren’t planning to feed a family with that. A growing boy needs more than a few apples and oranges.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, I’m thankful you never call the cops on me, but I don’t know what you want.”

“Oh, I don’t want anything, not really. But my heart does go out to you if you have to be stealing food now.”

Vanitas kicked at the ground. This was embarrassing. He hated that his mother’s failure was culminating in this for him. “It’s whatever.”

“It’s not whatever! I don’t know who your parents are, boy, but they’re clearly failing in their job.”

“The name’s Vanitas, not ‘boy’. And I don’t need ‘em anyway.”

“You need them for money and food, don’t you, Vanitas?” The man smirked.

“Well, yeah, but one day I won’t. I’ll have a job and I won’t need them for anything.”

“That must be pretty far off for you, though. And you don’t look like you have a lot of time to be waiting on.”

He shrugged. “I’ll manage.” Even as he said it, the anxiety of having to face his brothers with nothing but a few fruits was starting to eat at him.

The man looked contemplative for a moment. “I may be able to help you. As I’ve said before, you have a talent for sneaking around and observing your surroundings. I’ll buy you whatever foods you need from here if you hear out my offer.”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “Just hear you out?”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

It was hardly a question. All the food he could need for his brothers plus the promise of something more? If it had to deal with more stealing he didn’t think he would mind. There was a certain rush to it he was starting to enjoy and no guilt had caught up with him yet.

“Alright then. Sure. What’d you say your name was?”

The old man was smiling. “Xehanort.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of set up! Originally, this fic was gonna be short and written when everyone was in their teen years, but I figured writing out all the drama would help me get to the plot points I want down the line. Next update will probably be after I finish writing part 6 so that I have content backed up, so maybe next Wednesday? Share your thoughts below!


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I updated the tagged relationships because this is going to contain Sora/Riku and Terra/Aqua down the road, but the bulk of the fic is still centered around the brotherly relationship. I just figured I'd tag it to give a heads up in case one of those ships isn't really your cup of tea. Either way, they won't come into play for a few chapters still. Also, decided to upload earlier than Wednesday because I wrote a lot more and a lot faster than I thought I would, so please enjoy!

Roxas wished his mother would come home more, that Vanitas would stop coming home so late, and that Ven would come home at all. At least the food problem was gone. He guessed their mom was finally starting to remember to take care of them. He was still mad she forgot Sora’s birthday and worried she would forget his, but this was a good step to forgiveness.

Besides, he was kind of getting used to being so independent. He got to go to Xion’s house whenever she invited him over. Like now. They were sitting in her backyard eating sea salt ice cream and watching the sun set. 

“Hey Roxas?” she said, her voice soft.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve got something to tell you. It’s kind of sad, but I don’t want you to be sad. Because you shouldn’t be, ever.”

His mind was already running through several things. Something terrible had happened. There was an accident. Something happened that he couldn’t stop or she knew something about his brothers that put them in danger. 

She must have seen the way his thoughts were racing. “Relax, Roxas. I told you, it’s only kind of sad, but it’s okay.”

“W-what is it?”

Her fond smile fell into a frown. “I’m moving.”

He nearly dropped his ice cream. “M-moving? Why? Where?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know why, but the town is really far. I drove out with my parents to see it.”

“So I won’t be able to visit you…” 

“I don’t want you to be upset,” she said. “I know we’ll see each other again. I’ve actually known for a while now that I was leaving.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me sooner?” His ice cream was melting onto his fingers.

She looked wistful. “I didn’t want to think about it every time I was with you. And… it’s been a tough year for you. Roxas, you’re my very best friend. That will never change, no matter how far I am.”

He felt close to tears. “But I don’t want you to leave.”

“I don’t either.” She brushed her short black hair out of her face. 

“I want to keep having ice cream with you! I-I don’t have any other friends!”

She smiled. “You’ll make more, I know you will. And you’ll never forget me.”

“Of course I won’t, but…” 

It was hard to remain happy the rest of the day. Even as he walked home from her house, realizing it would be one of the last times, it lingered with him. Xion was leaving. His only real friend. He didn’t like hanging out with Sora’s friends; Riku was moody and Kairi was too loud. He didn’t bother saying hello to Sora who was sipping away at some apple juice at the kitchen counter and went straight to their room.

He curled up on his bed with his back to the door, trying not to cry. It was a stupid thing to cry over, and lately, he learned that there were much worse things to cry about. But he still felt like he was going to. He thought about going back to school in September and how there would be no one to talk to in class. That weird feeling in his stomach he got the day of the accident returned. He felt so, so queasy. Was he sick? Too much ice cream?

Someone poked his back and he turned over to see Vanitas was perching on the ladder to look at him. His bored expression was well crafted to hide his concern.

“When you’d get back?” Roxas asked, looking at the night through their window.

“Just a few minutes ago. Why aren’t you hanging out with Sora? He said you didn’t even bother with a hello.”

He shrugged. He didn’t want to talk about it, so he looked for something else. “Vani, where do you keep disappearing to? Are you hanging out with Ephemer?” He had seen the boy a few times, usually hanging around Ven before it all, but Vanitas had mentioned him.

“Him? Nah, too straight laced for me. Especially that girl that he’s always hovering around, Skuld.”

“Then where do you go?”

He grinned. “That’s my secret. How was Xion?”

Roxas’ breath caught. Vanitas must have instantly known something was worse than he thought because he fully climbed up the ladder to lie down next to Roxas on his tiny bed.  
“She’s…” Roxas began. “She’s leaving me. She’s moving and leaving me behind.” He couldn’t hold back the tears. “S-she’s my only friend and she’s leaving! She said not to be /sad/ but how can I not be sad? Who else will I have ice cream with? I’m all alone now!”

“Hey hey hey,” Vanitas said. “You’re not alone nor will you ever be alone. So she moves. You still have me and Sora.”

Roxas wiped away tears. He didn’t like how Vanitas had left their mother and Ven off that. “But no one in class is gonna be my friend!”

“Well, maybe you don’t need them. You’re tough, Rox. If those kids wanna be your friend they’ll come to /you/ and not a second sooner. You’re gonna be okay.”

Roxas nodded, sniffing. He kind of liked the idea of that. Independent. Anyone worth his time would come to him, and not a moment sooner. He was still going to miss Xion, but maybe… he could get through this. He /would/ be okay.

“Thanks, Vani.”

“It’s what I’m here for,” he said with a nonchalant shrug. He ruffled Roxas’ hair before climbing back down the ladder to go check on Sora or something.

Roxas still wondered where Vanitas disappeared to lately, but maybe that was part of that independency they had all gained recently. Vanitas was the eldest. He could do whatever he wanted. 

He really, really liked the idea of that.

 

 

Sora had expected their mother to say something now that she was spending more days at home, but she was just a looming ghost. She was up at odd hours and lurked around, only speaking up if they were being too loud. He didn’t know how to escape her (not that he wanted to) or how to fix this growing gap, but it made him uncomfortable. Imagine that. Uncomfortable in his own home with his own mother. 

Vanitas was almost unbearable when she was around at the same time as him. It wasn’t often because he kept slinking off somewhere else, but when it did happen Sora had the task of avoiding both him and his mother. He didn’t want to get caught up in something between the two of them. Roxas had been moodier than usual lately too, and it suddenly felt like home was stifling.

One good thing about their mother being home more often was that he could visit Ven without awkwardly making conversation with her. He was still a little mad at her, after all, though he knew he wouldn’t be for long. She didn’t say anything about him walking to the hospital by himself (and neither did Vanitas) to his dismay. 

Ven looked so nice and peaceful while he was asleep. Sora had yet to be alone in the room with him since the accident, but he was kind of grateful for the time now.   
“Hey Ven,” he said, his throat already feeling tight. “I’m sorry it’s been awhile since I visited. I meant to more, but time kinda slipped away. I can’t wait for you to wake up. You missed my birthday and you’re gonna be /so/ surprised by how much I grew since you last saw me. Mom… really, really misses you. It hasn’t been the same.

“Vanitas is changing, too. He keeps disappearing on me and Rox and I don’t know where he’s going. He doesn’t like it when we bring you up and I think he really misses you, too.” Sora grabbed Ven’s still hand. “Please, wake up soon.”

He held his breath for a moment, hoping to catch a flicker of movement. Nothing. He sighed and let Ven’s hand go, sitting down in the chair by his bed. How could he sit right across from his older brother and still feel so empty and lonely?

There were footsteps as a young girl entered the room. She might have been a bit older than Ven and she was holding a vase of flowers in her hands. She stared at Sora with wide eyes, caught off guard. Her hair was as blue as Kairi’s was red.

“Oh, hello there,” she said, her shock fading to a pleasant smile.

“Hi. Uh, who are you?” Sora asked.

“I’m Aqua. My dad works as a doctor here and I help out with patients. I’ve talked with your mother before. I try to make sure there are flowers in every room.” She gestured to the vase as she placed it down on Ven’s nearby table. “How are you doing, Sora?”

“You know my name?”

“Of course. Your mother likes to tell Ven about what you and your other brothers are up to.”

“Really?” He held back from mentioning that his mother probably didn’t really know what they were up to, but it was nice that she kept talking to Ven. He didn’t want him to feel lonely.

“Yes, really. I’ve heard about Roxas and Vanitas, too. Are they visiting with you?”

He shook his head. “They’re at home. But I’ll bring them around!”

Aqua smiled. “I’m sure Ven would like that. You know, he can hear our conversations. I’m sure he loves hearing you talk to him.”

“Good! I’ll make sure to talk to him as much as I can until he wakes up.”

“Heh, well, I look forward to seeing you around more, Sora. Have a good day!” She waved to him as she left.

Sora was glad people like her were watching over the hospital. Hopefully on the days him or his mother couldn’t be there she would keep Ven company. They’d all appreciate that very much.

 

 

Vanitas was glad for a distraction. The month of November was pulling to a close and with it came the slow drag of the anniversary to the accident. He still had nightmares about it, stupid as they were, and they gripped his thoughts viciously while he was sat in class. His mother being home more often made it all the worse. Her empty eyes, her fairy-thin voice, her uselessness. They had all lost their dad and Ven, why did she get to act so special about it? He hadn’t been allowed two seconds of grief before he had to step in to make sure Roxas and Sora were okay.

And she had never really made sure /he/ was okay. So if he turned out a little fucked up, that was her fault. Or maybe it was the accident’s fault and he had hit his head so hard he forgot how to give a shit about what she chose to do with her life separate to his and his brothers’ own.

So the distraction. He was glad for it. The distraction was sort of his job now, too, which was cool because he liked the security of money in his pocket and doing his own thing, even if it was illegal. What would Ventus think of him now? He almost laughed at that.

Xehanort was fond of meeting at an abandoned (but well furnished) warehouse rather than any place that might give him away. Vanitas knew he should have been scared the day he came here and realized that the old man was running a whole organization of thievery (and probably other things) but instead he found himself excited by it all. This was a whole damn /gig/ that he was part of now. It was the security he hadn’t realized he was longing for.

The other people were a little weird though, and he didn’t talk to them unless he had to. There was a guy named Ansem who liked to be a smartass about everything and another man named Xemnas who was weird and wistful. They were way older too, and Vanitas would have never pegged them for this kind of work. They seemed to have known Xehanort for a long time, too.

Some other people came and went less frequently than those two, but there was one that really pissed him off and was, unfortunately, waiting there with the others when he arrived that night.

He crossed his arms. “Larxene,” he greeted with venom in his voice. She was one of the only other people who was close to his age here and he /couldn’t stand/ her. 

“Vanitas,” she said with equal annoyance. Did she always have to have that snooty attitude? He was never in the mood for it, but especially now of all times. He was feeling particularly prickly. Who did she think she was anyway? She may have been older but at least he didn’t walk around with a fake name like it was cool or some shit.

She looked at her nails like they were the most fascinating thing in the world. “I’m surprised you’re here. Isn’t it past your bedtime or something?”

“Funny you mention that, because you’re looking a little low on beauty sleep.”

“Asshole.”

“Prick.”

“You may not want to fight tonight,” Xehanort’s voice cut in as he approached them. Vanitas was waiting for the day he kicked Larxene to the curb. What was she even good for, hotwiring a car? He was sure he could learn to do it better and faster than her anyway. “Since this next job is for the both of you.”

Vanitas gritted his teeth. “/Both/ of us?”

“Two pairs of eyes is better than one, and you’re both inconspicuous enough for this job. You’ll be going to a house this time.”

Vanitas’ nerves were instantly on edge, but in way he was starting recognize as dangerous excitement. He liked when things were changed up or went a little awry. The chaos of it could be a lot more fun than a perfectly executed plan. He had also yet to be sent to an actual house.

“What are we grabbing?” Larxene asked, clicking away on her phone. He was remiss to admit that he was jealous he didn’t have his own. It’d be so much easier to keep in contact with Roxas and Sora while he was out. 

“There’s an office in the house with a key kept in the top right drawer of a desk. I need that key and for you two to not set off the alarm.”

“Just a key?” Vanitas said. Well, that was underwhelming. “What’s so special about this key?”

Larxene shrugged. “Who cares about why it’s special? As long as we get paid.”

“Yes, there will be payment,” said Xehanort. “As there always is. I’ve sent you the location and information about the alarm system, Larxene. Go now, and don’t waste any time.”

“Sir yes sir,” she said dryly, walking away. Vanitas went to follow but Xehanort put a hand on his shoulder.

He turned back to him, raising an eyebrow. “What is it?” he asked.

“I’m trusting you to not make any mistakes, Vanitas,” Xehanort said. “No mess ups. You will not bounce back from it.”

He winced, recalling how he had accidentally set off a store alarm a month ago. The disappointment, the subtle rage, the broken trust, all /that/ had driven him nearly mad. Xehanort was the only person in his life willing to provide for him and his brothers (at a price) and that night he had felt true terror at the thought that he might lose their only way of living. 

“I won’t fail,” Vanitas promised.

“You best not. Now, go. Do not let me down.”

Vanitas kept his hood up as he and Larxene walked through the darkness of their town. He really needed to think of something warmer. The late fall wind felt like it was blowing right through him.

Larxene glanced at the sky. “Hmm. Wonder if it’s gonna snow.”

“It better not.”

She snorted. “What, too triggering for you?”

He kept his hands in his pockets so he wouldn’t strangle her. Everyone knew him to be the sad little boy who was the lone survivor of a terrible accident. He wish they knew this side of him instead. Independent, dangerous, smart, cunning. They’d look at him with fear instead of useless pity.

Larxene let out an annoyed huff when he didn’t rise to the taunt. “You’re no fun,” she whined.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“There it is! Oh, and there’s the house.” They paused in their walking to stop at a very expensive and extravagant looking building. He might even venture to call it a mansion more than a house. “Fancy. I’m almost tempted to steal this key for myself if it’s worth all this effort.”

“Go ahead and try,” he said with narrowed eyes.

“Pfft, like I’d step on Xehanort’s toes. He’s probably got a hundred angry little minions like you waiting in the shadows to take out people who cross him. No thanks! Now let’s see if I can work out this system…”

Vanitas let her do that while he walked the perimeter of the house. Three floors. Office was probably on the second. The tree in the backyard was leaning pretty close to a window. If the alarm was disabled he could probably slip in through there and make his way to the office. He’d really like a layout or something, not these vague details, but he wouldn’t complain to Xehanort about it.

Larxene followed him to where he was staring at the tree. “That’d be a climb, monkey boy.”

“I can make it. Are there alarms on those windows?”

“You’re in luck. Just the bottom floor.”

“Then I’m going through there.”

“Ugh, I’ll be down here. Try not to make a mess, would you?”

He rolled his eyes, already beginning his climb up the tree. He and Sora used to do a lot of tree climbing together when they were younger. His heart leapt in his throat as he imagined Sora finding out about /this/. It was better that him and Roxas were kept in the dark.

He sidled his way over to the window, peering inside with his hands cupped against the glass. There was a desk and bookcases. /Perfect./ This must have been the office. Whoever living here was smart enough to have an alarm system but stupid enough to leave the second floor windows unlocked. This person was practically asking for a robbery.  
He slid the window open carefully and stepped into the warmth of the house. No alarm went off. Unfortunately, it wasn’t completely dark. The door to the office was open, letting the hall light flood in and directly onto the desk. He could hear whispers of conversation, too. He’d have to be quick.

He kneeled in front of the desk and worked on the lock there with his tools. Learning to pick a lock was probably one of the coolest things he had decided to do with his time, and very handy in his line of work. Every inch of him was on edge when the drawer rattled a bit too much as it slid open. At least the office was lined with carpet and not wood so he didn’t make any creaking noises.

He looked inside the drawer, squinting in the faint light. There were a lot of papers. He pulled one out. Case files? There were names on these. Was the person who lived here a cop? He nearly let out a startled noise when he saw his dad’s name on a file. They had never found who hit the car. His heart wanted him to grab it and run, but his mind knew that if he did that he would definitely give himself away.

He shuffled around the papers more until his hand found a smooth, cold key. It was a fancy looking thing that only sparked more questions. He shoved it into his back pocket and slid the drawer closed. A shadow descended over the desk.

He looked up to see an older boy was standing in the doorway. His wide blue eyes were a mix of horror and confusion. If it were just the boy Vanitas probably could have gotten away like a shadow into the night. He wouldn’t even mention this encounter to Larxene or Xehanort if he could help it.  
But it wasn’t just some random brown haired boy. There was an enormous black dog at his side and the minute Vanitas got to his feet to race to the open window the dog was running at him, clearing the desk in a single and devastating bound.

His ears were filled with its growls and his shouts while his shoulder was filled with its teeth as it easily bowled him over. The sudden pain and the blast of cold air from the window sent his mind spiraling to thick snow and bright headlights, that horrible honking noise, Ven’s still and bloodied body--

An alarm suddenly went off. The dog was shocked long enough for Vanitas to throw it off his body and climb through the window despite his confusion and pain. He was barely clinging to the tree’s branches before he slipped right off into the bushes below, every part of him crying out. 

Larxene was staring at him with wide eyes. There was a rock in her hand; she must have tossed one at the first floor window and set the alarm off. “I heard you scream, are you okay?” she said as he got up. She saw his bloodied shoulder and terrible limp. “Oh my God, Vanitas--”

“We have to go!” He growled, already pushing himself into a run. The house was alive with the dog barking and the alarm going off. Lights were turning on and yelling was added to the mix as the two of them ran as fast as they could down the road. The adrenaline faded into the night and all of Vanitas’ wounds seemed to pounce to the front of his mind at once.

Larxene was panting heavily. “I-I heard you scream, I thought they were /killing/ you so I threw a rock to set of the alarm. What the fuck happened, Vanitas?” Her hands were on her knees but her eyes were trained solely his shredded shoulder.

He barely heard her. What was Xehanort going to say? That boy had saw him. He probably got blood all over their carpet. He didn’t know how he was going to deal with these wounds. He was going to lose his job.

“Vanitas!” Larxene snapped. “What are we going to do?”

He forced his thoughts to focus on the now. “I have the key,” he said hoarsely. “We did it.”

“Not about the key dumbass, about you. You just got a chunk torn out of you!”

“I’ll deal with it.”

“Oh, you’ll deal with it, will you? You’re gonna go to a doctor and be found out immediately? That’s smart, Vani.”

He grimaced at her use of his nickname. “Just shut up and keep walking,” he growled.

She narrowed her eyes and muttered, “God forbid someone tries to be concerned about you.”

The cold was helping to keep the burning sensation to a minimum at least. His body was still trembling but he wrote that off as shivers as they carried on. He barely registered the walk back to the warehouse, but all his senses came back to the front when he saw Xehanort.

Xehanort didn’t have the easiest to read expressions, but there was a hint of surprise there when he saw Vanitas’ injured self. “Did you get the key?” he asked first.

Vanitas flinched. He had… why had he expected him to be concerned? The job came first, didn’t it? “Here.” He pulled it out of his pocket.

Xehanort took it, a smile dawning on his face. “Were you spotted?”

He bit the inside of his cheek. “There was a kid and his dog.”

His smile was gone. “Hm. You’re lucky I can clear this one up, Vanitas. You may not have such luck next time.”

“Who even lives there?” Larxene asked.

“None of your concern.”

Vanitas gripped his injured arm. /Next time…/ He wasn’t sure he wanted a next time anymore. What if that dog had clamped down on something much more vital? What if the next job brought up a gun or a knife?

“Your payment,” Xehanort said, hanging them both envelopes. No, he had to keep doing this. Nothing was changing at home, so he had to change for them here. “Go see Vexen about your shoulder.”

Larxene snorted. They’d both agreed long ago that Vexen was weird and creepy and they wanted no part in talking with him. Vanitas didn’t object though, and he felt Xehanort’s eyes on him the entire time.

He was starting to get the feeling that this job was a permanent fixture in his life.

Vexen was good, but he wasn’t a miracle worker, and so Vanitas was left to walk home still in pain. At least he wasn’t losing blood and the bite wouldn’t get infected, but he had to make sure no one saw him when he walked through that door. His hoodie was still in obvious and stained shreds.

He was surprised the light was on when he got home. He was even more surprised that it was his mother sitting at the kitchen counter who caught him walk in. He didn’t know where Sora and Roxas were.

Her eyes widened when she saw him. It was the same look she had when she arrived at the accident and saw him, the last time she had really looked at him instead of looked through him.

He didn’t care for it /at all/. “What?” he growled, intent on just going to his room to try and sleep off the pain.

“W-what happened to you?” she said, getting up from the chair. 

Maybe he was in too much pain or too tired, but something in him finally gave. “What happened to me? Not ‘where have you been’ or ‘are you okay?’ Like you even care.”

“Vanitas!” Her voice held real emotion for the first time in nearly a year. “How could you say that? Of course I care about what happens to you, you’re my child!”

“So it’s obligation, then? Because we share flesh and blood? No, I know what you really care about. It’s just Ven. It’s always about Ven. How many hours do you spend with him instead of us? How many times have you forgotten to take care of us? You don’t care at all!”

Her eyes went even wider. “No, no, that’s not true.”

“It’s not?” He was yelling now. “All you do is sit by his bedside like he’s going to magically awaken. He doesn’t need you the way we do! He is /comatose/ and manages to steal all of your time and attention! I was fucking in the accident and I still got my shit together because you lost it. Entirely.”

He heard the door to his bedroom creak open. Fine. Sora and Roxas might as well hear this, too.

“Ven does need me!” She argued. “But I’m always here for all of you--”

“Don’t lie to me!” He snapped. “Why don’t you just go back to the hospital? You’re much more useful there, out of /my/ way.” His voice was getting tight with emotion. He was done with this, he was not going to break down in front of her or because of her, so he ignored whatever she tried to say next to storm off to his room.

Roxas and Sora practically leapt back from the door and flinched as he slammed it shut behind him.

Sora’s eyes were wide and shiny. “Vanitas--”

“Shut it.” He didn’t spare them a glance as he crawled up to his bed, his shoulder crying out in pain as he did so. At least the lights were already out. He didn’t want to see their faces or for them to see him right now. 

Eventually, he heard them shuffle back into their own beds. It took hours, but sleep came to him in fitful bursts that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will probably come on Friday, but it's a smaller chapter compared to these past three.


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty short chapter this time, but I really couldn't cut it off at any other point than the one it hits at the end.

There were thin flurries of snowflakes in the sky that made Sora bury his face further in his scarf. He kept his hands tightly around his styrofoam cup of hot chocolate as he walked with Riku down the street. Lately, he couldn’t really count on Vanitas to pick him and Roxas up from school on time, and Roxas had wanted to go straight home, so Sora stayed out with Riku. He really, really didn’t want to be home when his mom was there anymore.

Riku sighed. “I’ve been avoiding it all day, but are you okay, Sora?”

He blinked at him. “Okay? I’m okay. Do I not look okay?”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Uh, alright. I’m here if you want to talk.”

“I know. Thanks.” He paused for a moment. “Can we… can we go visit Ven before we go to your house?”

“Sure.”

Sora let out a heavy breath. Part of him wanted to let out what he had heard last night between Vanitas and his mother, and the other part of him wanted to bury that conversation somewhere else. He went with the latter. “Hey Riku, do you ever think about the future?”

He chuckled. “Random, but alright. Of course I do. I think about what we’re gonna do when school is over and what’s gonna change between now and then. I especially think about where I’m gonna live.”

“Where you’re gonna live? What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t plan to stay in this town my whole life. It’s too small.” He shook his head. “I hate it. I want to be somewhere else, like a city, or explore the world. There’s so much out there for me to see.”

“Really?” Sora had never thought of leaving this town. His family was here, and even though it was small, he liked the familiarity of all the streets and the freedom of walking down them alone without fear. “Would you come back here?”

He shrugged. “Not if I didn’t have to.”

He frowned. “I’d miss you, though.”

Riku looked away. “I could just take you with me. And Kairi. The three of us could go on roadtrips all the time with no one to boss us around and tell us what to do.”

“But I’d wanna come back here. This is home.”

“I said I wouldn’t come back here if I didn’t have to, but if you and Kairi are here, well, I’d have to.” He had a sheepish smile on his face when he looked at him. 

Sora gave a beaming smile back. “Good!” Well, that was one less thing to worry about. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to anymore people, not if he didn’t have to. 

His good mood was dampened when they arrived at the hospital. He didn’t usually bring Riku or Kairi with him to visit, though one time he had caught Namine, Kairi’s younger sister, sitting in one of the chairs and drawing the room in her sketchpad. Ven still looked fragile, surrounded by white and perfectly asleep. The flowers Aqua had last put there were starting to wilt.

Riku halted by the door as Sora went up to his brother. He wasn’t losing hope. He could never. But the days felt longer, harder, angrier without Ven’s presence in the house. Vanitas had been so mad last night he thought something awful was going to happen. He was yelling while Sora could barely hear their mother’s voice, and this morning he had left the house before Roxas and him had even finished breakfast.

He didn’t want to cry in front of Riku. He wasn’t a baby. But he couldn’t help it, and sometimes it felt good to just cry. He held Ven’s hand as he did so, lost for words. Riku walked across the room to his side to place a comforting hand on his back.

“I just want him to wake up,” Sora said.

“He’s going to. I just know it. He’s going to wake up and you’ll get to make new memories with him soon. Don’t give up hope.”

“Riku, Riku, things are so /bad/ now.” He wiped away the still falling tears with his free hand. “Mom barely talks to us and Vanitas is always gone. I don’t know where he goes, but last night he looked like he was hurting and the room smelled antiseptic or something. They were fighting last night. I-I don’t know why they had to get like that…”

Riku sighed and pulled Sora closer into a hug. Sora was grateful for his silence, because he honestly didn’t know if there were any words that could make this right. At least he had his friends to help him through this, even though he missed Ven’s voice so much. He dried his tears and regained control of himself, feeling a bit better.

Just in time too, because Aqua had appeared at the entrance to the room. “Hi Sora, Riku,” she greeted. He didn’t know that her and Riku knew each other. She had fresh flowers in her hand that permeated the room with a sweet scent.

Someone else emerged from behind her. He was taller and older with brown hair and a painful looking black eye. “Sora, this is Terra,” Aqua introduced.

He gaped. “/You’re/ Terra?” He said in shock, his earlier grievances forgotten. “Riku talks about you all the time! I didn’t think I’d ever meet you, you sounded like a myth. He’s always going on about how cool you are.”

Riku’s cheeks tinted red. “Sora!”

“Hey, what happened to your face? Is that why you’re in the hospital?”

Aqua cleared her throat. “Oh, this is gonna be awkward…”

Terra gave an uncomfortable laugh and scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, it’s nothing major. I just got into a fight is all.”

Riku’s eyes widened. “With who? Over what?”

“With uh, with Vanitas.”

Sora’s eyes went wide. “My brother did /that/ to you? Why!?”

Aqua narrowed her eyes when it was clear Terra felt too awkward about the whole thing to continue. “Last night, Terra’s house got robbed and Vanitas was making fun of his dad because he’s a police officer. He kept saying he must have been extra useless at his job to get robbed from right under his nose.”

“So you fought him,” Riku said.

“There’s no way Vanitas would say something like that!” Sora said. “He’s not that mean.”

Terra crossed his arms. “I’m sorry Sora, but I wouldn’t lie about something like this.”

Aqua frowned. “I know he’s your brother, but he’s always had a cruel reputation.”

“Since when?” He hadn’t heard anything about this! Sometimes he was rough or short with him and Roxas, but he wasn’t mean. That just wasn’t true. He looked to Riku for answers but his friend remained silent. Terra and Aqua looked away. “I need to go talk to him,” he said.

“I’ll walk you home,” Riku said.

“No, I’m going alone.” He didn’t wait for Riku’s answer as he moved past Aqua and Terra to leave Ven’s room. Vanitas better be home, or he’d hunt all over town for him. He had looked injured last night and Terra was a pretty big guy; just what did he look like now?

Only Roxas was home when he got back, looking bored out of his mind as cartoons played on the TV. “Hey Sora,” he said. 

Sora leaned over the back of the couch. “Did Vanitas come home yet?”

“Haven’t seen him. Why? Is it about last night?” Roxas finally looked up at him. 

“No. Maybe. I don’t know, it could end up going there. But I was visiting Ven today and I ran into Terra. Apparently he got into a fight with Vanitas!”

“Terra? Oh, he’s that kid that Riku’s always talking about.”

“Yeah, him. He’s huge! Vanitas gave him a black eye.”

“Well, why’d he do that?”

“They were saying that Vanitas was making fun of Terra because his house got robbed. But he would never do that!”

Roxas frowned. “I dunno… he’s been in a really bad mood lately.”

“But he wouldn’t!”

“I mean, he might’ve. It’s getting really close to that time, you know. I think he’s really stressed.”

“Well I’m stressed too and I don’t go around fighting people and yelling at Mom!”

“No, but you’re yelling at /me/.” He looked dejected. 

Sora’s eyes widened. He let his voice lower. “I’m sorry, Rox. I’m just worried.” He hopped over the top part of the couch to sit next to him, curling up. “Everything’s gotten so confusing.”

Roxas nodded. “Yeah. It sucks. This has been the worst year of my life.”

“Really?”

“Mm hmm.”

“If it’s the worst year of your life, that means the next one will be better, right?”

“I don’t think so. Dad’s gone… Ven’s still asleep. Xion moved. It’s just going to get worse without them.”

“Ven’s gonna wake up eventually. And I know you’ll see Xion again.”

“Until then, it’ll continue being the worst year of my life. Until I speak to them again.”

“Roxas…”

The front door slammed open. Vanitas walked through, pushing the door close with equal force. When he looked to Roxas and Sora there was a dark bruise on his right cheek and another large one on his chin. 

Sora leapt to his feet on the couch, his hands gripping the back. “Vanitas!” He really had gotten into a fight with Terra, then.

“Don’t stand on the couch,” he said.

“What happened to you?” Roxas asked. 

He moved to the fridge in the kitchen, still in view of the living room. “Nothing.”

“That’s not true,” Sora said, ignoring his words to not stand on the couch. “You got into a fight with Terra!”

He didn’t glance back at them. “Oh, did Riku tell you that?” His tone was mocking.

“No, I saw Terra today. He was visiting Ven with Aqua.”

Vanitas finally looked away from the fridge, his eyes narrowed. “Why was he doing that?” Gone was the playful bite from before.

Sora wilted under such an intense stare. “A-Aqua always visits, and Terra’s her friend. He said you were making fun of him because his house got robbed.”

He snorted. “I was only saying that I was surprised his dad has no leads on who did it, or that it happened right under his nose when he’s a cop. It’s not my fault he can’t take a joke.”

“The black eye you gave him didn’t look like a joke!”

“He went at it first! Who are you to scold me for what I do anyway? Go finish your homework or something.” He grabbed an apple out of the fridge and walked to their room, the conversation clearly over for him. He made sure to slam the door behind him.

Roxas frowned. “He looked like a bruised tomato. And he was hurt last night, too…”

Sora plopped back down on the couch. “I can’t believe it! He really got into a fight with Terra. He admitted he said those awful things, too! What’s gotten into him?” For some reason, he felt like his brother was drifting farther and farther away.

Vanitas avoided him for days after that and whispers passed at school that he had skipped the detention he was supposed to share with Terra. Sora tried to ignore it, this ‘cruel reputation’ that Aqua talked about, but it was never far from his ears now that he knew what to listen for. 

Everything felt shattered.

 

 

Time dragged on, and the feeling that Vanitas was drifting away from Sora and Roxas only increased with the years. As he got older he got more violent and volatile, ready to snap at anyone who so much as looked at him funny. Some days Sora couldn’t approach him out of fear that they might get in an argument too big to be patched over. He couldn’t say that Vanitas stopped caring; he was still providing them with everything their mother had been lacking and had even bothered to buy them cell phones, even though Sora had no clue where he got that kind of money. But the care was laced between secrets and blatant lies, and something dark and cruel had slipped in beside it.

Roxas seemed to be further caving in on himself, becoming quieter and more judgemental as time passed. Sometimes things were fine, and other times Sora was never sure what he said or did wrong that set his younger brother off. More than once Sora had caught Namine trying to talk to him and be friendly, and more than once he had just closed himself off. Even their mother didn’t change.

Sora brought himself to see Ven more than the others did, and it was Ven who he shared all of his worries and secrets with. In a way, his eldest brother had become this icon to soften his anxiety with and the hospital room became one of confession. He knew his mother visited often still, but he filled in the gaps when she wasn’t there, and it was one of the few places where he wasn’t worried about drama or terrible things. 

“Home is kind of lonely,” Sora admitted to Kairi one day when they were hanging out at her house. They were just relaxing, playing video games, which meant plenty of time for Kairi to figure out how to make a normal conversation deep and honest.

“I always thought it’d be too much,” she said. “So many people and in such a small space.”

Small was probably an understatement from her point of view, since she practically lived like a princess in the house of the mayor. “It used to be, I think. When I was little. Before, you know, that winter.”

She frowned. “It’s been… four years?”

“Yeah, but it feels like so much longer. Vanitas is never home and Roxas is always out, I don’t know, skateboarding or something.”

“Namine talks about Roxas a lot, but he never says hi to me in the halls at school,” she pouted. “I wish I could help you, though. Have you talked to them?”

He sighed. “I bring it up all the time! But no one ever wants to tell me anything. You know what’s even worse? There are just some topics that have become taboo and I didn’t even realize until recently. Like, after the accident, sometimes we would talk about it, because keeping it in hurt too much. But now if I bring up Ven in front of Vanitas he gets all snarly and mean, like a yappy dog. I don’t get it!”

“Does he still visit him?”

“Honestly, I don’t think so. I mean, /Roxas/ barely does, and he has no apparent problems with visiting in the first place, so Vanitas probably hasn’t seen him in a long time. I just feel like all these things are happening behind the scenes and no one wants to tell me anything.”

She brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I’m sorry. I wish I could help somehow, but if your brothers aren’t listening to you, they definitely won’t listen to me.”

He smiled. “Were you gonna try and talk some sense into them.”

“For you? Of course!”

He would’ve liked to see that. Kairi was nearly as stubborn as his brothers anyway, and she had a way with words that always seemed to place her in the ‘correct’ area when it came to conversations. 

He laughed. “Thanks, Kairi. I think they just need some time to understand things themselves, though.” He wondered how much time that would be, exactly. It had been so long already.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. “Whose it from?” Kairi asked curiously, pausing the game.

“Aqua. Hold on…” He stared down at his text from her. He read it once, twice. Three times, just to make sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. He was silent for so long that Kairi had to shake him to grab his attention.

“Sora? Sora, are you okay? What did she say? Is Ventus alright?”

His voice was barely a whisper. “He’s… Kairi, he’s awake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next part is gonna be much longer, and I'll upload it Monday or Tuesday. Finaaaally starting to move out of the super young ages in this! Currently in writing, I'm on part 8, so I think this whole thing is gonna be 10 or 11 parts. Let me know what you thought of it, and I hope you enjoyed this part!  
> When this is done I'll finally finish adding the last three chapters to my other KH fic, What I Am :,D


	5. Part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kind comments on the last chapter, sorry I didn't respond to any of them! As for this chapter, I claim to have no knowledge on medical shit, nor do I care to have such knowledge, and also this is best read while aggressively listening to Ven's theme u_u

Things were bright. That was the first thing Ven noticed. Things were bright and there was a beeping sound nearby. Kind of soft. He wasn’t sure what it was. Where he was. To a smaller extent, who he was. He felt groggy and his body ached. He couldn’t move his hands or legs. It felt like he had never moved them before, and maybe he hadn’t. He didn’t remember. He heard a sharp breath.

There were other people in the room. A boy and a girl. The girl had her hands over her mouth and her eyes were wide, while the boy seemed completely stiff under his stare. Who were they? She was crying now. 

“Ven,” she said. Oh. Oh, that voice, it was so /familiar/. He knew that voice. But the face was completely blank. He stared up at her as she approached his left side. “Ven, can you hear me?”

He blinked at her. Yes, he could. He had a feeling he had been hearing her for a long time. Her, and someone else. He must’ve woken from a dream or something because he could still feel tendrils of emotions and thoughts that were too incoherent to be memories. Maybe he heard her there.

“I can’t believe this,” the boy said. His voice was shaky.

The girl was smiling. “Ven, I’m Aqua. We’ve never properly met, but I’ve been here while you slept. This is Terra. I’m going to tell your family about this, okay?” She was pulling up something small and black in her hands. He knew what it was, but the word escaped him. 

His family? It stirred something in him, but when he tried to bring it forward it was like sifting through sand. There was nothing there. 

Aqua looked back at Terra. “Go get one of the doctors, or my dad.”

Dad? That word hurt. That… something there hurt. His mind wouldn’t let him venture to find it but he was trying, and it just hurt more and more--

“Ven?” Aqua’s voice was soft. “What’s wrong?”

He stopped trying to think about it so nothing was wrong any more. There were other things to think about, like moving and wiping the stray tear that came from his eye. It was making his cheek itch. His body was shaking the minute he tried to push up on his hands. God, was he even moving? Now that hurt, and in a different way from hearing ‘dad’. 

“Hey hey hey, don’t move yet,” Aqua said. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself, okay? Here, I can do this.” He heard something click and suddenly the bed he was lying on began to rise so he was no longer laying flat. Well, it gave him a better view of the room, but he would have liked to be able to do it himself. 

Terra returned with an older looking man. Ven would’ve liked to pay attention to what he was saying to him, but he also felt the need to go right back to sleep. His body ached in terrible ways and he just did not want to be awake to deal with it if he didn’t have to. But this guy, this /doctor/, was shining his stupid flashlight in his eyes now, and he definitely couldn’t sleep with that.

He pulled away only to be startled by Aqua’s little gasp. “He’s moving!” She whispered. Well, terribly whispered. She was kind of loud. But yeah, he had moved a little, so there was at least a victory there. 

They were interrupted by two more people entering the room. Like everyone else, Ven didn’t recognize them, but there was something extra familiar about them, far more than Aqua’s voice. They were just boys, one with brown hair and one with blond, but they shared the same shiny bright blue eyes.

They made his heart ache.

 

 

 

Roxas hadn’t planned to do much that day. Spring was finally starting to feel warm though, so he took the skateboard Vanitas had bought him for his birthday last year and went out to enjoy the beginnings of heat. It had been a long time since he saw Xion, but these kind of days still reminded him of eating sea salt ice cream in her backyard and talking about stupid things. Texting her and calling her just wasn’t the same and, unlike her, he hadn’t really been able to make any friends since elementary school.   
His phone buzzed with a call, which he thought about ignoring before realizing he was too bored to go and ignore calls. He pulled his skateboard to the side of the road and answered.

Sora’s voice was loud and urgent in his ear. “Roxas, where are you right now? Are you near home?”

He looked around the neighborhood. “Uh, kinda. Why?”

“I’m at Kairi’s and I need you to come here. Or you can meet me there! You can meet me at the hospital.”

“What? Why would I do that? What’s going on?”

“It’s Ven.”

That was all he needed to say. There was too much hope and emotion in Sora’s voice for Roxas to be worried that he interpreted it wrong. “I’m closer to the hospital. I’ll wait for you there, but I’m not going in without you. Be quick!”

“I’m already running!” No wonder he sounded out of breath, too. “I’ll see you there, Rox!” He hung up the phone, leaving Roxas to tuck his phone away and get back on his skateboard, sliding down the streets faster than he ever had before.

He felt like he had wings, with the wind blowing in his face and the world blurring past him. Excitement bubbled in his stomach as he pushed forward, nearly crashing into a car as he pulled through the hospital’s parking lot. He stopped by the entrance, searching for the first sign of Sora.

He wasn’t hard to miss, running like a madman to make it there. There was a big, goofy grin on his face. “Made it!” he huffed. “But one problem-- I can’t get a hold of Vanitas. I’ve called and texted him a bunch.”

Roxas grimaced. “Now is a pretty bad time to go missing.” The knowledge that Vanitas wasn’t with them sat uncomfortably in his chest. Unlike Sora, he had quickly figured out what their elder brother was getting up to when he was away from home and why he seemed to pull all this cash from nowhere. He wasn’t going to rat him out to Sora or their mom, though. 

“We should wait for him,” Sora said. “Do you know where he is?”

Roxas shook his head. “No clue.” And if he’s busy with his ‘job’ then it might be a while before they see him. Anxiety pooled in his stomach. What if Ven went back to sleep? What if Vanitas missed this?

Sora tried calling again but no response. “I don’t want to go without him.”

“Maybe… maybe we should. I don’t want to either but we need to be there for Ven. Where’s Mom?”

“She’s on her way, too. I don’t know where she was before.” He sighed. “You’re right. He needs us. Let’s go.”

Roxas’ hands were jittery the entire time as they walked the familiar route to Ven’s room. It had been four years since he last saw him awake. Ven was sixteen now. God, he had missed so many birthdays and so many holidays. Could they finally start spending time together? It was hard to believe this was real; he felt like he was walking through a dream.  
There was talking coming from Ven’s room and he could see shadows of movement. His heart was beating so loud he was sure whoever was in there could already hear it, but it didn’t stop him and Sora from entering.

Ven was sitting up. His blue eyes, though a little hazy and dull, were open, and he was staring right at them. There was a tense silence in the room between the three of them, Terra and Aqua taking a step back.

Sora was already crying. He was well known for being a loud, ugly crier, but Roxas wasn’t far behind this time. “Ven! You’re awake!” Sora said, rushing forward and grabbing his hand. Roxas was right by his side, words taking a bit more time to come to him.

“You’re really awake,” Sora sobbed. “We waited for you! It’s over now, we can be together again!”

Ven stared blankly at him. His brows furrowed the more he looked at Sora and, gently, his hand slipped out of his grip. 

“Ven?” Roxas said. There was no recognition in his eyes. What had once been a feeling of too much hope and joy suddenly fell several feet into something heartwrenching. He was only met with a slightly bothered expression.

“I know this is emotional for you right now,” the doctor said behind them. “But waking from a coma is a process and not everything comes to the patient right away. Right now, Ven may be having some troubles.”

“He’s not really awake?” Sora asked. Roxas caught the way Ven’s eyes widened slightly.

“He’s awake,” said the doctor. “But these things take time. Movement, speech, even memory. I’ll have to do a full assessment to see what needs work, and beyond that, he’ll need physical therapy. He’s been bedridden for a very long time.”

Sora gave a loud sniff. “Ven, you don’t remember us? It’s Sora and Roxas. Your brothers.”

“Sora,” Aqua cut in. “Ven needs you, but he needs you to take it slow.”

“O-okay,” he hiccuped. “Then, I’ll be right here. Like I have been.”

“Me too,” Roxas said. He felt guilty for not visiting as much as Sora had. “I’m gonna be next to you the entire time.”

“That’s good,” the doctor said. “He’s gonna need you at every step.”

“Will he eventually remember?” Sora asked.

“We’ll have to see.”

He wiped his tears with the back of his hand. “Vanitas should be here.”

“I don’t know how else to reach him,” Roxas said.

Terra stepped forward, looking a little sheepish. “I have the numbers of a few people who hang around him. Do you want me to ask them?”

“Please,” Roxas said. “Yes.”

 

 

 

Vanitas rolled his right shoulder in an attempt to work some of the aching out. He thought it had nearly popped out of the socket after the fight last night, but Vexen assured him it was just bruising and a bit of strain. He’d worked through worse. He kind of missed his younger days in Xehanort’s little organization where all he had to do was steal some crap like a key and worry about overgrown hounds and their dumbass owners. Now, it was all ‘go show that guy a lesson’ this and ‘keep this guy in line’ that. Sure, he was proud of his newfound prowess, but it was much more time consuming than anything he had done before.

He was taking a break in the warehouse, lounging on one of the old couches. Xehanort was nearby talking with Ansem about some shit he didn’t care about. If there was one good thing about growing up though, it was realizing the truth. When he was younger Xehanort was an easy idol, someone who finally wanted to step in and help Vanitas instead of Vanitas helping himself. But now he knew better, and he knew there was no way out even if he wanted to (was able to) leave. This was a very fucked up form of help.

The couch he was on was terrible, but he was so exhausted that he was sure he could lay here for the next few days. Or until the next job. He quite liked the steady and reliable flow of money he was getting, even if it was physically taxing. Night was already settling outside but maybe he could get away with just going home instead of another job.

“Vanitas!” Great. He really wanted to hear Larxene’s grating voice right now. “Get up.”

He glared at her, not moving from the couch. “The hell do you want?”

She was holding her phone up. “Lauriam just texted me that Terra texted him that your brother woke up.”

He froze. “What?”

“The coma one. He’s awake.” She ran a hand through her slick hair. “God, I’ve been looking for you all day. I got that text hours ago!”

Whatever else she was going to complain about he missed entirely as he raced out, not saying a word to Xehanort. The more he got to know the man, the less he wanted to admit he had weaknesses like his brothers around, and running out of the warehouse because Ven woke up was definitely one of those weaknesses. But he didn’t care. Not right now.  
Ventus was awake, and he wasn’t sure he was thrilled about it, but he was certainly feeling /something/ and had to be there to speak to him. He was far from the hospital but was already pretty late apparently, so he kept up his run. He’d definitely regret it soon.

He slowed to a casual walk once he got to the hospital, acting as if he hadn’t run blocks to be here, and slowly approached Ventus’ room. People were already in there. He recognized Sora’s loud voice instantly, and then Roxas’ quieter one. It was unsettling how the older Roxas got, the more he sounded like Ventus.

They didn’t notice Vanitas lurking in the front of the room, turned half in. Ven was, indeed, awake. He was sitting up and staring at his hands on his lap while Sora rambled on and on about something from the edge of his bed. Vanitas grimaced, uncomfortable and unsure of what to say. 

Ventus had /no idea/ what they had all been through without him and, partially, because of him. Their dear mother’s obsession with him nearly destroyed their lives. And yes, Vanitas was feeling overwhelming relief to know that he had woken up, but he was bitter too, because it felt like him waking up was going to erase everything he had done for this family in the four years since the accident.

He cleared his throat. Sora stopped talking and whipped his head around to look at him. Roxas’ eyes widened.

“You’re late,” he said. “Where have you been?”

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” Vanitas said. He looked expectantly to Ven, but he was only met with his silent, haunting gaze. He waited a breath, and then realized that there wasn’t going to be a reaction. “He isn’t all there, is he?” He tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

Sora frowned. “The doctor said it’s going to take some time. He hasn’t spoken anything yet.”

He narrowed his eyes. So he wasn’t really awake. Not yet. 

“Well don’t just stand there,” Sora said. “Come talk to him.”

“There’s nothing to say if he can’t respond.”

“Sure there is! It’s…” He looked crestfallen as he continued. “It’s likely that his memories aren’t all there yet, so we have to help him remember.”

Vanitas crossed his arms and didn’t move an inch. He had been avoiding visiting here for so long. He didn’t think he’d stay around to patch up Ventus’ memories either. “He’s fine other than that?”

“He’s going to need physical therapy, too, but yeah. He’s going to recover,” said Roxas.

There was a subtle weight off his shoulders at hearing that. Finally, he walked to Ven’s bedside. Ven turned his head slightly and met his gaze. He felt like he was under an incredibly bright spotlight now, but he didn’t turn away.

Ven opened his mouth slightly, and what came out was a soft, “Who?”

He should have rejoiced like Sora and Roxas that he had spoken at all, but that one word shattered the spotlight and made him feel like he had been cut by its glass instead. /Who./ All those years they shared together were just gone. Vanitas, in Ven’s fragile mind, was just gone.

“That’s our brother!” Sora was saying, trying to coax more conversation out of him. Nothing else came, though.

Someone else entered the room and he turned to see their mother there, holding a cup of fresh coffee in her hand. “Vanitas,” she said. She was smiling in a way that he hadn’t seen in years. “Where have you been? I was hoping you’d be here earlier.”

He grimaced. That was his cue to leave, it seemed. He pushed past her without saying a word and stalked down the halls. 

“Vanitas!” Roxas was calling after him but he didn’t slow down. He was glad for the cool spring breeze on his skin when he got outside. It had been starting to heat up in there.  
“Vanitas,” Roxas said again, having pursued him outside.

He turned to face him, hands in his pockets. “What?”

“Please stay.”

He raised an eyebrow. He would have expected Sora to chase after him and beg him to stay so they could be one big, happy family again, not Roxas. “You guys don’t need me there,” he said.

“Ven needs you there!”

“He doesn’t even recognize me.”

“He will, he just needs time. What if he starts remembering and you’re not there? You took forever to get here. I mean what was the point of this?” He held up his phone. “If you’re just going to ignore it?”

He narrowed his eyes. “You know I’m busy--”

“Too busy for us? Too busy /stealing/ and hanging around that shady crowd?” He was clearly angry, but his eyes were shiny in a way that said he was close to tears, too. “Ven woke up and you weren’t here for hours! What’s next, are you gonna start missing birthdays too?”

His hand tightened into a fist. When did Roxas start thinking he had the right to speak to him like that? “The only reason there were any birthdays to celebrate was because of me and that ‘shady crowd’. Everything I’ve done is for you two!”

“Us two?” he repeated. “Listen to yourself! You have /three/ brothers! We have our mother! And you’re just acting like our family is split in half.”

“Ventus doesn’t need me. He hardly needed anyone these past four years, and yet all the attention that you and Sora needed growing up was placed on him. You expect me to just stand in that room and act like it’s all fine now? That things are fine and I forgive Mom for forcing me to go through all this shit?”

Roxas crossed his arms. “So then who is this about? Mom? Ventus? He couldn’t control what she did! How can you be so resentful of him?”

“Pretty easily, actually.”

“That isn’t fair!”

“Careful Rox, you’re starting to sound like Sora.”

Roxas let out an annoyed huff. “Fine! Then you can just go. I’m not chasing after you.” He turned around and stormed back inside the hospital.

Vanitas watched him go, feeling none of the satisfaction of winning an argument. Oh, what/ever/. After everything he’d done he was allowed this fit of annoyance. He was not going to let this get to him. He wasn’t.

 

 

 

Of all the people that visited, Ven liked Aqua the most. She was quiet and gentle and never pushed him too far. Plus, her and Terra seemed to bring the least amount of discomfort when he tried to remember if he knew them. They were there often because Aqua’s dad was one of the doctors visiting him apparently, and Terra liked to tag along. They would tell him about their day and the nonsense of school and everything was fine when they were around.

Sora and Roxas on the other hand… Even before they had spoken and he first saw them he was certain that there was a special connection there, one he wanted to keep strong and protect. But thinking about them would dredge up all these thoughts that hurt his head and Sora had none of Aqua’s quiet courtesy. He always felt like he was letting him and Roxas down somehow, and he hated that, because he didn’t think there was anything he could do to recover his memory faster.

And then there was Vanitas. He hadn’t stopped by since the day Ven woke up (which was only a week ago) even though Ven wanted him to. Sometimes when he slept he had flashes of nightmares, memories, and he could see the shocked face of a much younger Vanitas in the mirror of a car before everything goes white and he wakes up. Everyone had been vague about the accident that led to his coma, and he was hoping Vanitas would one day stop by to tell him the truth.

“How’re you feeling today, Ven?” Aqua asked, dropping her backpack off on the chair in the room.

He tilted his head back and forth. Movement had finally returned to him, but the muscle atrophy kept him from doing anything too strenuous. “Okay,” he answered. His voice was still hoarse from disuse, but everyone kept telling him that if he talked more it would get better.

“That’s good.” She went over to his window and opened it up, letting the warm spring breeze in. He knew deep in his heart that he had dearly missed the feeling of wind on his skin. “I was thinking of asking my dad to see if we can get you outside for a bit. How does that sound?”

He looked down at his legs. He was so thin and frail compared to everyone he saw that he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t just snap if he tried to stand up. He looked up at her and shrugged.

She smiled. “We can get you a wheelchair. There’s a nice plaza outside. Or do you want to wait for Sora and Roxas to come? They would probably love to be there.”

“We can… go now,” he said. He’d like to feel more of that nice breeze and the sunshine directly on him instead of spilling through the side of the room.

Her smile grew wider. “I’ll be right back then,” she said, leaving to find her dad.

He was kind of scared to go out, as much as he was excited. He sat up as much as he could, straining to look out the window. From his bed, all he could spy was the tops of trees with small greenish blooms swaying back and forth. He heard some distant chatter below, too.

When Aqua came back with her dad, Terra had joined them too, giving him a friendly greeting. Ven felt awkward and childish for having to be helped into a wheelchair but there was no fight in his system. 

“Ready?” Aqua said, gently guiding him out of the room. 

“Pretty exciting, right?” Terra said. “Soon you’ll be up and walking on your own two legs.”

Ven squinted as sunlight poured down on him once they got outside. It felt so much better than he thought it would. He raised a shaky hand to cup it over his eyes and provide a bit of shade, relishing in the feel of the wind tussling his hair and clothes. He felt truly… awake.

He removed his hand once he got used to the brightness and took in all of the green around him as Aqua slowly walked him through the plaza. There were birds singing high in the thin trees around them and occasionally he saw their vibrant bodies dart around. Spring flowers were in bloom in the hospital’s garden and they passed other patients once and awhile as the wheelchair followed the smoothly paved paths.

“What do you think?” Terra asked. He was grinning. “You look stunned.”

He did? He suddenly recalled a day long ago, one much hotter than this, where he was sitting on the beach at sunset with other people. There was familiar and sweet laughter from one of these people, but the faces were fuzzy and he couldn’t recall why he was with them. He closed his eyes and focused in on the memory. Yes, he knew that laugh. It was Sora’s.

“Ven?” Aqua was saying. “Do you want to go back in?”

“No,” he said quickly. “I wanna stay. I think I’m… I’m remembering something.”

“That’s amazing!” Terra said, enthusiastic as always. Ven smiled at him. Terra and Aqua entertained small talk while he tried to think more on those memories. He was tired of meeting Sora and Roxas’ excitable gaze with nothing but confusion and blankness; he wanted to finally feel like the person /they/ remembered.

It was like thinking about them summoned them, because the next thing he knew Sora and Roxas were strolling up to them with their heavy backpacks on and their eyes bright.  
“You’re out and about!” Sora said, grinning from ear to ear. “How does it feel?”

“Nice,” Ven admitted. His brow furrowed as he held onto the earlier memory. He didn’t want it to escape him. “I… We went to the beach once, didn’t we?”

Roxas’ eyes were round and earnest. “We all used to go all the time,” he admitted softly. “Do you remember?”

“I think.”

“Really?” Sora said. He was teeming with excitement. “We haven’t gone in a long time, but when it’s warmer, we can all go together again! Do you remember the ice cream Roxas always made us get?

“I still see him eat it all the time…” Terra noted.

Ven shook his head and the both of them frowned. Well, he didn’t want those sad faces around if he could help it. “Tell me about it,” he prompted with a smile.

They perked back up. “It tastes salty, but sweet,” Roxas said.

“And it’s a pretty pale blue color,” Sora added. 

“They come on popsicle sticks and sometimes it says ‘winner’, but I don’t actually know what you win.” 

Ven closed his eyes and tried to imagine what they were describing. He could already taste it perfectly in his mouth, but there weren’t any images coming up to show where he might have eaten it. 

“Maybe when Ven isn’t on a restricted diet,” Aqua said. “You can bring some for him.”

“I’d like that,” he said.

Roxas smiled. “I’m glad you’re talking more.”

“It’s getting… easier,” he admitted. Sometimes he got frustrated with himself because he couldn’t recall words properly or had to pause in his sentences to make sure it came out right, but the more he tried the better he got. Plus, talking seemed to make everyone happy, so silence just wasn’t an option anymore.

“Good!” Sora said. “When you get out of here we’re gonna do all sorts of things. We’ll go to the beach again, we’ll eat a bunch of ice cream, we’ll play all of Roxas’ stupid video games together--”

“Hey! Just because you aren’t good at them doesn’t mean they’re stupid. It’s not my fault even Kairi can destroy you in them.”

Sora crossed his arms. “They’re rigged or something.”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “Just against you.”

Ven laughed softly at the two of them, joined by Terra and Aqua. He wanted his memories of them back so dearly, and he wanted to be done with this hospital so he could finally experience the normal life he had missed for so many years. He’d do anything for that normalcy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite Ven waking up, we still have more than half the story left to go through :'D hope you guys like being here for the long run!


	6. Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part introduces a new POV-- hope you enjoy!

There was always a voice in the inky blackness of Ven’s dreams since he had woken from his coma. He had a feeling that he dreamed in his coma too, and that it might be something like this, but those were far out of his reach and he wasn’t trying to remember them. These dreams he did, however, because they felt more like they were tied with memory than anything else. The voice was young and high pitched, eager and sad, filled with new tales and filled with woes. 

It wasn’t hard to piece together that it was Sora’s voice cutting through the darkness. He had told him he visited all the time when Ven was sleeping to tell him everything that happened in their lives as they waited for him. Roxas had guiltily admitted Sora visited more than him or Vanitas, and definitely spoke more than their silent and heartbroken mother. He recalled being afraid to be alone when in his coma, and sometimes he still felt that when he went to sleep now, but the comfort of Sora’s stories had reminded him that he wasn’t alone.

As he slept and dreamed now, the darkness faded to a small room with two bunk beds and clothing strewn everywhere. There was laughter, someone was occasionally snapping at the others, and then more laughter. This was his room, the one he shared with his brothers. He knew that. He could see Roxas dangling his arms over the edge of his bed, talking down to Sora, while Vanitas said something every once and awhile above him.

These weren’t dreams, they were memories. And he needed them back.

 

 

There were a lot of reasons for Roxas to be happy, and when he went to the hospital to visit Ven with Sora every day he genuinely was. Smiling and laughing came easy around them, and he was warming up to Terra and Aqua. Home and school were completely different, however. Home was weird because their mother actually /talked/ to them and acted like the years of neglect (he had decided that’s exactly what it was, even if he it sounded harsh to him) never happened. He couldn’t bounce back into conversation with her the way Sora did, and yet he couldn’t isolate himself from her the way Vanitas had.

Speaking of, Vanitas was somehow home even less than before. Their bedroom had never felt so empty with only two bodies to warm it. When they did cross paths there was always an undertone of animosity, which he /hated/. He’d meant most of what he said in their argument but he hadn’t meant to chase him away further. The more he realized what Vanitas did in his free time the more he got scared, too. What if he just didn’t come home one day?

And then there was school. It had been nearly four years since Xion left and he still hadn’t found a group to settle with. Lately, these kids named Hayner, Pence and Olette had been sitting with him at lunch and inviting him around places, but he felt awkward, like he was being pitied or inserting himself into a group where he didn’t belong. Really, most of his day was just filled with hating where his life had ended up, and he was only /eleven/. 

At least he had skateboarding. He really, really liked skateboarding. There was a quiet little park he would go to and practice tricks. Well, it was mostly quiet. Sometimes there were other people, like now.

He recognized the two of them sitting at the bench. He didn’t think they spotted him yet despite him holding his bright blue skateboard, but he knew them as Lea and Isa. They were a few years older, Vanitas’ grade maybe, and he had seen them hanging around here more often. He hoped they would just leave so he could have some time to himself. 

Lea’s gaze fell to where Roxas was hiding. Not hiding well enough, apparently. “Hey, is that you, Roxas?”

It was a small town but he didn’t expect Lea to know his name. He stepped out and walked toward them, acting like he hadn’t been waiting for them to leave and hiding with his skateboard tucked under his arm. 

“Hey, Lea, Isa. What’s up?” He never really tried to entertain conversation with them before, especially since Lea was so loud and Isa had, as Vanitas once put it, a ‘resting bitch face’. 

“Oh you know, just chilling,” Lea said. “How’s your brother doing?”

“Ven? He’s getting better.”

“No, the other one.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “...Vanitas? Fine, I guess. Why?” Was there some new reason to be concerned about him?

“Well, you know, he’s always so busy with the--” Isa elbowed him and narrowed his eyes. Lea chuckled in embarrassment. “Sorry, sorry. Just wondering.”

“Busy with what?” Roxas asked, having a feeling he already knew the answer. Probably busy with those shady people, like Elrena, who went around jumbling their names as if it would hide their identity. All of them were too loud in personality for even a mask to hide who they were.

“Nothing!” Lea was a terrible liar. “Hey, so can you do anything cool with that skateboard?” And terrible at derailing the conversation.

Fine, he’d let it slide. For now. “I know a trick or two.”

He got to his feet. “Show us!”

“W-what?”

“I wanna see what you’re capable of. Maybe you can teach me! I’ve been looking for new skills to add to my repertoire.”

Isa snorted. “Is that shorthand for saying you finally caught on how uncool it is to fling frisbees around like a maniac?”

Lea crossed his arms and gave a tiny ‘hmph’. “You’re opinion on frisbee is irrelevant to me.”

“I’m wounded,” he said, deadpan. 

“Alright, alright,” Roxas said before more bickering could continue. “I can show you a few things. I’m not that great though.”

“Don’t worry,” Isa said. “He’s easy to impress.”

Roxas found himself actually chuckling at that. Okay, he could entertain them for a bit. Not like there was much else to be done on this lazy afternoon.

 

 

 

Sora sighed as he puzzled over his homework with Riku and Kairi at Kairi’s house. Curse them and their sense of responsibility. He’d rather be out and about, playing or something, but they both noticed he had taken a slight dip in grades because of how much time he spent visiting Ven. It was a really good excuse, but they wouldn’t let him keep it up. Besides, Ven would probably be disappointed if he found out he had something to do with Sora’s slipping grades. At least he was still doing better than Vanitas.  
He sighed again, louder and more dramatically this time. 

Kairi giggled. “What’s wrong?” She looked down at his work. “Whoa, you’re still on the first question? Riku’s done already!”

Sora rested his head on the cool table. “That’s because he’s stupidly smart.”

“Stupidly smart,” Riku repeated in a dry tone, not looking up from his phone. 

“You heard me.”

“The sooner you finish your homework, the sooner you can stop whining about it.”

He rolled his eyes and sat back up. “I say we just ditch it, Kairi.”

She tapped her pencil against her paper. “Tempting.”

"Not you, too,” Riku said, looking at her with disappointment.

“I think we can out run him,” Sora continued as if he hadn’t spoken.

“Not me!” she said. “You’d have to carry me out, princess style!”

“I could do that,” he grinned.

Riku let out an annoyed growl. “I am /right/ here.”

“Aw, we’re just joking!” Kairi said. He didn’t look like he was taking as much of a joke.

Sora rested his hands behind his head. “Don’t be so serious! We wouldn’t /dream/ of running away to avoid homework.”

Riku rolled his eyes. Well, he didn’t have to take the joke so intensely. Sora settled back into a vague attempt at doing his homework, his mind wandering to anything but. He wondered how Ven’s physical therapy was going for the day, and what Roxas was up to at the house (if he was even there) and what Vanitas was doing. He wondered that last thing a lot because he honestly had no clue. He wished he could be so self sufficient in his own entertainment, but doing anything without Riku and Kairi or his brothers was as fun as staring at paint on the wall.

“I can help you if you’re struggling that much,” Riku said.

“I’m not struggling,” Sora answered. He didn’t want Riku’s help anyway; there was something embarrassing about that, like he’d lost a race or given up. He began to write random things down.

“Now you’re not even trying.” Riku narrowed his eyes.

“We only get graded on doing it, not how well we do it.”

“That’s gonna come to bite you during a test,” Kairi teased.

“I’ll just copy off of you or something,” he said, since they sat next to each other in all the classes they shared.

She looked down at her paper. “Not sure how well that would go for either of us.”

“Or you could just do the work,” Riku said. He did not look entertained by their banter. Sora and Kairi exchanged a confused and concerned glance. They both resigned themselves to heeding him (just this once) and actually trying at that work. That didn’t mean Sora wasn’t praying for his phone to go off so he could get out of this.

He felt like years had been taken off his life by the time they were done, but Riku looked satisfied and less grouchy, so he counted it as a win. The three of them settled into a round of video games on the expensive plush couch Kairi owned to wash the thought of homework from their minds.

He glanced at the stack of games that sat under her TV. “Geez Kairi, have you always had so many?”

She laughed, not looking away from the screen. “Uh, yeah? I’m always buying the ones /you/ recommend.”

“Aren’t any of them for yourself?”

“A few, but there’s no one to play with.”

“What about Namine?” Riku asked.

She shrugged. “I try to get her to play but it’s not really her thing. She’s always drawing and walking around town or talking about Roxas.”

Sora raised an eyebrow. “What? Why?” As far as he knew, Roxas had never really mentioned her. He hadn’t known they were friends.

She paused the game and looked at him. “You know,” she said plainly.

He looked to Riku for help but he only shrugged. “I do?” Sora said.

"Come on,” Kairi said. “She’s got like, the most obvious and adorable little crush on him. Her sketchbook is filled with doodles of him.”

“Really?” He had no clue! Sometimes when he visited and spoke with Namine she would ask how his family was doing. He didn’t think she was zeroing in on information on Roxas.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t think too hard about it. Namine gets crushes really easily. When we were younger, she used to go on and on about /you/ and how you were friendly and courageous.”

She did used to be pretty shy around him, if he remembered correctly. “So I’ve been outdone by my baby brother! Who’s next, Vanitas?”

Kairi let out a loud laugh. “Oh my gosh, could you imagine?”

“Man, I kinda forgot she’s at that age.”

“At that age?” Riku repeated. “She’s only a year younger than us.”

“And crushes start even younger than that,” Kairi said.

Sora put down his controller and crossed his arms. “I-I guess they do?” He couldn’t recall any distinct crushes of his own. “Did you guys have crushes when we were little? Or still do?”

“Definitely not,” Riku answered quickly.

“Oh, what, you’re too above it?” Sora teased, poking him.

He swatted his hand away. “Exactly.”

Kairi giggled. “Same here. What about you, Sora?”

“Nah,” he said. Romance seemed like too much grief and effort sometimes. His parents hadn’t been overly affectionate when his dad was alive, and without his dad his mom had fallen apart. That was all he really had to reference, honestly.

“Maybe one day,” she said, unpausing the game. “Better hope whoever you end up with doesn’t destroy you in every video game, though. That’d be a lifetime of embarrassment!”  
Riku snorted. “If that was the golden standard, you’d be forever alone, Sora.”

“Hey! I’m not /that/ bad.” He was grinning despite himself. “Watch this!”

 

 

 

To Aqua, Ven had been looking more pensive than usual lately. Even when he was busy in the middle of physical therapy his mind seemed to be elsewhere, and she knew he was searching for his lost memories. She wished there was some easy and simple fix, a little magic spell she could utter to bring him happiness and peace with his own mind, but real life wasn’t so easy. There were little things she could do to ease the pain, however.

“How come Terra isn’t here?” Ven asked as she pushed his wheelchair through the peaceful outdoors of the hospital. Soon he wouldn’t be needing it, but they always had to be safe. He had collapsed the other day trying to walk by himself, earning an earful from her father and a few bruises.

“He’s coming,” she assured. “And he’s bringing a secret, special guest.”

“Who?”

“It wouldn’t be a secret if I told you,” she laughed. “He’ll be here any second, though.” He was also bringing his dad, Eraqus, to visit. She had known that family for so long that he practically felt like a second father to her, plus he had been the one investigating Ven’s accident since they never found who drove the other car. She was sure their dog would love Ven.

He spotted them before she did, leaning in his wheelchair as his eyes went from the familiar Terra to the very unfamiliar and intimidating black dog at his side. Eraqus had the dog on a leash, but that didn’t stop the animal from excitedly tugging on it to reach Ven.

“Hey guys!” Terra said, approaching with a warm smile. His dog was close on his heels.

“What /is/ that?” Ven said, looking taken aback. 

“This is my dog, Sully. He’s a sweetheart, don’t worry!”

“He really is the best,” Aqua said.

Ven flinched back as the dog shoved his face close, giving excited sniffs and licking his hands. “Oh no, I remember dogs, they do not get this big!”

“He’s just got a lot of fur.” Terra pulled some of the shaggy fur out of his face, revealing beady brown eyes. “See? Totally harmless.”

Eraqus chuckled. “Don’t worry Ventus, he’s very well trained.” Ven looked up at him with a curious expression. “I’m Terra’s father. You may call me Eraqus.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said as he stopped Sully from trying to lick at his face. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Terra and Aqua.”

“It would seem the same on my end. I’m glad to hear of your recovery so often.”

Aqua tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her and Terra had a tendency to ramble on when it came to the people they cared about.

Ven grinned, getting Sully to finally settle down by scratching him behind the ear. “Getting better every day!”

Eraqus nodded. “You’ve a strong will, I can see. How have your brothers been holding up?”

“They’re all good, I think. Sora and Roxas visit a lot. Vanitas, not so much.” He shook his head. “But that’s fine. I’m sure I’ll speak with him more when I go home.”

Aqua always found the subject of Vanitas to be touchy around Eraqus and Terra. She didn’t know why, though it wouldn’t take much to convince her that Vanitas had ticked them off in some way. She had been wanting to bring it up to Terra ever since Ven woke up.

“Hopefully that day will come swiftly,” Eraqus said. “Aqua, is your father working right now? I have something to discuss with him.”

“He should be on his break inside.”

“Thank you. You three enjoy yourselves, alright?” They waved goodbye to him, but she wondered what he needed to speak with her dad about. Maybe a recent case?

“You got Sully to calm down,” Terra noted, seeing his dog’s more relaxed behavior.

“Or he just tired himself out,” Ven said. “How’d ya even pick a name like that for a dog like this? I mean, he looks like he deserves a whole grand title from the queen of England or something.”

He laughed. “Well, see all those white hairs on his muzzle? He’s kind of old, and when we got him as a puppy I was also pretty little, so I named him after a character from my favorite Disney movie.”

Aqua chuckled. “Monsters Inc., right?”

Ven’s eyes went wide. “Vanitas /hates/ that movie.” He paused. “Why do I remember that so vividly? Why do I…” His gaze became distant and he stopped petting Sully’s head.   
This wasn’t the pensive thoughtfulness Aqua had witnessed lately. It was something else that she had seen overtake him on occasion. He became distant, like in the days after he first woke up, and was unresponsive to the world. It was like he curled in on himself to chase after memories and thoughts, and almost anything could trigger it, and even though it had become less common lately, it didn’t scare her any less.

She sighed. “Ven?” She said softly, not expecting and not getting a response. “I was hoping he’d get a little more time out.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything,” Terra said. “How long does it usually take him to snap out of it?”

“It varies. I’ll bring him back up and come back, okay? I won’t be long.” She patted Sully on the head before wheeling Ven back to his room.

Terra was waiting for her on a bench when she came back sans their new friend, happily watching the people walk by. She sat down next to him, smoothing the wrinkles from her skirt as she did so. Sully was snoring loudly at their feet.

“I hope he gets his memory back soon,” she said with a sigh. “He’s struggled enough.”

Terra nodded in agreement. “I know. But like my dad said, he’s got a strong will. And lots of people like you to support him. He’ll pull through.”

She just wished it was a little easier. She hoped he hadn’t been too scared by Sully in the end. Which reminded her… “I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” she said.

He tilted his head. “Yeah?”

“It’s about Vanitas. I know you got into that fight with him a few years ago, and for a justified if reckless reason, but I feel like there’s something else you’re not telling me about him. I know he’s always… up to something dangerous, but do you know something?” She wasn’t one to listen to rumors but over time she learned a lot of the crazy things people said about him were rooted in an even crazier truth.

Terra scratched the back of his head. “There is something,” he admitted sheepishly. She narrowed her eyes; she didn’t like the idea of being lied to by her best friend. “I didn’t want to say anything because I’m still not really sure if I remember correctly.”

“Go on,” she prompted.

“The night my house got robbed I thought I saw him,” he admitted. 

“/Vanitas/ robbed your house?”

“I’m not really sure, but I thought I saw him. It was really dark and Sully went right at him the minute the door was opened but… I dunno, it’s kind of hard to mistake those really bright gold eyes.”

“What does Eraqus think?”

“Oh, he definitely thinks it was Vanitas.”

“So then!” She threw her hands up. “Why is this the first I’m hearing of this? Why didn’t you two do anything about it?”

“Look, I’d jump on any opportunity to make Vanitas a little more miserable, but I /can’t/. Riku’s always going on about Sora, and you’re always going on about Ven, and I see Roxas skating down my road a lot all by himself and I just know that I can’t do anything to Vanitas because none of them deserve that. One day they’re gonna find out and it’s going to break their hearts but it won’t be from me. I’m not going to do that.”

After all these years, Aqua was still floored by how much Terra thought of those around him. “And when they do find out?”

“We’ll be there for them,” he said. “If they need us. Maybe, and I know this is some heavy wishful thinking, Vanitas will do a complete turn around and be more like his brothers and we can just let this all slide as part of some deep dark past we never discuss.”

Aqua put a hand on her chin in thought. Why /had/ he gone down that route when his entire family walked the straight and narrow? She wasn’t keen on searching for sympathetic reasons, Vanitas had been his fair share of rude and cruel to her in the past, but her curiosity was piqued and she wanted to understand the situation as best she could, if not for herself then for Ven and Terra’s sake.

“Wait,” she said. “You said Sully went right at him? You mean he got bit?”

“Yeah.”

She remembered the days around Terra and Vanitas’ fight pretty well. “That’s odd. My dad would have told me if he or any of the other doctors had admitted someone in our school into the hospital. But I didn’t hear anything.”

Terra looked down at Sully’s sleeping form. “Really? I guess it might have been shallow.”

“Shallow or not, everyone knows you have to go to some form of healthcare after an animal bites you to avoid infection. Surely he knew that.” Vanitas was many things, but dumb was not one of them. Most of the time.

He watched her curiously. “Maybe he didn’t? He ended up fine in the end.”

“But Terra, he was also /really/ short four years ago. A bite from a dog as big as Sully could have been devastating.” She got up from the bench, feeling like she had to pace to think more. “I feel like I’m missing something here. Something I should have seen a long time ago.”

He got up too. “Aqua, I’d really like to help, honestly, but I have no idea where you’re going with this. And like I said, I can’t really confirm it was Vanitas in my house that night at all.”

“No, but your dad, who is a cop, believes it was him.”

Terra crossed his arms. “I suppose you could ask Sora and Roxas. Or his mom.”

“His mom--” She paused. “His mom is always here, remember?”

“True. She wanted to keep Ven company at all times.”

“Yeah… At all times is almost an understatement.” She frowned. All this time she assumed the accident had rattled Vanitas so much that he was acting out because he didn’t know how to cope. But truthfully, there had been no one to guide him. “When did she leave for work?”

“I don’t think I ever really saw her leave for work, to be honest. Sometimes she’d go home, obviously, she’s got other kids to look out for.”

Aqua frowned. “She rarely worked, and when she wasn’t here she was home… You have to wonder what kind of financial strain she’s under now with these hospital bills, and how it had been at the beginning with the funeral.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “First you were freaking out about Sully biting Vanitas, now you’re going on about his mom’s expenses? Could you just lay it out for me what you’re thinking right now?”

“Sorry, sorry, I know I’m rambling. But I was thinking; how do you get sweethearts like Ven, Sora and Roxas, and then have Vanitas smack in the middle of that family?”

“Bad luck?”

“No. Well, partially. The accident is terrible luck. What if Vanitas was forced into his kind of lifestyle because of the stress on his family? His mother is always here, never working, his older brother is racking up bills like crazy, his younger two have no guidance. So he had to make ends meet for them.”

Terra frowned. “That’s a… theory, if I’ve ever heard one. But I didn’t lie to you about what was stolen four years ago. Remember?”

“It was--” She paused. “A key.”

“Yeah. Just a key to an evidence locker. Nothing was stolen from the locker and Dad said it was more to show off. A sort of ‘look at what I’m capable of’. The lock was replaced literally the next day. If Vanitas was stealing for money or whatever you’re thinking then he really missed out by taking one of the cheapest keys in the world.”

“Oh.” She felt deflated. It wasn’t a secret that Terra came from money. Vanitas didn’t capitalize on that, though. The key just brought up more questions, then. 

“You do bring up some good points though,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I never really thought about how much time their mom spends here. But I don’t know if there’s some big, complex conspiracy as to why he is the way he is.”

“I’m not dropping it yet,” she said sternly. “But I’ll think more on it.”

“I’ll help wherever I can,” Terra said with a smile. She was grateful for his support, because she was sure the rabbit hole got a lot deeper.

 

 

 

Ven was wallowing in thoughts and memories. They were all out of order, loose threads that he had to stitch together, but he was going to do it. He was so close. Sometimes he saw things so clearly that he forgot that the memory had been lost at all. Others were fuzzy with feelings. He spent so long chasing them that it was hard to pinpoint where exactly the real world left off and the memories began.

But he instantly was snapped back to reality when Vanitas’ rare presence was in his room. He was lurking by the front of the room, arms crossed just like on the day Ven had woken up. 

“Hey there,” Ven said, keeping his voice quiet and soft, as if he was talking to an animal that might run away. For all he knew, Vanitas could leave without saying a word.

“I got you something,” he said plainly, as if they had been talking casually for hours. He approached slowly and settled a black phone down on the stand next to the bed. “Everyone’s number is already in there.”

“Where’d you even get that kind of money?” Ven asked.

“What, no thank you first? Guess you must’ve forgotten your manners, too,” he sneered.

“No-- I mean, thank you, of course, but still.” He picked it up and looked it over. Phones were a little less clunky looking than he remembered. This one was so thin he felt like he could snap it between his fingers. “It’s an expensive gift.”

He rolled his eyes. “I can just take it back if you’re gonna keep complaining.”

It wasn’t really complaining in his opinion, he was just curious, but he let it go. “Nevermind that. I’m glad you’re finally here you know.”

“I only came to drop that off,” he said with a shrug.

“What? You can’t leave already, you just got here!” He frowned. He wanted Vanitas to tell him stories about the things he forgot. There was only so much Sora and Roxas could remember when they were so much younger than Ven. 

He eyed him for a moment. “I’ll stay for a few minutes, but I have other things to do tonight.”

“Like what? What do you do now? You always sound so busy.”

“Stuff.” He didn’t seem like he was willing to expand, even if Ven didn’t stop bugging him about it.

“Fine then,” he said, trying not to let his minor irritation show. “Let’s just talk. Sora and Roxas are always filling me in on the things I forgot so I can remember it all. Why don’t you tell me something? I kind of remembered your least favorite kids movie today for no reason.”

He looked nonplussed about that. “Do you remember the accident?” He asked in a low voice.

Ven’s eagerness at talking faded. “W-what?”

“Do you?”

He fiddled idly with the cloth of the bed. “They -- the doctors -- said it wasn’t a good idea to dwell on it, but if I tried, maybe I could. If I focused on it. Do you want me to remember?”

For a moment, Vanitas’ expression seemed to soften. “No. It’s fine.”

“What about you then? Do you remember it?”

He gave a half hearted shrug. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I? I hardly had more than a few bruises."

“Oh.” He kind of wished Vanitas hadn’t remembered, either. Those weren’t really the kind of memories he had been seeking and now it had left a sour taste to the whole conversation. “Something else, then? What did we used to do when Sora and Roxas weren’t around?”

Vanitas moved to sit on the edge of his bed, plopping down comfortably. “We did all sorts of things. Like those stupid piano lessons…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Detective Aqua is on the hunt u_u alsooo nothing is harder than writing Riku in this because he's almost at the KH1 Riku age but I don't have a good enough reason for him to act like KH1 Riku, so right now he just sounds like a brat lmao. The next chapter was probably my favorite one to write, so look forward to that on Thursday or Friday!


	7. Part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my favorite chapter to write so far, barring some of the drama that I know I'm going to love later down the line when I get to writing it. This fic continues to get longer and longer than I planned, I'm already on part 11 and not quite done yet TT_TT

Sora didn’t know when he got so competitive with Riku when it came to nearly everything, but he had, and it was a let down to know that he had once again scored lower than his friend on the test. It was still a really good grade, especially for him, but Riku just /naturally/ got a higher score with half the effort. It put him in an irritated mood for the rest of the day that he tried to hide behind his usual pep and smiles. He was definitely going to complain about it to Ven, though. Just because his brother had woken up weeks ago didn’t mean he stopped being his sounding board for all his problems.

He had his test all crumbled up in his hand as he approached the familiar room, ready to let out all of his annoyance and complaints. He paused before he could open his mouth, caught off guard by the sight of Ephemer in the room and Ven looking both wistful and elated. The two of them exchanged some unreadable expression.

“I’ll leave you two to it, then,” Ephemer said, waving at Ven. As he passed Sora, he patted him on the shoulder and offered a warm smile.

Sora quirked an eyebrow as he watched him go. “What was that about?” He asked. Ven was grinning.

“I remember,” he said softly.

Sora tilted his head, walking over to him and sitting on his bed. “Oh, what did you remember this time? Did it have to do with Ephemer?”

“He helped, but…” His voice was shaky with emotion. “It wasn’t one thing. It was /everything./”

He tilted his head. “You mean that you…” His eyes widened.

Ven looked like he might be on the verge of tears with his cheeks and eyes red. He threw his arms around Sora and pulled him into a crushing hug. “I remember! I remember you when you were little and all the stuffed animals you lined your bed with, the ones Vanitas used to toss at me when I was sleeping in.” He was definitely crying now, his tears wetting Sora’s shoulder.

Sora was crying too, of course. He curled in close to his brother, relief flowing through him. “He used to do that all the time! And you almost never woke up, no matter how big the stuffed toy was.”

Ven pulled back from the hug slightly to stare down at him with tear filled eyes. “I’ve really overslept this time, haven’t I? But no more. I’m really back.”

“You weren’t really gone,” he said. “You were always in there, just waiting to speak up. And I knew you would!”

Ven chuckled and ruffled Sora’s hair. “Thank you. For always talking to me when I slept. I could hear you, you know? And I was so afraid of being alone, but you were there. You were always, /always/ there for me.”

“Of course! You’ve missed a lot of time, but that’s never gonna change.”

“I did, didn’t I? Now I realize just how much you and the others have grown. Well, I’m not gonna miss anymore of that. I want to come home as soon as possible.”

Sora tilted his head. “But are you ready for that?”

“In my heart, yes. My body? I could use more work to make sure I’m not a liability back home, so I’m going to ask Terra to help me.” He wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. 

“We’ll all be ready for it, then. The room’s been so empty without you.”

Ven smiled. “Now that I’ve remembered most things, the room here is gonna feel pretty empty, too. The worst of it is over though.” He sniffled. “You looked kind of upset when you came in here, by the way. Was something else on your mind?”

“Well, now it seems kind of stupid,” he said sheepishly. “I was just annoyed that Riku got a higher score than me on our test.”

“Riku, huh?”

He eyed him for a moment. “You said that in a weird way. Yeah, Riku. Is there something you wanna say about that?”

Ven held his hands up. “Oh, no, nothing. You talked about him a lot when I was asleep, though. I remember.”

“He’s my best friend! Why wouldn’t I? Even if he /has/ been kind of obnoxious lately.” Sora crossed his arms. “It’s fine. I’ll do better next time.”

“I’m glad that you two are just getting competitive over grades then.” His face fell. “Ugh, I kind of /don’t/ want to think about all the years of schooling I missed.”

“Ha, bet I could score higher than at least you on a test now!”

“Well, I wouldn’t bet on that. I was your age before the accident and last I recall I was doing pretty well in class,” he said proudly. “By the way, where’s Roxas? I thought he would have come here with you.”

“Oh, he’s probably hanging with Lea and Isa. I’ve seen the three of them around sometimes.”

“Hey, I used to hang with them, too. They really liked frisbee. I thought he’d be hanging with someone closer to his grade, though.”

Sora shrugged. “I dunno, he kind of struggled to make friends after Xion moved. He told you about that, right?”

“Yeah, but not the struggling to make friends part.”

Sora had to admit that neither him nor Roxas had really told Ven about the bad things while he slept. They subtly avoided the topic of their mother, even if she was always here, and they tried not to bring up Vanitas too much. Roxas would barely listen to Sora about making friends; he definitely wouldn’t dump that issue on Ven so quickly.

“I’m sure he’ll bring it up when he’s ready,” Sora said, hoping he was right. Now that Ven was fully with them, wouldn’t things go back to being okay?

 

 

 

Aqua was on a hunt she knew she should have dropped. It wasn’t her place to investigate things that a fully trained police officer had let go of and especially not when it didn’t involve her family directly. But it did involve Ven, and God she had fallen so quickly into a protective mindset when it came to him. He just had those big, trusting blue eyes and those adorable baby brothers and she was /weak/, okay, it was that simple. And so she set off to put together the pieces that were Vanitas, in the hopes that she could stop any more pieces of Ventus from falling apart.

Her only clues to follow were the people Vanitas hung around, which was a limited group because he was a loner and was rarely spotted at school if he could help it. Briefly, she wondered how badly his grades had been suffering over the years.

She didn’t really know where to begin with any of these people -- people like Elrena and Lauriam and Ienzo whose shared solitude spoke volumes of the secrets they kept. Luckily, she was more obvious at trying to investigate them than she thought, and so Lauriam just ended up approaching her instead.

It was during lunch, so their conversation wouldn’t be heard over the crowds of people, and she was only sitting with Terra today, and he already knew what she was going on about.

“Have we done something to bother you?” Lauriam asked in his cool tone as he approached. “Or perhaps you’re looking for Vanitas? He isn’t here right now.”

“I wasn’t really looking for him,” she said. “Sorry for staring. But I /did/ want to ask you guys a few questions, if you wouldn’t mind.” She was glad he had chosen to come. If it was Elrena, she definitely wouldn’t get any straight answers or avoid insult.

Lauriam raised an eyebrow but took a seat across from her and Terra. “What sorts of questions?”

“Well… they’re about Vanitas.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I wouldn’t consider Vanitas a friend of mine, but it would be rude to talk behind his back, especially in front of the son of a police officer.”

“I can leave,” Terra said, sounding annoyed. 

She shook her head. “No, nevermind--”

He was already getting up. “This is important to you. I’ll meet up with you after classes, okay?” He smiled at her before walking off. What did she do to deserve such a good friend? She felt bad, though, because Eraqus’ job always seemed to hang over him like a shadow in school.

“I guarantee no answers,” Lauriam said. 

“Please, I’m not trying to get him in any sort of trouble. I know Terra and I notoriously butt heads with him, but not this time. I want to know what he was like before the accident, and what he’s been doing after.”

He rested his chin on his hands. “I never talked with him before. I used to be Ventus’ friend, however, with a few others. He never said anything of concern about Vanitas.”

That was news to her. Ven hadn’t mentioned much of his friend group from when he was younger. “I didn’t know you used to be friends with Ven. Even if you say you aren’t friends with Vanitas now, you’re one of the few people he hangs around when he bothers to come here. There’s something to that, right?”

“There is,” he said. “I know you must hover around Ventus a lot, so you must have observed part of their lives transpire. Their mother being absent after the death of her husband and the near death of two of her sons left a gap in their lives, one that Vanitas sought to fill. He was left to take care of Roxas and Sora for these past four years, and even now as Ventus wakes and regains his memories, the vacancy stays, and he continues to hold his family together without her.”

Aqua frowned. She hadn’t wanted the pieces to line up like that, even if logically she could see that it was heading there. Their mother was always so nice when the two of them spoke at the hospital. “I assumed the financial strain fell on Vanitas’ shoulders in some way, and I can assume how he dealt with that, but maybe you can tell me how he took those steps in the first place.”

“First, a question.” His gaze became serious. “Are you only doing this for Ventus?”

She blinked. “No, no, of course not.”

“Then Sora and Roxas.”

“I’m worried about all of them,” she said.

“Then is it your place to be worried at all? Whatever you’re hoping will come from this little interrogation will eventually lead you to confront Vanitas himself, and the both of you have burned any bridges between. If I’m having a tough time believing you’re doing this for /all/ four of them, then he’ll be impossible.”

She grimaced. Of course it was suspicious that she seemed to do a full 180 in her opinion and concern of Vanitas. And yes, most of it stemmed from her love for Ven. But as she learned more things it wasn’t hard to feel some sort of sympathy for Vanitas too, especially if he had been shouldering this burden in silence for so long. She /did/ care, and this wasn’t useless meddling. 

She shook her head. “I don’t care if you and him don’t believe I’m doing this for all of them, because I /know/ I am. I don’t expect Vanitas to take my help with open arms, but I want to offer it anyway.”

He eyed her for a moment. “Hmm. Well, I’m in a tighter situation than you may think regarding him.”

Her eyes widened. “What?”

“Not because of him, but our mutual after school activities. All I will say is that if you ever catch him doing a ‘job’, it may not seem as literal as taking money. Put simply, someone is paying the dog to chase his own tail.” He stood up, a thin smile on his face. “It was nice speaking to you. Have a good day.” With that, he was gone.

Someone paying… So stealing the key from Terra’s house four years ago had little to do with the key itself and more to do with who wanted the key in the first place. Vanitas was working for someone, and ‘mutual after school activities’ didn’t make it sound like he was alone in that. This went a little deeper than she thought.

She met up with Terra after classes, catching him on their walk home. They didn’t always visit Ven, and since he announced the recovery of his memories yesterday they both decided to give him some space so he could spend more time with his family. She wondered if Vanitas would bother to show up.

“So I learned some stuff from Lauriam,” she said, adjusting the strap of her backpack. “Vanitas isn’t getting money by stealing, he’s stealing things and gets paid. Like a shady job. And--” She paused. Terra was looking at her funny. “What?”

He sighed. “Aqua, I’m gonna support you through all of this, because you’re smart and are probably onto something and because this all sounds like stuff that’s going to lead to needing my dad, but I’m surprised that this is what you’re choosing to focus on right now. It’s spring and it’s our senior year.”

“You’re afraid I’m going to get carried away?”

“No, no. Like I said, just surprised. Finals, prom, college, all of that sitting before us, and you choose this.” He chuckled. “You know what? I shouldn’t be surprised at all! You’re one of the kindest and most selfless people I know, of course you would spend your free time trying to help others. You’re just that kind of incredible.”

She could feel a blush rising on her cheeks, so she turned away. He’d been doing that a lot more lately; the honest statements and flustering her. “Thank you, Terra. It makes me happy that you still want to help me.” She looked back at him. “I know Vanitas has caused you your fair share of disturbance. This can’t be easy.”

“It’s not exactly hard, since I’m helping my friends. But he better be grateful for this. Anyway, you were saying Vanitas was getting paid to steal things?”

She nodded. “And who knows what else? Stealing might just be the bottom of the barrel. He’s been at this since he was eleven, so whoever is paying him clearly isn’t above manipulating children. Is there like, a crime network in our town?”

“I feel like I definitely would have heard about that. This place isn’t small.”

“I feel the same, but who would pay a child to steal?” She sighed. “I suppose the more important matter is that Vanitas stops whatever he’s tangled up in. Ven’s awake and he’ll be going home soon. There’s no reason to continue like that anymore.”

Further down the street, they spotted Roxas on his skateboard, zooming off to who knew where. “I want to speak to him,” she said.

“Who, Roxas? No way, not if there’s a chance he finds out from us what Vanitas has been up to.”

“I just want to know how these past four years have been. All this time Sora brought up nothing to me.”

“I expect that of Sora, though. He doesn’t really forecast his problems.”

“Yeah, so maybe Roxas will. He didn’t talk much to me whenever I caught him in Ven’s room, but I want to try again now that I know more.”

“Okay, fine, but we better catch up quick before he rolls right into Twilight Town or something.”

They followed the sound of wheels against pavement in their quiet little town, stumbling upon a small park Aqua had never bothered to visit before. Roxas wasn’t alone when they got there; he was joined by Lea and Isa, too. The three of them blinked in surprise at their presence.

“This park is getting more populated by the day,” Lea said with crossed arms.

“Sorry,” Aqua said. She didn’t think Roxas was meeting up with other people, especially upperclassmen. “We didn’t mean to disturb you guys.”

“We just wanted to speak to Roxas for a second,” Terra said.

Roxas instantly looked worried. “Is it something about Ven?”

Aqua shook her head quickly. “No, no, he’s fine. Really, it can wait.”

His shoulders relaxed. “It’s fine. I don’t mind.” He put his skateboard down and walked over to them.

“Hey, can I ride this while you’re talking?” Lea asked.

“Just don’t hurt yourself,” he called back. They stood to the edge of the park to gain some privacy, but they could still hear Lea hollering and talking in the background. “What’s the problem?”

Terra and Aqua exchanged looks. She cleared her throat and spoke. “It isn’t really a problem, but I have a few questions that I probably should have asked you years ago. I spend a lot of time at the hospital, obviously, and I always saw your mother there. I was wondering how often she goes home?”

He frowned. “Weird question but, uh, not too often. She likes keeping Ven company.”

“Now that he’s awake, she must be home more, right?”

He shrugged. “No, not really.”

“How was it then? If she was rarely home, probably rarely working…”

“It was fine. Sora and I always had Vanitas looking out for us anyway.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “These are /really/ weird questions, Aqua.” 

His youthful, inquisitive face was a striking image of Ven, especially the way he said her name. But there was a tired sadness Ven didn’t have and a guardedness that most eleven year olds didn’t gain. “I know,” she said. “And I’m sorry I never asked earlier.”

He raised an eyebrow. “So why are you asking now?” He paused. “It has something to do with Vanitas, doesn’t it?”

“No, not at all.”

“Oh, it totally does!” He crossed his arms. “You found something out, didn’t you?”

She froze and sent Terra a distressed look. He looked just as helpless. “What, um, sort of something?”

“Come on now, everyone knows.” He sounded irritated. “How Vanitas is always getting up to shady business to get a little cash. At this point the only people who don’t know are Ven and Sora.” He gauged their shocked reaction. “And maybe you two.”

“No, we knew,” Terra admitted. “Just not that long.”

“We’ve heard things for a while, but neither of us wanted to think it was true,” Aqua said. “I’m so sorry, Roxas. I should have caught on sooner and done something to help your family, or tried talking to Vanitas, or /anything/.”

He shook his head. “There isn’t anything for you two to do. He won’t even listen to me, so, you know, you two would probably make it worse. If you’re trying to stop him, I’d give up.”

Terra frowned. “With Ven going back home soon, won’t /he/ give up what he’s been doing?”

“That’s what I hope. Have you two been investigating this or something?”

“I had to know,” Aqua said.

He sighed. “I appreciate the concern, but my family can deal with whatever problems we have. Just, don’t tell Ven or Sora.”

“Are you going to?” Aqua asked.

He looked away. “I’ll figure that out.”

“Roxas, if you ever need anything, we’re here, okay? Even if it seems small, please tell us.”

“Thanks, but I’ve managed this much.” The curtness reminded her startlingly of Vanitas. He waved at them before walking back to join Lea and Isa, the latter of which had been watching their conversation like a hawk. 

Aqua sighed. “So is that it?” Terra asked. “We wait until they need us?”

She shook her head. “I want to talk to Vanitas.”

“What, now?”

“No, but soon. I’m going to talk to him, apologize for all the enmity, and understand what happened to him. Years without an adult to properly guide him, forcing him to be a grown up for his younger brothers. I have to make sure he walks out of this okay.” Even as she said it, it felt a little too late. That was a lot of damage, and it wasn’t her job to fix it.

But she wanted to try.

 

 

 

Roxas woke up earlier than he normally would, at the first pale pinks of dawn, to catch Vanitas wandering into their room and settling into bed as if he hadn’t missed the entire night. Roxas waited a moment before carefully climbing down the ladder of his bed, glancing at the still sleeping Sora. He probably wouldn’t wake. He climbed up Vanitas’ ladder, staying on it and being met with his sharp, tried gaze.

“What?” He asked in a low voice. He almost looked sickly with his pale skin and the dark bags under his eyes. 

For a moment, Roxas was stuck on their conversation from a few weeks back. He thought about apologizing for a second for how angry he had gotten (even though he was still pretty mad that Vanitas was angry at Ven for nothing) but then he remembered that siblings didn’t really apologize. They just sort of moved on, and this wasn’t like dealing with one of his (few) friends.

“Ven’s coming home today,” Roxas said. “You know that, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“So you’re going to be here?”

“We’ll see,” he said, curling further into his pillow.

“Vanitas, /please/, I don’t get why you have to hate him--”

“I don’t hate him. I just don’t worship the ground he walks on like you two do.”

“We don’t do that.” He narrowed his eyes. “It’ll be the first time in years that all four of us are in this house. Don’t you miss that?” He did, at the very least. 

Vanitas sighed. “If you’ll let me get some sleep, I’ll /consider/ sticking around. Now go away.” 

Roxas nodded, but Vanitas was already closing his eyes. He climbed back down the ladder carefully and tip toed back to his bed. One of these days he was going to follow Vanitas just to see where exactly he found himself at the earliest hours of the morning. He fell back asleep, waking to see that Vanitas was still asleep and Sora was gone. There was distant chattering outside the door that he didn’t really recognize. He stretched, glad for the weekend’s arrival, and quietly left his room so as not to disturb his brother.

When he got out, Sora wasn’t the only one home. He was joined by Riku, Kairi, Terra and Aqua. “What’s all this?” He asked groggily.

“Morning!” Sora said with too much cheer. “Since Mom’s gonna pick up Ven from the hospital and bring him here, I thought it’d be nice to set up a little greeting for him here! You know, food, decorations, that stuff.”

He could see Terra and Riku were holding some streamers and had paused trying to get them up. “You don’t think it’s too much?” He said as he walked over to the fridge to fix some breakfast for himself.

“No!” Sora paused. “Do you think it is?”

He poured cereal and milk into a bowl, taking a seat at the nearby kitchen table. Their house was already small, with the front door, living room and kitchen being in a few paces of each other with no walls between and their room on the first floor with it. With all these people here it was more crowded than what he was used to. 

He shrugged, eating a mouthful of his cereal. “Ven’s like you, so he’ll probably love it. But keep it down, Vanitas is still sleeping.” He was probably going to have a heart attack when he saw all these people. Roxas ignored Aqua and Terra’s intense stares at the mention of his brother.

“Oh, right, of course.” Everyone kicked back into motion at that. Kairi helped keep an eye on the placement of the decorations for Riku and Terra while Sora helped Aqua get out ingredients for whatever she was planning to make.

Sora walked over to him for a moment. “Where did Vanitas go last night?” He asked in a low voice.

Roxas shrugged. “No clue. Ask him yourself.”

He frowned. “He’s gonna stop disappearing randomly now that Ven’s coming home, isn’t he?”

Suddenly the cereal wasn’t tasting as sweet as he would like it. “I dunno. Probably,” he said cooly, as if it wasn’t constantly on the edges of his mind. 

Sora seemed satisfied enough with the answer though, and walked back off to help Aqua. Roxas was starting to feel a little uncomfortable as the only one in pajamas, so he went back into his room, only to find Vanitas awake. 

He was leaning on the edge of his bed, staring at the door as Roxas shut it behind him. “Please tell me I’m imagining things and that I /don’t/ hear Terra and Aqua in our living room,” he said in a raspy voice. 

Roxas rummaged through his drawers for clothes. “Sora brought them and his friends over to greet Ven when he gets home.”

“So Riku and Kairi, too? Ugh.”

He glanced up at him. “You could join us.”

“No chance in hell.”

“Look, I don’t like everyone in that room either, but I don’t want to spend all day in here.”

Vanitas pulled out his phone, squinting at the light. “Who don’t you like in there? Oh, wait, Riku, forgot about that. Whatever, it’s not the same. Riku never punched you across the face.”

He rolled his eyes. From what he heard, that fight between Vanitas and Terra four years ago had been entirely Vanitas’ fault, so he probably deserved that bruise. “Regardless, I know there’s no way you’re gonna stay in here, so you might as well come out now.”

Vanitas shot him a smirk. “We should make a scene. Or make their lives more difficult.”

“We’re not ruining this,” Roxas snapped. “Sora is setting it up for Ven! You want both of them to be upset at us?”

“Does this look like the face of someone who cares?”

“Vanitas--”

“Fine, fine! Man, you used to be able to take a joke. What happened to you?”

He tried not to roll his eyes a second time as he slid a fresh shirt over his head. He had to admit, there was a bit more ease talking to him today compared to their last conversation at the hospital and the one earlier in the morning. Maybe they were both finally in a good mood at the same time.

“I’ll be out there,” Roxas said, hand on the door. “Feel free to join us.” Vanitas didn’t look away from his phone, but there wasn’t a definite ‘no’, so he considered it a win and left the bedroom.

He looked around awkwardly, not wanting to just watch them all work. “Is there anything I can do to help?” He asked Sora.

“Oh, yeah, Riku’s rolling out the cookies Aqua and I made if you wanna help.”

“I thought he was working on decorations.”

“He was, and then I decided I wanted to work on them for a bit. My handwriting is way neater,” he smiled.

He glanced to where Riku was rolling out the cookie dough, plastic cutters sitting next to him. “Okay,” Roxas said, not wanting to have to point out how he wasn’t fond of Sora’s closest friend. It would be even more weird because he was sure that Riku did not feel the same way about him. Or if he did, he was too well mannered to show it.

Riku sidled over to make space from him, hearing their conversation so close by. He offered a friendly smile which Roxas only half returned as he picked up a cookie cutter and set to work. 

In front of them, Kairi settled down next to Sora, pointing out which letters were uneven as he was going.

“Is Sora’s handwriting really better than yours?” Roxas asked.

He was staring pretty intensely at the two of them. “Uh, no, not really, but he wanted to write, so. You know.” He shrugged. 

Roxas wasn’t going to expend too much energy trying to figure out just what that facial expression meant, but it was definitely going to linger in the back of his mind. When they were done they put the cookies in the oven and joined the others in the living room. He perched himself on the arm of the couch while Sora, Kairi and Riku took up the actual couch. Terra and Aqua shared the smaller couch nearby.

“I’m so excited,” Sora said, looking at the decorations that were now hung. “I mean, he’s finally gonna be home. It’s been so long!”

“It’ll be nice to have a full room,” Roxas admitted. There was a certain security that came with having all four of them around that he really missed. 

“I know he’s been itching to get out of that hospital room,” Aqua chimed in. “Thank you for letting us help, Sora.”

“Of course! I’m glad you could make it, even if finals are coming quickly. Between that and worrying about prom, I’m surprised how much time you’ve carved out of us.”  
Kairi gasped. “Oh, I nearly forgot about prom! Aqua, you have to send me all the pictures. Do you have a date? Have you chosen your dress?”

Aqua chuckled behind her hand. “Of course I’ll send pictures. And yes, I have a dress, but as for date, still vacant.” She shook her head. “I’m not too pressed about it. I just want to finish my senior year with good grades above all else.”

Roxas quirked an eyebrow. He was surprised that no one had asked her yet. Actually, he was surprised that Terra hadn’t asked her. Weren’t they a thing? Or was he reading that whole situation wrong? He looked to Sora to see if maybe he had the same reaction, but he only gave him a confused shrug.

“What about you, Terra?” Riku asked.

“Me?” He looked caught off guard. “Like Aqua said, grades above everything else. But I already rented my suit, so everything’s in order.”

“But what about a prom date?” Sora said in a smug voice. He had a little smirk on, too. Oh, he definitely was on the same train of thought as Roxas, then. 

“Well, uh, I’ve got time still.”

“Is there anyone in particular on your mind?” He pushed. Roxas held in a laugh at how obvious he was being. Even Aqua was beginning to look a little pensive for Terra’s answer.  
Terra was saved from answering by Vanitas of all people as he loudly opened the door to the bedroom and came out with a grumpy expression and a terrible bedhead. Roxas was sure Terra never thought he’d be grateful to see Vanitas of all people.

Sora leaned over the back of the couch. “Morning, Vani,” he said. 

Vanitas glanced at him as he made his way to the kitchen. “Who said you could have all these people over?” He said as he set himself up with a cup of coffee. 

“Since when were there rules about that?” Sora asked. Roxas winced, suddenly aware of how few rules ran this house in the first place. Great, just more fuel to Aqua and Terra’s interference in their lives.

“Fair, but I’d always assumed you’d bring better company.” He narrowed his eyes at Terra and Aqua as he leaned against the kitchen counter. 

“Everyone here is Ven’s friend, and he doesn’t /keep/ bad company,” Sora said simply. Roxas looked awkwardly to Riku and Kairi. Yeah, not exactly Ven’s friends sitting there, but he wasn’t going to be the one to point it out. 

Vanitas shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. The silence was weird and no one knew where to pick up the conversation, especially with him lurking in the back like that.   
“So,” Kairi said. “What time is Ventus supposed to get here?”

Sora glanced at the clock. “Should be any minute!”

“Is he gonna go back to school?”

“I don’t think so,” Sora admitted. “I mean, he will eventually, because everyone has to go to school. But I don’t think right away.”

Aqua nodded. “Ven’s missed four years of schooling, and even though his memory is back, he’s having trouble with things like arithmetic and learning new vocabulary. He’ll get there eventually.”

Roxas looked to her. “You’re slated for being your class’ valedictorian, right? You should tutor him or something, since you’ll be here while you take college classes.”  
“Yeah!” Sora said. “And Terra can tutor him in, like, bodybuilding because he still’s super fragile looking!”

The two of them exchanged amused expressions. “I dunno if Ven needs bodybuilding,” Terra said. “But I can always ask.”

“You’re not even a bodybuilder…” Riku muttered.

Roxas heard the familiar sound of a car pulling into the driveway. “That’s them,” he said, hopping off the couch. They all gathered to the front and stood expectantly in front of the door, except for Vanitas, who simply hopped up on the counter to enjoy a better view with his cup of coffee.

Their mom was the first one through the door, her shock fading to fondness. It’d been a long time since he saw her happy in this house. She stepped out of the way to let Ven in. He was finally in normal clothes borrowed from Vanitas instead of that stupid hospital gown, and he looked like a normal teenager for the first time in his life. His face lit up as he saw the decorations that said welcome home and the smiling faces of friends and family.

Roxas surprised himself by being the first to rush forth and hug him, though Sora was close behind. Ven laughed and wrapped his arms around the both of them.

“This is so sweet,” he said, already sounding emotional. “Thanks, guys.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Sora said. “We’ve got cookies baking, too, and we bought some sea salt ice cream for you to try.”

“Really? Oh, finally, I’ve been dying to know what the hype is about,” Ven said with a pointed look at Roxas. He then looked over his head at Vanitas and released the two of them from the hug to go and give him one. Vanitas held his coffee far from them so it wouldn’t spill when Ven gave him a tight hug around his waist.  
“Let go,” Vanitas grumbled.

“I could totally just yank you off the counter from this position, you know,” Ven said.

“And I could pour this coffee over you.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

Vanitas inched the cup closer with a grin on his face, and Ven finally let go to step back, a playful smile on his own. Roxas hadn’t realized how stiff he had been, and his shoulders relaxed as if some weight had been lifted. Maybe all of Vanitas’ posturing and snark meant nothing and it could all go back to normal.

“Terra, Aqua,” Ven said as they both greeted him with a hug. “Thanks for being here. It’s so nice to see you guys not in the hospital and not while I’m in a wheelchair.” He chuckled. “Though it’s still a bit of a strain to look up to you, Terra.”

He laughed and ruffled Ven’s hair. It was kind of weird to Roxas to see his older brother get treated as someone younger for once. “Hopefully you’ve still got some growing left in you then,” said Terra.

Ven smiled before looking to Riku and Kairi. “Wow,” he said. “You guys have really grown. Riku, you /really/ let your hair grow.”

Riku tugged self consciously on a long strand. “Well--”

“It looks cool! Maybe you could teach Sora how to use a brush one day.”

“Oh, like you’re any better!” Sora said.

“Excuse me, but this is four years worth of bedhead,” Ven said with mock pride. “I wouldn’t dare mess with it. What’s your excuse?”

Sora burst into laughter. Roxas wasn’t sure he was quite as ready to start cracking jokes about Ven’s coma, even if Ven himself was fine with it. 

The timer for the cookies went off, which Aqua took out of the oven and placed on the counter. Vanitas reached for one, but she was so quick to smack away his hand that for a moment they were both stunned and silent.

“Those look great,” their mother said, oblivious to the spike in tension. “Did you make them, Aqua?”

Aqua stepped back from them and Vanitas took a sip of his coffee, his gaze cold. “Um, yes,” she said. “Sora helped me though, and Riku and Roxas cut them out into shapes.”

“They smell awesome,” Ven said.

“Let them cool first,” their mother warned. It was a weirdly stern tone that none of them had heard in a while. Not because there hadn’t been moments in the passed four years that she didn’t scold them for something when she was there, physically and mentally, but because it was the sort of tone she reserved for them when they were very young.  
Ven paused for a moment as if he was also registering this. “Right, of course, I’m not gonna go and burn my hand or something.”

Vanitas slipped off the counter and placed his now empty mug in the sink, disappearing into their bedroom. Roxas wasn’t going to chase after him; this had been pretty good for Vanitas. Sticking around, saying hello, not picking a fight with their mother. Also, tolerating Aqua and Terra’s presence (though he wished he had got a picture of Vanitas’ face when Aqua smacked his hand). 

There was something slightly off to the day as they spent it indoors talking and eating too many sweets. It was probably having their mother around, especially the way she hovered over Ven, but the invited guests still left in high spirits later that night. Roxas was still kind of confused about what Riku’s deal with Sora and Kairi was, but that wasn’t really his problem and he’d probably forget about it the minute he rested his head on his pillow.

They said their goodnights to their mother before going into their bedroom where Vanitas was lounging on the floor, staring up at his phone.

“I can’t believe you stayed in here the whole day,” Sora said with a shake of his head.

“I came out for dinner, didn’t I?” Vanitas countered.

Ven sighed as he looked around the room. “Not much changed, huh?” He said as he walked over to Sora’s bed and picked up one of the plushies. He squished it experimentally in his hand. 

The room felt so much smaller with Ven in it now that he was sixteen and not twelve. But it was a comforting sort of small. They’d all outgrown the space a while ago, but fitting the four of them in here with their bunk beds and old memorabilia was a welcomed bout of nostalgia for Roxas. 

Ven sat down on his bed, looking up at the bottom of Vanitas’ bed where he had stuck tiny glow in the dark stars. “This bed is already so much better than my hospital one,” he said.

“You’ll never have to go back to that one again,” Sora said. Roxas climbed up to his own bed, elated at the sight of seeing all their beds properly filled.

Ven smiled and settled down into his bed, still looking surprised by it all. The four of them stayed up late talking, later than they ever had before, letting their laughter and voices carry deep into the night. The worst was over for them, finally, and things could settle down. Roxas went to sleep feeling completely at ease.

When he woke in the early morning and saw Vanitas’ bed vacant, he realized that things hadn’t really changed at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think there's gonna be an update for a while because I'm going to be super busy with college work and I don't want to upload parts if I'm not writing at the same time. Maybe after next Friday? Luckily, this was a pretty big chapter, so I hope it holds you off!


	8. Part 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The worst of my college work is behind me so I'm rewarding myself by posting the chapter today instead of tomorrow haha

Vanitas had seriously considered not going to the bonfire on the last day of school simply on the principle that he was exhausted. The bonfire was actually something he really enjoyed; the chance to throw all his homework, failed grades and untouched work, into a fiery pit with his classmates was a highly appealing idea that he subscribed to at the end of each year. But warm months kept him at his busiest with Xehanort because there was no frost or blizzards to keep him from being on the move. That, and he got up to his own antics that were equally illegal but less dangerous now that he didn’t have to worry about hypothermia.

To add onto that, he had been bending over backwards to make sure neither Sora nor Ven noticed his absences as much. It was too late with Roxas; his glares were getting so intense that Vanitas thought maybe Isa was rubbing off on him a bit too much. Roxas probably thought that Ven coming home was going to be some great salve to their situation because their mom was looking more lively than ever. He wasn’t even considering how she was still stuck job hunting and that Ven woke up with more bills to pay than a minimum wage thirty year old man living in an apartment in a city.

Vanitas’ “income” was rocky at best, but for a while he thought he could cover everything he needed to. Then he spied those long digits and knew he couldn’t just walk away from it all and contribute nothing. He couldn’t walk away from it all regardless, but the hospital bills were just another nail in that coffin. So the extra work left him feeling bone tired.  
He eventually convinced himself to go because one of the few joys left in life was watching the questions his teachers put together burn up into the night sky. Besides, his brothers were going, and Sora probably would have nagged him until he gave in. The four of them made their way to the beach together just as twilight was fading into full on night.

“I can’t wait to never look at this history homework again,” Sora said, looking down at the thick folder he clutched to his chest.

“History isn’t that hard,” Roxas said. His folder was slightly less filled.

“It’s not,” Sora agreed. “But somehow Riku /always/ got a few points higher than me on every paper and test, and I don’t want these sitting in our room for one more second!”

Ven chuckled. He didn’t have any homework to burn, obviously, but Vanitas bet that Aqua and Terra had offered half of their own homework to burn in place. “It’s a good thing that you and Riku push each other to do better at school, though. What about you, Vanitas? Any top scores?”

He swiftly hid the red marks on his papers from view. “My grades are fine,” he said. Roxas snorted, but a glare kept his mouth shut.

Ven glanced between the two of them suspiciously. “Oh? What was your best class?”

“English,” he said quickly. “Definitely English.” Because a C was better than the army of D’s he received in all the rest. 

He was glad Ven let the conversation go, falling back into idle chit chat with Sora. He didn’t need to hear a lecture about it when he could finally cast school from his mind for the next three months. 

When they arrived at the beach it was already crowded with high schoolers and middle schoolers and the bonfire was being set up. Sora made a beeline to Riku and Kairi the minute he spotted them, and it didn’t take much longer for Roxas to go to Lea and Isa, trying to contain his excitement at seeing his own friends.

Vanitas stuck by Ven, since it looked like Terra and Aqua hadn’t arrived yet. He had to admit, the last bits of sunlight across the calm ocean was a view that would never get old, and Ven seemed equally entranced by it. 

“I think I’m going to try and walk here every day,” Ven said.

He had recovered a lot, and he wasn’t the same fragile boy that had been confined to a hospital bed, but Vanitas still worried about him making this tiny trip by himself. He shrugged and said, “Try not to get hit by a car when you do.”

“Vanitas!”

He snickered. “Relax, I was joking.”

“So not funny.”

“Like you don’t crack jokes at your own coma.”

He crossed his arms. “That’s different.” 

“Not really.” The conversation fell at that, but neither of them were bothering to grasp for things to say anyway. The stars had taken over the sky by the time Terra and Aqua arrived to whisk Ven off to burn their homework together, leaving Vanitas to watch the great bonfire and wait for people to clear out so he could chuck his.

Sometimes he spotted Lauriam among the crowd with Elrena at his heels, but he didn’t give him much more than a glance. It was weird to think that in his own grade, he used to be friendly with his classmates when he was little, and now all they knew to do was talk about him behind his back. Whatever. He didn’t really care what anyone thought.

A few people had cleared out from the bonfire to chat with their friends further down the beach, leaving him an opportune moment to toss his homework in the blazes. It was satisfying to watch it go up in flames, gone for good. School was probably the biggest waste of his time, and to an almost dangerous level, too. If he didn’t have to go to school he would have more time to earn more money. Really, he was just going to drop out when he turned sixteen, regardless of what Ven or his mom had to say about it. He watched the last bits of his homework disappear into ash, satisfied. 

“Vanitas!” Roxas called him from somewhere down the beach. He went towards him only to see a stick of that stupid sea salt ice cream being offered to him. “Take it,” he said.

He did, giving a glance to Lea and Isa. “You’re gonna kill yourself eating so many of these.”

Roxas shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the worst way to go.”

He took a bite of the ice cream, already bored of the salty sweet flavor. If he had to pick a sweet to die by, it would probably be those cookies Aqua and the others baked the day Ven came home, but he didn’t think he’d ever have those again, so he’d settle for Roxas’ favorite treat.

“Did you burn your homework already?” Lea asked him.

“Course I did. I--”

“Vanitas!” It was Aqua of all people calling him.

“Oh, what now?” He grumbled, heading off to the sound of her voice. He couldn’t get two seconds of enjoying his homework burning without someone bugging him. And really, her of all people? She was lucky he was even acknowledging her.

To his surprise, Terra and Ven weren’t with her. He could hear Ven laughing by the water’s edge, and when he looked he spotted Terra, Ephemer and Skuld with him. They were too far to hear whatever Aqua had to say to him, and that was suspicious to say the least.

“What the hell do you want?” He asked, taking another bite of his ice cream. Her shoulders stiff, her whole body on edge. Good. He liked the idea of his mere presence riling others up.

She sighed. Annoyingly, she wasn’t as easy to piss off as Terra. “I just wanted to talk to you for a moment. I know we aren’t really friends--”

“We’re pretty much the opposite of friends, Aqua.”

“--But I blame myself for that.”

He paused mid bite of his ice cream. “What?” This was going to go somewhere uncomfortable and weird, wasn’t it?

She brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. “I’ve spent a lot of time around Sora and Ven, as you know. And in the back of my mind I always /knew/ that all of you were going through a lot, but I didn’t consider how it might have affected you as you were growing up. I didn’t think twice about the rumors that circulated and I didn’t think that you lashing out at everyone had any deeper meaning beyond it being, well, just your nature.”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“I wanted to understand you,” she said. “Because it was wrong of me to just react to what you did without wondering why. I know what you’ve been doing to keep your life, and Sora and Roxas’ lives, stable.” She lowered her voice. “The stealing. And that you might be being paid to do it in the first place.”

He stared at her blankly for a moment. “How did you find out?” He asked, keeping his tone level.

“All I had to do was ask around,” she admitted. “Which I realize sounds terrible, but if I had come to you I wouldn’t have learned anything. Vanitas, I want to help.”

Ask around? There were only a few people who would give that kind of information. He had never cared about the rumors; no one had real proof. But now Aqua was sounding like she /did/ and she was best friends with the son of a cop. 

"Let me get this straight,” he said, his knuckles turning white around the ice cream’s tightly gripped stick. “You snooped about my life behind my back, probably with Terra like some fucking Scooby-Doo gang, found out what I’ve been doing for the past four years, and thought that I would suddenly be begging for your saving?”

“No, no, I wasn’t thinking that! You don’t need saving, but you don’t need to stand alone either.”

“I don’t need your help!” he snapped. “If you breathe a /word/ of this to Ven or Sora I swear to God, Aqua, I will make your life miserable.” His mind was already running a mile a minute, thinking about what he would do if they knew the truth or if Terra decided he remembered that Vanitas broke into his house four years and told his dad. It would be over.

Aqua’s eyes were wide. “I wasn’t ever going to say a word to them,” she said. 

“Good,” Vanitas said before she could continue. “Keep your mouth shut and quit butting into our business. Ven and Sora aren’t babies; they don’t need you running around trying to play hero for them.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I’m not trying to be anyone’s hero and I’m not doing it just for them! If you take anything away from this let it at least be that-- that I’m just as concerned about you.”

“Oh, please.” He was losing his patience with this conversation. “You’re a terrible liar. Just leave me and my family alone, okay? I don’t need to be at the center of your savior complex.”

“Aqua? Vani?” Ven’s voice called them out of the argument as he approached. He looked between the two of them with concern, lingering on Aqua’s flustered expression. “Is something wrong?”

“Everything’s fine,” Vanitas said, taking a final bite of his ice cream. “But I’m gonna head home now.”

“What? We just got here!” Ven whined.

“No, you can stay. I’m not really feeling it anymore.”

“You sure?” He was putting on that stupid puppy face.

“Yeah, I’m done.” He glanced at Aqua, hoping she could feel every ounce of his annoyance and aggression. “I’ll see you back at the house.”

He turned and left before there could be any more objections, or before he just snapped. Normally he stayed longer for these things, enjoying the sound of the waves and watching the last bits of sun stretch across the ocean, but there was no way he was sticking around. He had to think about what he was going to do if Sora and Ven found out, or if Terra decided to be an even louder mouth than Aqua. 

His stomach coiled with anxiety at the thought of it all.

 

 

 

 

Sora watched the shadowy figure of Vanitas leave the beach and frowned. Was he going to come back? Things were probably fine, so he didn’t bother getting up from where he was sitting on the shoreline with Riku and Kairi, comfortably enjoying their presence. It was a little surprising to him that Vanitas was just as distant as he had always been, even though Ven was back and their mom was talking to them more, but he figured he just needed more time to adjust.

“Are you guys gonna go to Aqua and Terra’s graduation?” Kairi asked, cutting through his thoughts.

“Of course!” he said. “I can’t believe they’re gonna be in college. It’ll be weird not seeing them around more often.”

“They’re still gonna be living in town,” Riku said. “Terra said it’s cheaper to not dorm.”

Kairi nodded. “Makes sense. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that ‘college experience’ of being away from home.”

“Same,” Sora said. Sharing a room with someone that wasn’t one of his brothers? Being far from them and only able to call them? He’d feel so lonely, even if he made a bunch of friends. And what if something terrible happened while he was away? That last thought really hurt.

“So you wanna be stuck in this town?” Riku asked.

“I’d leave eventually,” Kairi admitted. “Namine and I always talk about getting an apartment in a big city together! But I don’t know if I could just /leave/ right after high school. It sounds so… scary.”

“Well, I’m ready for it,” Riku said.

“Do you know where you’re gonna go?”

“Not yet, but somewhere far.”

Sora frowned, not liking the direction the conversation was going. “We have years to think about it! Let’s not stress about it now.”

Riku shrugged, clearly not thinking it was a stressful topic to begin with. Sora had no clue what he was going to do when Riku and Kairi eventually chose their own paths. He hoped they could just pick the same thing so he could follow them; just anything to keep the three of them close.

“Besides,” Sora continued. “We all know the first place Riku would run off to after high school is Disneyland.”

“That’s true!” Kairi said, bursting into giggles. She reached behind Sora to nudge Riku’s shoulder with her hand. “You’d go off to meet your idol, wouldn’t you?”

“Those jokes were never funny!” He bit back, his cheeks dusted with pink. “Don’t act like you guys didn’t have obsessions when you were little!”

“I dunno Riku,” Sora said in a smug voice. “I admire it, but nothing I loved as a kid beats your love of Mickey Mouse.”

He gave him a light shove with his shoulder. “It wasn’t /love/, I was six! What six year old doesn’t like Mickey Mouse?”

“Uh, this one didn’t,” Kairi said, pointing to herself with a smirk. “At least not to the level you did!”

“Well /I/ didn’t have my entire room themed after Disney princesses.”

“Disney princesses are way cooler than Mickey Mouse!”

Sora burst into laughter, glad that no one was bringing up his brief phase of being obsessed with Star Wars. The three of them stayed there, bickering and chattering like they always did. Even though the humidity was thick like a second skin and tiny bugs kept popping out of the cool sand to nip at their skin, Sora was undeniably filled with comfort and content squeezed between these two, staring at the stars.

He leaned back and spotted Ven hanging out with his friends by the dying embers of the bonfire. His cheery laugh would never get old, not when they had gone so long without hearing it, and the nights were finally gone where Sora would hold his breath, waiting to see if his brother would still wake up the next morning. It hadn’t been something he was worried about when Ven was in the hospital, but at home it had bothered him for some time. Now, things were settled. Well, mostly. He didn’t miss the way Ven sometimes threw all of them confused looks as his memories caught up with what he realized they had become. It was still taking him a while to adjust to it all.

Kairi followed his line of sight, glancing over Ven to look at Terra and Aqua. She shook her head. “I can’t believe Aqua.”

Sora perked out of his thoughts. “Hm? What, did she do something?”

She gave an over dramatic sigh. “It’s more like what she didn’t do. Prom is a few days away and she hasn’t asked Terra! I don’t know what she’s waiting for but at this rate they’re just going to both awkwardly go as friends.”

“Maybe Terra will ask her,” Riku said. He paused. “Maybe not.”

Kairi pouted. “Well someone better say something soon.”

“I’m still surprised that they aren’t just a couple,” said Sora. “They’ve been best friends since they were little and do everything together, and it’s so obvious they like each other, so what’s taking them so long?”

“Terra gets nervous,” Riku said.

“Aqua’s a perfectionist,” Kairi added. “She’s always gonna be waiting for the right moment.”

“Well this is a perfect moment!” Sora smiled. “It’s a pretty night on the beach, most of the activity has left; what could be more scenic?” He looked over at the two of them, hoping to catch Terra maybe leading Aqua away from their group, or Aqua reaching out for Terra. Nope. They were just talking idly with Ven and Skuld.

“We should do something,” he concluded.

“What?” Riku said. “No way! They’ll sort this out themselves.”

“No, I’m totally in,” Kairi said, already mimicking the smug look on Sora’s face.

“Guys--”

“Come on, Riku,” Sora snickered. “These two just clearly need a little push in the right direction. It’s harmless!”

“Yeah,” Kairi said. “We’re just helping along what’s already gonna happen.”

He shook his head. “I’m not helping. It’s a bad idea!”

Sora got to his feet and dusted the sand off of his clothes. “You don’t have to, then. Come on, Kairi, we have a couple to save!” Riku gave them a dejected look, but he didn’t move from his spot to follow after them.

“So what’s the plan?” Kairi whispered as they got closer.

"Well, uh, I was thinking we just, like, give them a friendly reminder.”

“That’s it?”

“Like put the pressure on! What’s a better motivator than embarrassment?”

She nodded. “True, true!”

Ven was the first to spot them. “Oh hey guys,” he said casually. “What’s up?”

“Oh, we just came to see what you guys were doing,” Kairi said.

Sora looked to Terra and Aqua. “It must be pretty exciting that this is your last bonfire,” he said.

“It’s a little sad,” Terra admitted. 

“But nice,” Aqua said. “No more high school to stress about.”

“Yeah, must be nice! And graduation is in a few days…” Kairi said.

“Prom, too,” Sora added. He caught the suspicious look Ven was giving him out of the corner of his eye. “That’ll be fun, right?”

“Who did you guys say you were going with again?” Kairi asked.

Ven gave a sharp inhale as Aqua and Terra’s expressions fell into a mix of awkwardness and panic. “Who wants to worry about prom dates on a night like this?” Ven said with a forced smile.

Terra rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess we’ve been putting it off a little…”

"But only because we’ve been busy!” Aqua added quickly.

“Oh?” said Sora. “So you’re both still without dates? Hmm, this seems like a bit of an easy fix, doesn’t it?”

Ven quickly slung an arm around Sora’s shoulder, pulling him into a tight lock and ruffling his hair. “Sounds like their problem! Why don’t you two go back to the shore? Riku’s lookin’ a little lonely there!”

Sora struggled against his grip, trying not to laugh. “Let go, let go!” He walked with him away from Aqua and Terra, Kairi trailing after them while giggling. “Come on, Ven!” He was finally released when they were farther down the beach and out of Terra and Aqua’s hearing range.

Ven crossed his arms, his smile disappearing. “Just what do you two think you were doing?”

Kairi’s giggles faded and she kicked at the sand idly. “We were just tryin’ to help,” she said.

Sora did his best to fix his hair from Ven’s attack. “They’re hopeless! It’s not like we were trying to do anything bad, honest!”

He shook his head. “Terra and Aqua are fully capable of handling their own problems. If they need more time then they need more time.”

“Oh come on,” Sora whined. “Don’t /you/ wanna give them a tiny push?”

Ven let out an exasperated sigh. “All the time, trust me! But we can’t do that to them.”

“But what if they never say anything?” said a distressed Kairi. “What if they go to prom as ‘just friends’ and awkwardly hang out with each other the entire time? Aqua deserves better than that!” She blinked. “And Terra, too.”

Sora snorted. “Your bias is showing, Kai.”

“Regardless!” Ven cut in. “You both know it’s the right thing to do. I have faith those two will work it out.”

Sora shook his head. “I hope you’re right, because I’ve known them longer and I’m telling you, they’re /super/ hopeless without a nudge.”

Ven ran his hands down his face. “Just… give them a chance.”

“Fine,” Sora said reluctantly.

“Okay,” Kairi said. “Sorry.”

Satisfied, Ven left them to their own devices and rejoined his friends. They joined Riku at the shore silently.

“Looks like that went well,” he observed dryly.

“We succeeded at making things awkward,” Kairi admitted. She groaned. “I just want them to go together!”

Riku laughed, looking less upset than he had a moment ago. “They’ll work it out. I’m sure you guys put /something/ in their minds.”

“I hope so…” said Sora. 

Eventually, a very sleepy Roxas ended up dragging him and Ven back home and saying goodbye to their friends. It was late in the night by the time they got back into their room, and Sora was slightly surprised to see Vanitas wasn’t there.

“Where is he?” Sora asked groggily as he settled into bed.

“You know he just likes being out,” Roxas said, climbing up the ladder.

Ven stared at the empty top bunk. “He’s out so much. He was never like that when we were little.”

“Well, you know, things change,” Roxas insisted. “He’s changed.”

Ven looked back at him. “But where does he go?”

“Wherever he likes, I guess.”

Ven frowned. “All these years and you don’t even know? What about you, Sora?”

He shrugged. “He never really tells us.”

“Just go to sleep, he’ll be back in the morning,” Roxas said as he pulled his blanket over him. Sora watched Ven stall for a moment and the cogs in his mind turn before he finally settled into sleep. Regarding Vanitas, he didn’t think there was much to worry about, but he couldn’t remember what hour he came back home and silently slipped into bed.

 

 

 

Now that Ven had his memories back, and had a few months to stew over them, there were a few things that kept not adding up. Logically, he knew that the four years he missed out on had allowed Vanitas, Sora and Roxas to grow into teens and tweens who were more mature and straight up different from what he remembered, but there were still too many things that kept shocking him the more he thought about it. Really, where did Vanitas wander off to? Why was Roxas hanging out with upperclassmen so much? Sora seemed much the same, except there was a rivalry with Riku there that he kept complaining about and one Ven had no memories of existing before.

Vanitas gave him the most concern. He had gathered that over time his little brother had been known for a more troublemaker personality than he had when they were little, and that he wasn’t very fond of Terra or Aqua, but no one went into details beyond that. He couldn’t forget the look on their faces when he had approached Vanitas and Aqua at the bonfire. Whatever they were talking about had been intense because both of them were flushed red and had furrowed brows.

Now, as he was watching Terra and Aqua take pictures the day of prom (she had finally found the courage to ask him out) he wondered what they had been talking about. He wanted to ask, but what if it wasn’t appropriate? He awkwardly stood to the side with Sora.

Oh, that was another thing. He hadn’t minded his mother’s overbearing nature when he first woke up, it was nice to be taken care of like that, but she had been pretty strict in saying that he wasn’t allowed to go anywhere by himself. Sora had shown up for Terra and Aqua’s graduation, but he had had no intention of being here for the before prom pictures like Ven had. He was only here because Ven would have had to stay home otherwise.

“Aqua looks so pretty!” Sora noted with a smile. She really did, with her long blue dress that shimmered and moved like the ocean’s waves. “Guess you were right Ven, they did manage to figure it out by themselves.” Terra’s arm was looped around her waist, a little awkwardly, and both of them hadn’t lost that nervous edge that came with a new relationship.

Ven crossed his arms. Eraqus was the one taking pictures and he couldn’t look more proud. He probably had it the worst of any of them; he’d definitely been watching these two dance around the question for years. 

“I can’t say it was entirely without your help,” Ven admitted.

“Whaddya mean?”

“You and Kairi certainly got into their heads the night of the bonfire. Aqua said she asked because she was tired of waiting for a perfect moment, and you and Kairi reminded her of that.” He nudged at him gently with his elbow. “Just don’t forget your own advice in the future.”

He tilted his head. “Huh? What’s that mean?”

“You know,” he shrugged. “When /you/ start getting interested in relationships and stuff, I better not be listening to hours of moping because you can’t make a move.”

Sora’s eyes went wide. “I’m not interested in that stuff!”

“I said when.”

“Well, whatever,” he huffed. “Won’t be a problem with me!”

Ven rolled his eyes. Granted, it was kind of weird to think about Sora being in a serious romantic relationship, but he imagined it’d happen one day. He just didn’t know if he should place his bets on Kairi or Riku yet.

Aqua walked toward them as Terra and Eraqus looked over the new photos, walking as slow as she could on the sand. The beach made for the most obvious spot to take these pictures, but her heels were definitely not equipped for it. Ven offered out his arm, which she took gratefully.

“I hope those last few pictures came out good,” she said. “It’s so hot out here.”

“Aren’t you going to check them?” Sora asked.

“I was fine with the first ones we took. It’s Terra that’s hard to please. I know that whatever ones he picks will be good.”

Ven smiled. “I’m glad that you guys are doing this. It’s nice to capture memories like this.”

She nodded. “And it gives us a good quiet moment before prom itself. I’m excited, but… Well, I just hope it’s as fun as everyone claims it is.”

“Of course it’ll be fun!” Sora encourage. “You’ll have your best friend with you the entire time.”

Aqua gave a fond look to Terra. “Yeah, that’s true. Thank you both for coming though, it’s really eased my nerves to have friends here.”

“Anytime,” Ven said. He paused, still picturing how upset she had looked the night of the bonfire. “I also came because I kind of wanted to ask you something,” he admitted.

“Oh?”

“The night of the bonfire, you and Vanitas were talking. Can I ask what it was about?”

She blinked at him. “That night? I don’t really remember, to be honest.”

“You don’t? You both looked pretty upset, and he went right home. Well, kind of. He wasn’t there when we got back.”

“Hmm… Sorry Ven, I really don’t. I was thinking about a lot of things that night; if I looked upset, it might have been because it was my last bonfire here.”

“I see,” he said, studying her face for a moment. He shook his head. “Nevermind it then.” She frowned but didn’t try to bring it back up. Once the photos were done, Eraqus had driven Aqua and Terra back to his house for final preparations. He offered to drive Ven and Sora home, but Ven avoided being in cars if he could, and so the two of them walked home together.

Sora looked up at Ven as they walked, catching his pensive expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Aqua was definitely lying to me, right? About not remembering the bonfire.”

“You noticed too, huh?” He put his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, she wasn’t very convincing. I wanna know what they were talking about now, too.”

He sighed. “I’d ask Vanitas if I didn’t think he’d beat around the bush. Or if I could pin him down for more than a second. You’re sure you have no clue where he wanders off?”

“Not really. Maybe with his friends? Like Lauriam and Elrena. But I don’t see them around town nearly as much as I see Roxas with Lea and Isa, and he only leaves half as often as Vanitas does.”

“If Vani’s friends with those two, he doesn’t talk about them much. Should I ask them?” He hadn’t really said a word to Lauriam since he woke up, even though they had been friends when they were younger. He sort of exuded this strange, intimidating energy that Ven wasn’t used to.

“I dunno,” Sora said. “Sometimes I think-- nevermind.”

“Huh? What is it?”

He frowned and his voice grew quieter. “Sometimes I think Roxas knows something. Just a little bit more than I do. But it’s one of those things I don’t ask about because he gets all snippy under pressure.”

“Really?” It was bad enough knowing his friends and Vanitas were keeping some sort of secret from him, but Roxas too? What could they possibly be hiding? Why did they feel the need to keep it secret from him? He was their older brother; he knew how to handle problems and he didn’t want them to think they had to handle it alone.

“Are you gonna ask Roxas?” Sora asked.

He shook his head, a little frustrated and offended by all the secrecy. “No, I won’t. I’ll just… tag along with Vanitas.”

“What do you mean, you’re gonna sneak after him?”

“No, no sneaking. But I’m not allowed to leave the house alone, remember? So I’ll just make him drag me everywhere. Whatever he’s doing doesn’t matter, I’m bound to find out if I spend all my time around him.”

“That’s true!” Sora said. “You’ll tell me what you find out, right?”

“Of course. Unlike others, I’m not a fan of keeping secrets from my family.” He had faith in this. It probably wouldn’t take long for Vanitas to tell him the truth or show him, and soon they could be done with the lying.

Though it still hurt that he knew he was being lied to at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be very... intense, so I'm super excited for the reactions to that. But! I hope this chapter was equally enjoyable as I slowly get more set up out of the way for the climax of this whole fic!


	9. Part 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'll be a fun one. Also the only chapter I've written in a single POV over a short period of time with no breaks or major time skips. Yay, I guess?

Vanitas was particularly good at dodging everyone in the house when they were awake, but Ven finally caught him at a reasonable hour a few weeks after Terra and Aqua’s prom. He had already been up for hours studying over some of the work he had been given to catch him up on schooling when Vanitas wandered out of their bedroom with an intense bedhead and sleepy eyes. His tank top showed off all sorts of unusual scars Ven didn’t recall being there before, and he couldn’t place a story or a reason to any of them.

“Vani!” Ven said, startling him.

“Geez Ven, what?” He said as he searched the kitchen for his late breakfast.

“Are you going anywhere today?”

He glanced at him where he was working at the kitchen table. “Why?”

“Roxas is out with Lea and Isa, and Sora’s catching a movie with Kairi, so I’m stuck here.”

“No Riku? Weird. Go hang out with Mom or something.”

“She’s at that new job, remember?”

“No,” he said with very little care in his voice.

“Anyway, like I said, I’m stuck here. And it’s boring. So we should do something or go somewhere.”

“A little boredom never killed anyone, Ventus.” He put waffles in the toaster and leaned against the counter, waiting for them to pop back up. 

Ven held back a sigh. He was not going to let this opportunity slide. “Come on, Vani, we haven’t hung out much and I’d like to get a few hours in before you’re back out to whatever you normally do. Or you could, you know, take me with you to where it is you go.”

He scoffed. “Not happening.”

“Well, why’s that? I wouldn’t embarrass you in front of your friends or anything, and you know I was always happy to bring you along when I hung out with Ephemer and the others,” he said, trying to keep his suggestion casual and not investigatory. 

He grabbed his waffles when they popped up, put them on a plate and settled himself across from Ven. “Well that was because we were kids and I didn’t have a lot of friends of my own. Trust me, you’re better off staying in here.”

“But Vani,” he whined, putting on his best puppy face.

Vanitas looked unphased. “Ugh, whatever, if you wanna do something today, fine. I’ll spare you a few hours.”

Ven broke into a smile. He waited for him to be finished with breakfast before joining him outside to aimlessly walk through town. He looked at every road and building they passed closely and then to Vanitas to see if any of them sparked a comment or reaction. He must be hanging out somewhere around here, right?

“Can I at least have a hint as to what you normally do?” Ven asked. “You don’t tell me anything anymore.”

“Well you don’t grill Roxas and Sora about what they do nearly as much as you do me.” He crossed his arms. “And it’s not any of your business. I’m not a kid.”

“I don’t ask them because I always know what they’re up to. But we used to do everything together!” 

He didn’t like the fact that he had woken up to a divide between the two of them. They had always been a bit of a dynamic duo, even if Vanitas had been rough around the edges since they were little. But Ven hadn’t cared about that when he was little, and he liked to think he didn’t care now, but it seemed those rough edges were starting to turn on him instead of everyone else.

“‘Used to’ being the key words,” Vanitas said. His voice was dipping into an aggravated tone. “Now are we just gonna keep wasting our time out here or do something?”  
Ven pouted. “Fine, fine, we can grab ice cream or something.” Seeing that he was already getting Vanitas on edge, he backed off about where he was disappearing to.  
But he didn’t give up. A few days later, he managed to stop Vanitas before he left the house again.

“Let me go with you,” Ven said, grabbing his arm before he could leave.

He looked back at him questioningly. “What? Oh, not this again. Look, Sora’s right there, go hang out with him.”

Sora perked up from where he sat in the living room. “I’m uh, actually gonna go hang out with Kairi and Riku right now. So Ven’s all yours!” he said quickly before scampering off.  
Thank God someone was on his side. Ven looked expectantly at Vanitas, keeping his expression innocent. “See?”

Vanitas rolled his eyes. “What, are Terra and Aqua busy, too?”

“Probably. You wouldn’t confine me to being their third wheel, would you?”

“You were /always/ their third wheel.”

Not true, he thought bitterly. “Well, whatever, can I go with you?”

He pulled out his phone and glanced at it. “Maybe some other time. I have to go now.”

“Vanitas--”

“I’ll see you at dinner.” He left before Ven could get in another word.

Sora popped back out of their room with a curious expression. “Are you gonna follow him?”

Ven crossed his arms. “I could. But… it’d be wrong. I want to know what he’s doing, but I trust that whatever it is I won’t have to sneak around to find out. If I keep pestering, he’s bound to tell me.”

Sora frowned. “I hope so. I really wanna know.”

He sighed. “Me too, Sora. Me too.”

He spent that summer trailing around Vanitas as much as he could without turning their conversations into an argument. It wasn’t hard to miss the fact that Vanitas was starting to plan his appearances in the house around whether or not Ven was busy with tutoring or the last bits of physical therapy he was taking. Toward the later months of summer, giving into fall, he noticed Roxas was starting to try and get in the way, too, intentionally.

So there really was something they were hiding together. No one in his family was a particularly good liar, himself included, and his faith in their intentions was starting to drain. Why did Roxas know what was going on but not Sora? How could Aqua and Terra make normal conversation with him without feeling guilty about keeping a secret? Why couldn’t Vanitas just tell him?

It wasn’t fair. Luckily with the return of school, it was easier to pin Vanitas down for a moment or two. But a fair number of times he had arrived toward the end of their school day to find Vanitas hadn’t gone to school /at all/ and left no word of where he was instead. At this point, it was just ridiculous, and Ven wasn’t exactly a saint. He couldn’t wait around all day.

He decided to confront Terra and Aqua first, once and for all. He hadn’t been teasing the question about the bonfire around them since he didn’t think they needed any more stress now that they had started college, but he had to know.

They were at Aqua’s house, partially to help with his tutoring and partially to just hang out. It was becoming harder to see them with the intensity of college sweeping them away, so he knew he had to seize the moment.

He put down his pencil. Terra looked up from the textbook he was studying. “Stuck?” He asked, moving to look over Ven’s work. Aqua only glanced up from her book.

How could they both act so casually for months with him? Didn’t it bother them to be lying to a friend? Or was the reason really that good? For a minute he felt guilty thinking that his friends and family might be hiding something for his own good, but then again, they were /lying to his face/ and he couldn’t take that anymore.

“I do have a question,” he said in a low voice. “And this time, I want real answers.”

Aqua put down her book, tilting her head innocently. “Ven?”

“I know you remember what you and Vanitas were talking about the night of the bonfire,” he said.

Her eyes widened. “I--”

“I’m not mad,” he lied. “I trust you guys. You’re my closest friends. But whatever reason you kept it from me, you don’t have to anymore. I don’t know if you thought I still wasn’t mentally ready because of the coma, or if you think I’m still stuck with the mind of a twelve year old, but I’m ready now.” He smiled as sweetly as he could.

They glanced at each other. “Ven,” Aqua began softly. “We really weren’t talking about anything important that night. I’m sorry it’s been on your mind this entire time, but there’s nothing else to say.”

“I know that isn’t true!” He got to his feet, his chair sliding loudly behind him. “You both know something and you’re hiding it! So, just tell me.”

Aqua winced. “I…” She trailed off.

Ven gritted his teeth. “Terra? What about you?”

He looked equally uncomfortable. “Listen, Ven, you won’t get anything out of this. Just let it go, okay? It’s better that way.”

“What?” His patience was thinning out. “How can you say that? This has something to do with my family, my /brother/, how can you two just keep that from me?”

Aqua stood up. “The things Vanitas has wrapped himself up in aren’t worth investigating; there’s nothing to be done.”

“What does that even mean? What is he wrapped up in?” He shook his head. “Just tell me!”

“I can’t!”

“Why? What are you so afraid of that you can’t tell me the truth!?” He paused, thinking back to her expression at the bonfire. His rage faded for a moment. “Is it… is it him? Did he do something? Is that why you don’t want to say anything? I-I can do something, I can settle things, talk to him--”

“It isn’t like that,” Terra said. “Or that simple.”

“Then what /is/ it?” He felt so frustrated with talking in circles that he felt like he was just going to cry or scream. Why couldn’t they just answer his questions? They both looked away, ashamed, and gave him no answer.

“Guys,” he said weakly. “Come on. Please, just say something.”

“I’m sorry,” Aqua said, steadier than he thought she would. “But we can’t.”

That was it, then. They were just going to stand there and continue to lie to him about his own family, as if they had the right, as if they could just take his choice to know the truth like that.

He shook his head, feeling broken and betrayed. “You’re both awful,” he said in practically a whisper. He turned to leave.

“Please don’t go,” Aqua said.

“Let us take you home at least,” Terra said. “Your mother doesn’t want you out by yourself still.”

“Don’t!” He snapped, momentarily turning around to glare at them. He waited a tense moment before finally leaving into the cool autumn day.

The nice weather did nothing to stop his foul mood from devolving further. He felt horrible and lonely and angered, and at the same time, completely lost. If they weren’t going to tell him, did he really think Vanitas would say a word?

He got through the door of his home to find Sora and Roxas playing a card game at the kitchen table. He drew in a sharp breath, hoping he didn’t look as flustered as he felt.  
“What’s wrong?” Sora asked, immediately filled with concern. 

So much for not worrying them. He looked to Roxas, desperately hoping he could get some real answers here. But then again, did he want to get into another fight so soon? No, he would wait for Vanitas and deal with them both at once.

“Nothing,” he said, going into their bedroom without another word. He was sure that was just going to make Sora worry more, but he needed a moment to himself to calm down. After a few minutes, he sent a text to Vanitas asking where he was, but wasn’t surprised that there was no response. 

Had he waited too long to ask about this? Would it have been easier if he demanded answers the minute his memories returned? What part of the story was he missing here?

The door gently opened as Roxas walked in. “Ven--”

“I don’t want to talk right now,” he said, sitting on the edge of his bed. “We’ll talk later, when Vanitas is here.”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand. What happened?”

“I’m sure you know more than me,” he muttered.

“What does that mean? You’re not making any sense.”

“We’ll talk later,” he repeated.

Roxas held his gaze steadily for a moment before nodding and leaving the room. Ven became too wrapped up in his thoughts and theories to step out and join his little brothers, and he anxiously waited by his phone for an answer for what felt like hours. Of course nothing came. Of course Vanitas was radio silent. What else was he expecting?

There was a knock on the door and Sora entered. “You don’t have to knock to enter our room,” Ven said.

“Didn’t know if you wanted to talk,” Sora said with a shrug. “It’s almost dinner time. Do you wanna help us pick something out?”

“It’s already that late?” He looked at the clock. “Is Vanitas back?”

“No, haven’t seen him.”

“Alright, that’s it,” he said, getting up from his bed.

“What?”

“I’m going to find him.”

“But he always comes home eventually. You said you weren’t going to go after him.”

“I know what I said, but that was before. I’m going out.” He tossed his coat on and stepped past Sora.

“I’m coming with you,” Sora said quickly, rushing to slip his shoes on.

Roxas looked up from the television in the living room. “Where are you two going?”

“To find Vanitas,” Ven said. 

His eyes widened. “You know where he is?”

“No. Do you?” he asked in an accusatory tone.

“No…”

“But you know what he’s up to?”

“I-- Ven, he does a lot of things. You were asleep for four years, things happened, and he’s different.”

He shook his head, tired of hearing excuses and not just a straight answer. “Get your coat on, you’re coming too.”

Roxas gave a helpless glance to Sora before following after the two of them, choosing wisely to remain silent and not try to make anymore excuses for Vanitas. Ven didn’t know where he was heading as the three of them set out into the night, but he knew he would find Vanitas somewhere around here. He kept calling him only to come up with no answer.  
Light rain began to fall on his face, furthering the cold air around them. He pulled Sora’s hood over his head as they walked, glancing up and down the streets for any sign of Vanitas. Now that the weather was turning bad most people were heading inside or going home. The slightest movements caught his attention.

“Roxas, do you know where he could be?” Sora asked, shoving his hands in his pocket.

He shook his head. “No, not exactly. Sorry.”

“But he’s in town, right?” Ven asked.

“He should be.”

“Then we keep looking.”

They kept walking around until shops closed up and the streets truly became vacant. The rain was getting more intense and chilly, and for a moment he feared that all he had done was run out here to get his brothers sick. Was he overreacting? Was there nothing to be worried about?

He decided it didn’t matter anymore how good the reason had been for keeping it a secret; it had dragged on too long to lend to any purpose other than deceiving him and Sora.   
He spotted movement down the road; two people. One was wearing a black hoodie and short, the other seemed taller with shockingly bright blonde hair. He squinted through the rain.

“That’s Elrena,” Roxas said.

“Then is that Vanitas with her?” Sora asked.

Even if it wasn’t, he was going to follow to see what she was up to. The three of them kept a safe pace behind the other two, and the sound of the rain helped hide their footsteps. The pair wandered further and further from the central of town he knew so well, even past the park that Roxas was always hanging out in nowadays. Sora clung to his arm as the streetlight faded and the three of them stumbled down a creep road in the dark.

Luckily up ahead there seemed to be a building of some sort, like a warehouse, and it was giving off a dim glow that allowed them to see where they were placing their feet.

“What is this place?” Roxas whispered.

Elrena and Vanitas paused outside the door of the warehouse. Ven tugged Roxas closer and out of the way of the light, holding his breath as the three of them stood by one of the many trees that crowded the place. Elrena laughed obnoxiously loud at something as they stepped inside, and then the door was shut behind them.

“It’s like a hangout,” Sora guessed. “But it’s all dark and creepy here. I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I,” said Ven.

“Are we going in?” Roxas asked.

Ven shook his head. “We don’t know who’s in there.” He was also getting creepy vibes and deeply regretting dragging these two along. He had been hoping to just find Vanitas hanging around some kids in a park, not this weird spot. 

“Ven, look.” Roxas nudged him and pointed to the windows lining the warehouse. There were a few crates nearby, though as they got closer he could tell most of them were rotten and overgrown.

Still, he used them to climb up and peer through the window into this other world. Roxas and Sora stared anxiously up at him.

“Do you see him?” Sora whispered.

Luckily, the window was slightly open, so he could also hear the activity, but he did see Vanitas. He had taken off his hood to reveal his messy black hair and was standing next to Elrena and Lauriam.

There were other people too, but he didn’t recognize them. To his surprise a lot of them were adults, and one of them was a particularly old man who approached Vanitas with a menacing intent. Everything about him just set Ven on edge.

“Vanitas, Larxene, how did it go?” the old man asked.

Larxene? Was that some sort of code name for Elrena? He leaned closer to hear their response.

“Piece of cake,” Elrena said in her normal cocky attitude. She flipped a pristine butterfly knife between her fingers and Ven’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest. What was she doing with a thing like that?

“That guy’ll be paying up what he owes,” Vanitas sneered, crossing his arms. His knuckles looked bruised. What guy were they talking about?

“As he should,” the old man said. “And what of the woman who owns the store down the street?”

Elrena shook her head. “Still refusing our offers. I don’t really think she gets just how important our kind of protection can be, you know?”

“She thinks its too expensive,” Vanitas shrugged.

“Then I suppose we will show her just how dangerous things can get without us. For now, here you are.” He reached into his coat pocket and produced two envelopes, handing one to each of them. 

“I can be on the next job,” Vanitas said as he took it and shoved it into his pocket.

“Ugh,” Elrena said. “Even I don’t work as much as you. Do you even spend time with those precious brothers of yours?”

“Fuck off.”

Lauriam rested a hand on Elrena’s shoulder. “If we’re done for the night,” he said to the old man. “We’ll be taking our leave.”

The man nodded. “Very well.”

“You should head home too, Vanitas,” Lauriam said. “The night is still young.”

Vanitas didn’t say anything, but Ven recognized that look of hidden excitement. He was /excited/ to come home. Meanwhile Ven’s horror was only growing. The old man suddenly looked straight at the window, his eyes meeting exactly with Ven’s.

He gasped and nearly fell off the crates.

“Ven!” Roxas hissed, offering out his hand. He took it gratefully and climbed off the crates. “Are you okay? What did you see?”

He searched for the words he wanted to use. “I… what is this, Roxas? Who are those people? Why… why were they talking about pay ups and offers?”

Roxas blinked at him. “Pay ups and offers? I just thought he was… oh.”

“Oh?”

He didn’t get a response because the door to the warehouse opened again, and Elrena, Lauriam and Vanitas spilled into the rainy night. He exchanged looks with Sora and Ven, the three of them once more tailing the others. They walked back into town before Lauriam and Elrena parted ways with Vanitas. To his surprise, his brother didn’t immediately start heading on the path home. He was going down another street, one populated with little stores. At the very end of the road was the place where they used to take piano lessons.

His breath caught for a moment as he saw skid marks on the road, but he didn’t know why. Roxas and Sora looked equally tense. Enough was enough; he wasn’t going to keep dragging them through the muck and dark.

“Vanitas!” he called out, rushing forth to catch him under one of the street lamps. His hood flew off, but he didn’t bother to pull it back on.

Vanitas’ eyes widened as he saw the three of them approach. “Ventus?” He looked at all of them. “What are you all doing out here? It’s a little late for one of your walks.”

“Drop the act,” Ven hissed. “And look at your phone.”

Vanitas quirked an eyebrow but did so anyway. “Your point?”

“I’ve been calling and texting you for /hours/ and not once did you respond.”

“I was busy.”

“Bullshit!” Vanitas flinched. “Busy with what, that weird little… gang thing? What the hell was that?”

He immediately looked to Roxas, who quickly shook his head and said, “I didn’t tell them anything. This is on you.”

His expression was much more guarded when he looked to Ven. “You followed me.”

“Yeah, yeah I did, and right now I’m not feeling too guilty about it because I just watched you walk into an abandoned warehouse filled with adults, Elrena flip out a knife, and both of you accept envelopes from a creepy old man /in the span of a few minutes/.”

“You shouldn’t go butting into my business,” Vanitas snapped. 

“We used to never keep secrets from each other,” Sora pointed out sternly. 

“Yeah well things change, don’t they, Sora? I don’t need to lay out my day for you all.”

“This is more than that!” Ven said. “Terra, Aqua, Roxas, no one will tell me anything. So you’re going to tell me right now.”

He scoffed. “Like you can make me.”

Roxas stepped forward. “He’s been stealing things to make money,” he said. “He’s with some sort of organization and that’s what they do. They steal things and get paid for it.”

“You’re a /thief/?” Ven said. Of all the things he had thought about, it hadn’t been this. He didn’t think one of his brothers was capable of just disregarding the law like that. So while he slept, Vanitas had just gone on to steal things for no reason?

Vanitas was glaring at Roxas, but he was quick to turn it into a smug expression. “At least get all the details right if you’re just going to out me like that.”

“What else have you been doing, then?” Roxas asked.

His look turned serious. “Whatever it takes to make ends meet, no matter who gets in the way.”

“Make ends meet?” Ven repeated. “What else could you possibly do? There’s already no way you could justify theft!”

He narrowed his eyes. “No, don’t you start that with me,” he growled. “You don’t have any right to judge what I did while you were gone. You have no fucking clue what we’ve all been through.”

“Excuse me?”

Vanitas’ hands were balled into fists. “After you were out cold and Dad died, Mom did /nothing/ to help us. She was obsessed with always being there for you even though you were fucking asleep, even though you didn’t need anybody, and left the rest of us to rot! So I had to step up. I had to find a way to get us money, food, a way to school and back while she waited for you to fucking blink.”

“She didn’t mean to be like that,” Sora said. “She was going through a lot!”

“We all were! Was that any excuse for what she did? We would have been starved and evicted if it wasn’t for me. Worse, what if someone found out, huh? What if we all got separated?”

“That wouldn’t have happened,” said Roxas in a quivering voice.

“Well I guess we’ll never know because /I’m/ the one that kept us together,” Vanitas bit back. 

“Mom wouldn’t have let that happen,” Ven cut in.

“Really? I’m sorry, Ventus, where were you those four years? Right, comatose.”

“You’re saying that like it’s my fault!”

“Oh trust me, it’s not, but this is exactly why I didn’t tell you. I knew you would be all righteous about it; you’re probably thinking there was another way or there was another answer. Well there wasn’t, and we lived through it, we’re /still/ living through it, while you sit around in this fantasy that time stopped moving for everyone the minute you checked out.” Vanitas pointed an accusing finger at him. “So I stole! So I work for criminals! Everything I do is for this family and I’ll be damned if I let you criticize me for it.”

He shook his head, unable to imagine all those years without the support of their mother. She was always there for them when they needed her, it was all he could remember.

“But that’s over now,” Ven pushed. “I’m awake, Mom is home and working and she’s with us. Who knows how much you’re risking over this when you don’t have to anymore?”

Vanitas scoffed. “You think this is over? What, was your extended hospital nap free?”

He hadn’t really thought about that. He had already put the images and memories of the hospital behind him, just so he could feel like life was back to normal.

Still, Vanitas was wrong. Maybe he had to do all of that before, but he didn’t now. Ven wouldn’t let him. “We’ll figure it out. I-I’ll work or something, but we’ll figure it out together. All this time you’ve been out here working for criminals; you could have been hurt, Vani!” All those scars he didn’t recognize were making sense now. God, what had he really been through?

“No,” he said firmly. “I’ve been doing this for years and it’ll pay way more than anything you and Mom could pick up. You all still need me, need /this/, and I’m not giving it up.”

“You’ll get yourself killed!” Roxas said. 

“I’m not stupid enough to do that,” Vanitas growled. “I know what I’m doing so just /let me do it/.” He looked desperate, almost vulnerable, like he truly believed this was their lifeline he was clinging to.

Ven shook his head, raindrops flying from his hair. “You’re breaking the law. You’re putting yourself in danger. I can’t let you continue this.”

He grimaced. “But you can’t stop me, Ventus. You’re fucked without me. You just don’t see it yet.”

He felt something widen between them, both of them pinned under the street light. This was wrong. What he was saying, what he was doing. It was wrong.

Anxiety crawled through Ven’s heart at the thought that their well being depended on Vanitas running with wolves. If he stopped him, would their family really fall apart? How many days could their mother afford on her new job?

“Why didn’t I know?” Sora asked in a soft voice. It was hard to tell if it was rain or tears running down his cheeks.

“You didn’t need to know,” Vanitas said.

“But Roxas did?”

“He wasn’t supposed to find out. None of you were. It doesn’t matter how I get the money in the end.”

“But it does!” Sora snapped. “All the times you came back late and injured or the days you missed school, all the things that could have killed you and we had no idea! How could you do that to us?”

“I was doing it /for/ you! If you want someone to be mad at be mad at Mom for failing in the one thing she had to do. She wasted her time at that hospital!”

Ven winced, feeling awash with guilt over something he couldn’t have stopped. “She thought she was doing what was right, just like you are now.”

“I don’t want to hear it from you,” Vanitas hissed. “You’ll never get it. She was always, always obsessing over you. You don’t know what it’s been like and you never will! You’ve had it fucking perfect.”

His body went rigid. “Perfect? Perfect, Vanitas? That’s the word you want to use? I lost four years of my life! I woke up to find that Dad was dead and the rest of my family is, apparently, falling apart!”

Vanitas gritted his teeth. “I didn’t mean--”

“No, no, I think you did.” His voice had fallen to a low tone. “Thanks for finally telling me how you feel, Vanitas.” He turned away, hurt and disappointment and fear bubbling in his chest. His eyes caught the skid marks on the road next to him and then the bent sign that had yet to be fix. Of course. The spot where everything had fallen apart.

“Where are you going?” Vanitas demanded.

“Home,” he answered simply. He heard light footsteps as Sora and Roxas joined him, but Vanitas didn’t budge. Fine. He didn’t even want to look at him right now.

The walk back was quiet except for the rain and when they got into the house there was no sound to cover the tension between them. Ven didn’t know what to say to Sora and Roxas, so he didn’t say anything at all, and instead changed out of his wet clothes into something drier and settled himself onto the couch, alone. He could feel Sora’s eyes on the back of his head, but neither of them spoke, and Sora and Roxas chose to go straight to bed, leaving him to his thoughts.

He stared out the dark window, wondering if he would catch a glimpse of Vanitas coming up the road and returning home. No, probably not. God, did Vanitas really think he had it perfect because he had slept through those four years? He would give anything to have been there for his family. He had missed so much, and it was more obvious now than ever. Would he ever be able to catch up?

He gave a deep, shaky inhale. Well, he couldn’t go back and fix the years he slept through, but he had to step up somehow now. He owed his family that-- and he would do anything for his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things be gettin' heated between the bros now. Ven and Vani's dynamic is gonna be so much easier to write now that there's animosity, since that's what their relationship is really like in the canon games. Hope you all liked this one~!


	10. Part 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot this on the last chapter but thank you for 1000+ hits and 100+ kudos!! I've been in a writing slump with this fic lately, but all those views and the lovely comments remind me to continue, so really, thank you! Hopefully you'll all enjoy this meandering of fluff as I slowly try to build everyone up to their proper ages for the finale...

Sora thought that Ven waking up would bring them all together and finally end the distance that was growing between them, but he was wrong. He could barely look at Vanitas without anger and betrayal flooding his heart, and Ven made things worse with his cold silence and stony expression. The two of them couldn’t be in the same room for more than a few minutes, so much so that Vanitas had taken to just sleeping on the couch if Ven was still awake when he came back. 

Sora didn’t know what to say to either of them. He should be thankful for what Vanitas had done, and he really was, but he had been lying to him about it for four years and probably would have kept lying if Ven hadn’t confronted him. Vanitas had taken care of him all those years, but at what cost? And what could he say to Ven, who had gone quiet and bitter with everyone? It shouldn’t have surprised him that Roxas took it the hardest of them all, a mix of guilt at keeping Vanitas’ secret and betrayal at not knowing it all, and mostly slept over at Lea’s place to get away.

It seemed like the smartest option was to put as much space as possible between all of them right now, until they cooled down, and so he also spent more time out of the house and with Riku or Kairi.

He tried not to let his issues with his family leak over into his friendships and keep a smile up around them, but they were perceptive, and not much slipped past them. Kairi was nice enough to let most things slide, but he always felt like Riku was judging Vanitas when he brought it up, and he didn’t want that. Riku didn’t have enough of the story to understand that Vanitas wasn’t just someone to be angry at here.

His family wasn’t far from his mind, even as he sat on Riku’s floor, mindlessly playing games with him on the shoddy little television that was allowed in his room. Luckily, it wasn’t suspicious that he was losing every round against his friend. He was like that even in a good mood.

Riku looked away from the screen for a moment and to the old Disney clock that hung on his wall. It was at a funny tilt because it was hiding a hole in the wall that Sora had accidentally put there when they were little. “Are you staying over again tonight?” Riku asked.

Sora looked to his phone, but there were no messages from his brothers. Or even his mother. “Uh, I’ve probably overstayed at this point.”

Riku shrugged. “Not really. You can stay as long as you want. You know I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, but, I dunno. Haven’t really been home in a bit. I was hanging out with Kairi all yesterday, now here today. I’m sure they’re gonna wanna see me.”

“Well, it’s up to you.” He paused. “I didn’t know you guys were hanging out yesterday. What, was she giving you studying tips for the upcoming math test? I’m still gonna score higher than you.”

“You don’t know that! Besides, we weren’t studying. We were just hanging out, normal stuff. It was kind of last minute, sorry we didn’t invite you.”

“It’s whatever,” Riku said cooly. 

It suspiciously didn’t seem like ‘whatever’, but Sora’s phone began to buzz before he could say anything. He may have answered it too eagerly but Riku didn’t say anything. He stepped out of the room to get some privacy in the hallway.

“Hello?” he said.

“Sora, where are you?” It was his mother. There was a weird sense of happiness and pride that she was calling to find where he was. He had almost felt… forgotten.

“I’m at Riku’s. Sorry, I probably should have told--”

“Is Ven with you?”

“Huh?”

“Is he there with you? He’s not in the house. He’s not supposed to leave without one of you with him, he knows that.”

Oh. She wasn’t really looking for him then. Just Ven. “He’s not with me.”

“Well do you know where he is?”

“N-no. Um, he’s probably with Ephemer.”

“Oh, that boy? Okay then, as long as he’s with someone. Call me back if you see him though, okay?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” She hung up.

Sora stared at his phone for a minute, silent. Just about Ven, huh? He shut off his phone entirely before stepping back into Riku’s room, forcing a smile on his face.

“Everything okay?” Riku asked.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all good. You sure I can stay over tonight?”

“Of course. Are you going to?”

He nodded. “I don’t think I’m gonna be missed too urgently.”

Riku glanced at him but didn’t comment on it. “Well if you’re staying, you can pick dinner.”

He perked up. “Really?” He hadn’t had much of a decision on dinner since Vanitas started to be the one who stocked the fridge. 

“As long as you help my mom and I make it, of course.”

“Obviously!”

Riku’s mom was one of the sweetest people that Sora knew, and she made cooking dinner into more of a game than a chore. He laughed with the two of them and was at ease, and when they sat down to eat it was together, like he was a part of their small family for a moment. He hadn’t realized how much he missed this with his own family, but how could he ask them to settle down for a family dinner together after everything? He was happy in Riku’s house, but it left him feeling hollow, too.

Sora shared Riku’s bed when they went to sleep, as he had been doing every time he had come to sleep over through the years, but he couldn’t fall asleep right away. He was itching to turn his phone on to see if there were messages, but he knew there would be none, and he didn’t want to deal with that disappointment. Just how long could he be away from home before someone asked for him?

“Stop moving so much,” Riku grumbled as Sora turned over again.

“Sorry,” he whispered, trying to keep as still as possible. He shut his eyes and tried to force some semblance of sleep to come, but he was just left uncomfortable and feeling confined. It didn’t help that they were both starting to get a bit too big to share this bed.

He let out a small sigh, but it was enough to make Riku sit up and look at him questioningly. “What’s wrong?” he asked. Despite having been lying down, his hair looked perfectly maintained, while Sora was sure he already had a terrible bed head as he sat up. Stupid Riku and his stupid perfect hair.

“Just can’t sleep,” Sora said with a shrug. 

Riku yawned. “You’re probably thinking too much about something. You can tell me.”

“You already know,” he said absently. “Family stuff.”

“Was it one of your brothers who called you today?”

He shook his head. “It was my mom. She was just looking for Ven.”

“Not you?”

“No, not me.”

“Sora--”

“But it’s fine! See, I got to stay here, which is so much more fun than sitting at home.”

“You can stay here as long as you need,” Riku said. He looked shy for a moment and glanced away. “I mean, it’s nice when you’re here, and my mom likes you a lot. So stay as long as you want.”

Sora couldn’t help letting his smile widen. All he wanted was to /be/ wanted, or at least missed, and he could get that from his friends. “Thanks, Riku.”

He shrugged. “Just tryin’ to get you to go to sleep.”

“Right, right,” he said smugly as he put his head back on the pillow. He focused on the memories of being here at Riku’s house instead of his own, and found that sleep finally came to him.

He spent most of his time bouncing between school and being at Riku’s or Kairi’s, but he never stayed away from home for long. When Christmas rolled around, he didn’t know what to expect. Would Vanitas even show up? Would their mom actually be engaged with them?

He hated waking up that morning and not feeling the normal thrill that came with every Christmas morning. It had been severely dampened before because of how close it was to the day of the accident, and he had been expecting it to be the best Christmas yet because Ven was finally awake, but he didn’t know if it would now live up to that expectation.  
He laid in bed, knowing Ven and Roxas weren’t early risers and not knowing if Vanitas was even asleep in his top bunk. He was probably somewhere else. Somewhere dangerous. Just thinking about it scared him half to death. 

The bed above him creaked and he slightly leaned his head over the edge to see Roxas was looking down at him with sleepy eyes. “Merry Christmas,” he whispered, yawning.  
“Merry Christmas!” he answered chipperly. Well, things had gotten pretty awful here, but he knew he had to make it as good a Christmas as he could.

Roxas smiled lazily. “I bet you didn’t sleep a wink last night, as always.”

“Actually, I was sound all the way through, but I heard /you/ tossing and turning!”

He rolled his eyes. “Sure it wasn’t reindeer on rooftops?”

“Like I still believe in that!”

“I bet you still would if Riku hadn’t rained on your parade.”

“Not true!” Well, maybe. His belief had been pretty firm before Riku shook it up. He slowly pulled himself out of bed and stretched his arms. Now that he was standing he could see Vanitas’ bed was empty and Ven was still in a deep sleep, curled around his plethora of pillows.

Roxas reached over from his bed to poke the top of Sora’s head. “It smells like something is cooking,” he said.

“Mom, maybe?” he said hopefully. She hadn’t cooked Christmas breakfast for them in a long time. She just might now that Ven was awake.

“I hope,” Roxas said. “You gonna wake him?” He asked, pointing to Ven.

“Leave it to me!” Sora said as if it was a behemoth of a task, because it was. Ven reputation for being hard to wake had only increased over time. Roxas left him to it to probably stare at their mother cooking until breakfast was actually ready.

Sora kneeled by Ven’s bed and gently nudged his shoulder. “Ven, wake up!” His brother only gave an annoyed groan and turned away. “It’s Christmas morning and breakfast is being made, you gotta get up!” No response.

He could just yank one of the many blankets he was sleeping on from under him. Rolling onto the floor would probably wake him up. He grabbed one of the blankets and tugged, but Ven held on with a force he wasn’t expecting, and he just ended up slipping and falling over.

“Geez!” He cried out from the floor. “Ouch…”

“Huh?” Ven lifted his head from his pillow, his hair sticking up in crazy directions. He rubbed sleep out of his eyes and looked at Sora. “What’re you doin’ down there?”

“Trying to wake you up! Oh, and Merry Christmas!”

Awareness seemed to return to him. “Right! Merry Christmas, Sora.” He threw his blankets and pillows off like he was emerging from the most comfortable looking cocoon and offered Sora a hand so he could stand. He took it, still somewhat floored that he could finally spend Christmas with his eldest brother again. It made his throat tighten.

As soon as Ven was on his own two feet Sora was quick to give him a hug. “Whoa, what’s this for?” Ven asked, not hesitating to hug him back despite his question.

“Just happy you get to spend it with us again.”

He relaxed. “Me too.”

When they left the bedroom, Sora had been fully expecting to see his mother cooking for them. Instead, he walked in on the oddest scene of his mother and Roxas sitting at the kitchen counter while Vanitas was preparing what looked like pancakes. He exchanged confused glances with Ven before joining his family.

“Morning,” Vanitas muttered. He served up the pancakes to them all a few seconds later and dramatically flourished his hands out. “Merry Christmas.”

“Wow!” Sora said. “These look really good!”

"I didn’t know you could cook,” Ven noted innocently, looking equally excited about the food.

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of things you don’t know,” Vanitas said with more bite. Ven glared at him.

“Thanks for making them,” Roxas cut in quickly. Sora looked to their mother to gauge her reaction, but the small bit of tension seemed to go right over her head. As always.  
Vanitas shrugged, and they all began to eat their breakfast in silence. Sora would have liked a little more talking, but that might lead to more arguing, so he figured silence was a good thing for now. 

“You can all open presents when you’re done eating,” their mother said, smiling.

He looked to Roxas, who seemed equally surprised. Did that mean she had gotten them all something? She was finally in a stable job and was more present with them, so maybe she was coming closer to the mother they remembered from when they were little. He tried not to show how excited he was, because he wasn’t a little kid anymore, and he really shouldn’t get that hyped up about Christmas presents.

But it was /nice/ to gather around their lonely little Christmas tree with (mostly) everyone here, with him seated between Ven and Vanitas on the floor and Roxas always being the first to open a present. With them all together, it made the vacancy of their father a little more bearable.

He was pleasantly surprised that a few of his presents were indeed from his mother, filled with the sorts of things that mothers found necessary for their sons like scarves and mittens. The other presents were simply marked ‘from Santa’, so those were obviously from Vanitas, and his presents were a little more personal, like the pirate ship in a bottle he got. It was awesome and he already had a spot on one of their shelves planned out for it. 

He pensively watched Ven unwrap his gift from Vanitas. It wasn’t a shock that Vanitas got him one even though they still weren’t on speaking terms, but he had no idea what he could have decided to get him. Ven pulled back the simple silver wrapping to reveal… a pillow. For what it was worth, it looked like one of those more fancy and expensive pillows that was advertised to help with a more sound sleep.

Vanitas leaned against the base of the couch with his hands behind his head. “Another for the collection,” he said coyly.

“Thanks,” Ven answered in a dry tone, but Sora saw the tiny smile on his face as he squished the pillow between his fingers. He knew they would all work through this somehow.   
Ven, Roxas and their mother quickly fell into conversation, reminiscing about the last Christmas they had all spent together. Sora turned to Vanitas with bright eyes.

“What is it?” Vanitas asked suspiciously.

He threw his arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug as an answer. Vanitas stiffened but didn’t push him away. “Thank you,” Sora said.

“Uh huh.”

He pulled back from the hug, his hands still resting on Vanitas’ shoulders. “And… thank you.”

“Is that supposed to be different from the last?”

“Yeah. That one’s for everything. I don’t… I don’t want you to be doing what you are.” He kept his voice low so the others wouldn’t pay attention to them. “I don’t want you to be out there hurting yourself for us. But thank you for taking care of us. I wish that I could’ve done something to help, that I didn’t /need/ someone to take care of me--”

“You’re a kid,” Vanitas said cooly. “Of course you needed someone to take care of you.”

“But you were a kid, too. When this all started.”

He looked away. “Someone had to step up.”

“I wish no one had to.”

“Yeah, well, it is what it is, and things don’t get easier by wishing they were different.” His gaze slid over to their mother, who laughed unaware of the mess she had made.

“I want to help,” Sora said.

“What?”

“If I can, I want to help!”

“You can’t, and you won’t,” Vanitas said sharply. “Just don’t get yourself into any trouble and you’ll be helping plenty.”

Sora pouted, already knowing that the answer was going to be no. To be honest, he didn’t think he’d be able to handle it if the answer had miraculously been a yes. Still, there had to be something he could do to lighten the load. He wasn’t old enough to work yet, so he really didn’t know what to do. Maybe Riku or Kairi would have some ideas.

Vanitas ruffled his hair as if to ease his worries before getting up to throw out all the wrapping paper that was strewn about. Sora sighed, but a small weight was lifted at being able to speak to Vanitas casually. He didn’t feel like he had to dodge around him now.

“Sora!” Roxas’ call snapped him out of his thoughts. He slid in next to him on the floor, holding his phone out. “Xion’s calling, say hi!”

He smiled. They’d piece this all together, somehow. He knew they would.

 

 

 

Ven sighed as he looked over more history work with Ephemer at the library. He liked Ephemer a lot, but his tutoring was nothing compared to Aqua’s. Too bad he had burned that bridge and had no idea how to rebuild it. He still felt guilty for snapping at her and Terra like that, and when he saw them around in town he had to look away, too ashamed.  
“You look a little burned out,” Ephemer said. “We can take a break.”

Ven closed his book and stretched his arms out. “Oh, thank God.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is getting so frustrating.”

“You’ll catch up eventually. Just be patient with yourself.”

“I know, I know. Eventually, I’m gonna get that high school diploma. But I’m going to be seventeen soon and it just feels like I should move on or give up. I dunno. All this relearning was easier when it wasn’t the /only/ thing I was doing.” Besides studying, all he did with himself was worry about Vanitas and then worry about money.

Ephemer frowned. “There’s no pressure to do this if you don’t want to do this, but it kind of sounds like you need something else to do. A hobby?”

"A job.”

He chuckled. “Fair enough.”

“But where do I start looking?” He could ask his mom, but she had just started to give him a little more freedom since it had been almost a year since he woke up. He felt like if he went to her asking for help she would just put the shackles right back on.

“Hmm. I might know a place that’s hiring. Come on,” he said, packing up his books. “I’ll show you.”

Ven eagerly followed, glad to be out of the stiff confines of the library. He had never been much of a book person, to be honest. It was damp outside and a little cool as the last bits of winter began to let go and give into spring. Ephemer guided him through their quiet town to a little hole in the wall called Ava’s Dandelions of all things. He stepped in only to find that it was a quaint flower shop with colorful blooms on every shelf.

A sweet young woman looked up from the book she was reading. “Hello, Ephemer. Who’s this?”

“This is Ven. Ven, this is Miss Ava. She owns the store, as I’m sure you figured out.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” Ven said with a smile. “This is a really pretty store. I’ve never seen so many kinds of flowers before.”

“Thank you,” she said. “Did you bring him for shopping?” she asked Ephemer with a tilt of her head.

“Actually, it’s about that job you offered me. I can’t take it, but maybe Ven could?”

He blinked at him. He didn’t think that the job had been offered to Ephemer first! He hoped that Ephemer was being honest about not being able to take the job.

Ava looked Ven over. “Hmm. You don’t mind selling flowers for me while I’m out?”

“It sounds simple.”

“Well, it is. I don’t mind handing the job over at all, as long as you show up.”

“Of course!” He already liked the little shop. It was quiet and not too overwhelming, plus it was far from the street so he didn’t have to stress out about the noise of cars constantly whipping past him all the time. 

Ephemer smiled at him. “And just like that, you have a job!”

“But how long were you sitting on this?”

He shrugged. “Not too long, but you need it much more than me.”

“Ephemer!”

“It’s not a big deal! Skuld wanted to find a summer job with me anyway, so this is probably for the best. I’ll stop by a lot, too, promise.” 

Ven chuckled. He’d probably have to start memorizing flower names and stuff now. Suddenly, he was reminded of the flowers Aqua always left for him while he was at the hospital. He missed hanging out with her and Terra so much, but how was he supposed to approach them?

Late that day, when he was at home, he was surprised to find Vanitas hanging out with Sora in the living room. There was always a steady relief at seeing Vanitas at home, a sort of satisfaction that he was safe and not out there doing something crazy, but then there was also the tension that came with the fact that he wasn’t saying much to him these days. He yearned for the days when they shared everything and their relationship wasn’t complicated, but those were gone, and he had a harder time forgiving Vanitas for the lying than he did Aqua and Terra.

“Hey Ven,” Sora said, turning and waving at him. 

“Hey Sora.”

“What were you up to today?”

“Studying with Ephemer.” Vanitas still hadn’t turned around to look at him. He frowned. “I got a job.”

Sora tilted his head. “You did? You’re gonna be working?” Now Vanitas was looking, but he still was being pretty silent. 

“Yeah,” Ven said. “With Ephemer’s help. It’s a little flower shop, and I probably won’t be working enough to make much of a difference, but it’ll give us something and it’ll get me out of the house.”

Vanitas scoffed. “You sure Mom is gonna let you take it?”

He crossed his arms. “I’m sure she doesn’t mind /honest work/. You know, a reliable source of income that doesn’t involve me doing anything stupid or dangerous.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you’ll make a pretty penny selling some pansies.” Ven gritted his teeth.

Roxas walked out of the bedroom in that moment and looked between the two of them with a bored expression. Even Sora looked a little exasperated.

“What’s the name of the flower shop?” Sora asked before Ven could respond to Vanitas. 

“Ava’s Dandelions. I don’t really remember it being there before, but it’s nice.”

“Oh, I think I’ve seen it before! I’ve definitely seen Strelitzia and Lauriam in there a few times. I hope you don’t get too bored just selling flowers.”

“Selling flowers?” Roxas asked as he joined them.

“I got a job,” Ven explained.

He blinked. “Really? But aren’t you busy with all the studying?”

“I can’t just spend my days studying. I’m almost seventeen now, so I should probably start doing the things that seventeen year olds do.”

“I just-- nevermind.” Roxas looked deeply bothered for some reason.

“What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. Hope it’s fun.”

Ven frowned but let it go. Hopefully, Roxas would come to him if he really had to something to say. After all, he still liked to think he was an approachable big brother to them, right?

 

 

 

 

Roxas walked down the street with his skateboard tucked under his arm and Isa and Lea on either side of him. He hadn’t really been present when they were skateboarding in the park and it was only half way through walking that he realized they had left to get some ice cream, but neither of them pointed it out. He kicked at a rock in his way and watched it sail into the road.

“Whoa, what’d that rock ever do to you?” Lea said.

“Sorry,” Roxas said with a huff. “Just thinkin’ about stuff.”

“Yeah, I noticed, but I didn’t wanna say anything. You wanna talk about it?”

He shrugged. He tried not to pour all of his problems on Lea and Isa as much as he could. In the past, he could just go to Sora or Vanitas, but when it felt like all of his brothers were on ice, there was nothing he could say.

“So,” he began. “The other day Ven told us he got a job. At a flower shop or something.”

“Ava’s Dandelions?” Isa offered.

“Yeah, that’s the one. And he said it was because he’s almost seventeen, so he should do what people his age do, and I guess it just kind of bothered me.”

“Why would that bother you? He’s got a point. Plus it’s nice to have some pocket change,” Lea said.

“Because he isn’t /really/ almost seventeen. I mean, is he?”

“I suppose he might not be,” said Isa. “But Ven has always been mature for his age, if I remember correctly. With the way you describe him, it seems as if he was able to be a good older brother to you all even when you were little.”

“Well, he was -- is. But I dunno, it’s kind of upsetting, because he’s never going to get to be thirteen or fourteen or fifteen and suddenly he’s /almost/ seventeen and I feel like we’ve just… lost so much. We’re never gonna get those years back.”

“But look at all those years you guys have ahead of you!” Lea pointed out. “I mean, aren’t those important, too?”

“Of course they are. But we changed in those years he was asleep, and I bet things would be easier now if he had been there with us while we changed. Ugh, I bet him and Vanitas wouldn’t be arguing so much.”

“So is that what this is really about?” Isa asked. “Their arguing.”

“It’s about all of it, but I really wish they would stop. I should have never kept Vanitas’ secret, and I’m still mad that he kept other things from us, but at least I can hold a conversation with him.” He shook his head. “Ven just can’t understand why Vanitas would do what he does, and Vanitas doesn’t know how to /not/ say the first terrible thing that comes to mind.”

“Sounds rough,” said Lea. He paid for their ice creams at the small shop and handed one to each of them. “But they’ll probably work through it. It sounds like they both have a bit of growing to do.”

“Wish they’d do it faster…” Roxas muttered before biting into his ice cream. Sea salt ice cream never got old, and one of these days he was going to meet up with Xion again and share some with her, just like when they were little. 

The three of them carried on walking through town, taking the little roads and back alleys that they were so familiar with now. Roxas paused, caught off guard by a wall tag that hadn’t been there before. Vanitas’ group, maybe?

“What’re you looking at?” Lea asked, following his line of sight to the tag. “Oh, that. Man, no style or class. Looks like something Isa would create.”

Isa narrowed his eyes. “Coming from an art aficionado, I presume?”

“Oh yeah! Come on, you know how good I am at this stuff.”

Roxas tilted his head. “Wait, what? You do graffiti?”

“Sometimes. A lot of it gets washed off the buildings, but as long as I remember it, then it doesn’t really matter.”

“But isn’t it, oh I don’t know, illegal?”

“Yeah, but since when were you a goody two shoes?”

He rolled his eyes. “I just didn’t think you got up to that sort of stuff.”

“Only occasionally. You know, I have a feeling you’d be pretty good at it, actually.”

“Me?” He’d never put much thought into art stuff like that. “I’m not sure. But it sounds kind of fun.” It also sounded like the kind of thing that would really piss off Ven if he found out. Of course, he’d never find out if Roxas could help it.

“Lemme know if you wanna try,” Lea said.

“Alright then. I think I will.” It was nothing if not intriguing.

 

 

 

Vanitas woke up with a start. His heart was beating violently in his chest and his entire body ached as if he had been stiff for hours. He sighed, forcing himself to relax, and looked over at the clock in the bedroom to see it was half past two in the afternoon. The room was empty of his brothers in an almost eerie manner, though he was sure that at least Sora was right outside the door relaxing in the living room or kitchen. He stared at the pale and chipped ceiling to try and clear the images of his nightmare from appearing everytime he blinked.

It had been a few months since he had such a vivid nightmare about the accident. His nightmares were never really perfect replicas of his memories, and so there was always this added anxiety at not knowing how the situation would end. But some things were always the same. Like seeing Ven’s still form in front of him, his body slumped awkwardly to the side and blood running down the side of his head from some wound that his hair hid. Or his father, completely mutilated by the impact, never to draw breath.

He picked up his phone, the screen blinding him momentarily and chasing away the last thoughts of the nightmare. There were texts from Lauriam of all people waiting for him. Asking to meet up at one of those posh cafes he was always in.

He glanced around the empty room. Well, there was nothing keeping him here today, and his curiosity had been piqued. He tossed on clothes that weren’t drenched from cold sweats and headed out the door into the late spring day.

He kind of saw the appeal of that stupid little skateboard Roxas was always riding around on. It made getting around so much easier and it looked less dumb than a bike. Though, now that Vanitas was getting older and had turned sixteen in early winter, he was considering something cool like a motorcycle as his transport. That way, he could get far out of this town without worrying about not making it back in time if something happened.

Distantly, he heard the whistle of the train as it departed its station on the other side of town. God, sometimes he wished he could hop on that train and take it to its end to start up somewhere new. He would never have to see his mother’s face or deal with Xehanort’s iron grip on his life and the mess he had gotten himself into nearly five years ago. He’d take his brothers, of course, even if he had to drag Ven kicking and screaming. Wherever they went, Vanitas knew he could take care of them. He would just find a better way to do it next time.

A tiny squeal broke his train of thought. He looked down to see a silver tabby was meowing at him. It had round blue eyes and thin fur, but no collar. The minute he stopped walking it rubbed up against his leg, constantly making noise.

“Chirithy!” A familiar voice called out. Ven popped out of the store he was standing in front of, a scowl on his face. He blinked at Vanitas. “Oh, Vani? I wasn’t expecting you here.”  
Vanitas glanced behind him at the sign to the store. Ava’s Dandelions. So this was the place he was working at. “Is taking care of a cat part of the job description?” He asked.  
Ven shook his head. “No, Miss Ava says he’s just a stray that hangs around, but I’ve been feeding him on my breaks. He seems to like you.”

Vanitas kneeled down so he could give the tabby a proper scratch behind the ears. “I’m good with cats,” he said. Dogs, not so much.

“So… where are you headed?” Ven asked, unable to mask the suspicion in his voice.

Vanitas withheld the urge to roll his eyes. “I’m about to go hold three guys at gunpoint until they give me the ransom money I asked for,” he sneered.

Ven’s eyes widened and he grimaced.

Vanitas straightened back out. “I’m meeting up with friends,” he admitted with less attitude. Ven still looked like he believed the former statement was true. Honestly, it was more believable than Vanitas having friends in the first place. He wasn’t sure what Lauriam was to him, but friend was probably too close to be the right word.

"Okay then,” Ven said. There was an unspoken and begrudging ‘stay safe’ that lingered between them as Vanitas went on to the cafe, bidding goodbye to his brother and the stray cat.

It was too much to wish for that Elrena wouldn’t be there with Lauriam when he arrived, but he shouldn’t have expected anything less. Those two were attached at the hip for reasons he couldn’t comprehend.

“Ugh, took you long enough,” Elrena said. 

“Shut up /Larxene/,” he said. He turned to Lauriam. “What is it? Why did you want to see me?”

Lauriam casually sipped his coffee like they had all the time in the world before answering. “Xehanort has given us another mission for tonight.”

“Tonight? Well then why the hell are we meeting right now?”

Lauriam set his coffee down. “I thought we could spend the day spending some quality time together.”

Vanitas raised an eyebrow. “And why would I want to do that?”

“Well, I always see you bounce between work and home, with little time for fun. I thought we could hang out a bit before heading in for the dirty work.”

Normally, Vanitas would be appalled by the idea of anyone wanting to hang out with him. He had very delicately built up the persona of a cold and angry loner who didn’t want to be bothered /because/ he was a cold and angry loner who didn’t want to be bothered.

Elrena clicked away on her phone. “Look, even I think you could use a day out of town, and I try not to think about you at all if I can help it.”

He crossed his arms. Despite himself, he knew it was good to have synergy with the people who he worked with. Sometimes, their lives depended on each other. And Elrena was at least a manageable presence as long as Lauriam was there.

“Fine then,” he conceded.

Elrena’s eyes widened. “That was suspiciously easy. I expected more of a hissy fit. Guess I owe you that ten, Lauriam.”

“You /bet/ on it?” Vanitas growled.

“Guess you do,” Lauriam said, getting up. “Come on, then. We aren’t gaining any sunlight.”

Sometimes, Vanitas took on jobs that made him leave their small town, but these jobs were often coupled with the older people of the group since they actually had cars. So he was rather grateful to learn that at some point Lauriam had learned to drive and had a car of his own, a posh little thing that a teenager probably didn’t have any right to own.  
There was always a small tick in Vanitas’ anxiety when he got in a car, one he was sure he’d never shake, but it eased away as Lauriam rolled down the windows and let the sweet spring air filter through the car. Of course Vanitas was left to the backseat while Elrena called shotgun, but he kind of enjoyed it, because he could lean against the side of the car and close his eyes to let the wind blow over his face without risking either of them looking at him. Elrena was too busy texting away on her phone, anyway.

He was content with just driving around in silence, but it was barely half an hour before they arrived at their location. They were a few towns over now at one of the large malls this area was known for.

“Shopping,” he noted blandly as he stepped out of the car.

“Duh,” Elrena said. “Shopping makes everyone feel better. I mean, what else are you gonna spend all this cash we’re earning on?”

Useful things like food, he thought bitterly. It didn’t surprise him that Elrena dragged them to the most expensive stores first to harshly criticize half the stock before ogling the designer purses.

Vanitas crossed his arms and looked to Lauriam. “So is this what you two always do with your money?”

“We’re fortunate enough to not have to spend on necessities, but simple wants.”

God, he hated that knowing look in his eyes. “Hmph. You know, I’m still pissed at you for helping Aqua last summer.”

“You certainly hold grudges.”

Momentarily, he thought of Ven’s long lasting aggression towards him. “It runs in the family.”

“I think I’ve said my part on the subject enough, but she would have found out one way or another. She’s very dedicated to her friends. I just gave her a reason to not go looking for our organization directly.”

“Still annoyed,” Vanitas grumbled. If Aqua hadn’t found out, then Ven would have no reason to be mad at her and Terra, and he wouldn’t be so mopey. He could hardly believe that they just let it be for so long, too. Neither of them had reached out to Ven, couple of cowards that they were.

“Understandable,” Lauriam conceded. 

“Ugh, let’s move on to another store,” Elrena cut in with a scowl on her face. “Nothing here is worth a penny.”

Vanitas and Lauriam followed her around the mall. It was mostly empty, thankfully, and they didn’t have to talk over the roar of a crowd as the three of them carried on.  
“You should pick up something new for yourself,” Lauriam said to him.

“I’m really just here for the ride.”

He frowned. “You know, when I first joined you guys, I used to spend a lot of my money on whatever Strelitzia wanted, and mostly I still do. But it never hurts to take some time for yourself.”

“Yeah, get yourself some decent clothes for once,” Elrena said. “Maybe a hair brush, too.”

“At least I don’t look like some 80s greaser with my hair slicked back like that.”

She rolled her eyes, not rising to the bait for once. “Why not get, like, a cooler jacket than that old hoodie?” She was already hunting around the stores for something she found suitable to her tastes for him. He let her, knowing well that he was definitely not going to buy anything she recommended.

Lauriam looked at the tired faces of the retail workers they passed by. “Say, Vanitas, do you have any plans after all this?”

“Just the job and going home.”

“No, I mean after all /this/. Xehanort and his gang. Something you plan on doing? I know Ven grabbed that job at Ava’s Dandelions. What about you?”

He blinked. That wasn’t something he thought about too heavily. “Well, why would I stop? I’m making way more than these poor saps.” Besides, Xehanort needed him, whether he admitted it or not. Vanitas was his most reliable member.

“You’re going to eventually move on with your life, aren’t you? Xehanort will always find someone new anyway. Oh.” He paused. “That reminds me, I meant to tell you earlier, but I’ve been noticing Lea and Isa’s growing interest in our group. You ought to know, since Roxas hangs out with them.”

“They better fucking not be.” Now he had to deal with them? “I’ll just deal with it, then.”

Lauriam chuckled. “Have a little mercy on them. They aren’t exactly diving head first into a life of hard crime.”

“They should know better than to even /think/ about that stuff with Roxas hanging around them.” Why couldn’t his brother just make normal friends in his own grade? It couldn’t be that hard.

Lauriam didn’t comment, probably knowing how protective Vanitas could get of his youngest sibling. 

“Hey,” Elrena said, drawing their attention. “If you’re done talking about how you’re going to bully your brother’s friends, come check this out.” She had pulled a black jacket off its hanger to show it to him. “Buy it,” she demanded.

Instinctively, he wanted to object to anything Elrena told him to do, but it was actually a nice looking jacket. 

Lauriam nudged him. “Might as well.”

‘Might as well’ wasn’t a philosophy Vanitas followed too often, but definitely one he would get behind if he could help it. “Fuck it,” he said after a moment’s contemplation. The price was probably stupid for something like this, but he bought it anyway, and felt a little better about himself after.

He didn’t necessarily loosen up when it came to either Elrena or Lauriam, but it /was/ nice to talk to people who weren’t wrapped up in the drama of his home life. Even with their impending job looming a few hours away, he was able to have a bit of fun, take a moment to himself, and enjoy a moment.

Of course, the minute it was time to get to work, all friendliness faded from the three of them. This was about intimidation, about getting people to pay insurance that protected them from the unmentionable threats that the three of them could become. This was fun in its own right for Vanitas. Showing off, teasing, being cruel; he knew he should have hated every part of it, but he didn’t. He’d been doing this for so long, almost over five years, that it had just eased itself into a status of enjoyment.

It was probably wrong to enjoy these kinds of things, but there was no one to tell him otherwise. And he quite liked it that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall have no idea how hard I was trying to avoid having a Christmas scene in this fic because it's April and I Dont Roll Like That but I couldn't *not* have Ven's first Christmas after waking up be written out. Also I'm not sure who I would want as a friend more, the "heres a job i found for you" Ephemer, or the "i'm gonna take you out shopping for fun" Lauriam. Both? Both is good.


	11. Part 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter featuring more of me trying to fluff up the fic until we hit the climax ^^'

Roxas was only twelve, but sometimes when he was dealing with his family, he felt like an exhausted eighty year old man counting down the days to his retirement. He sighed and sunk into the couch, hoping it would swallow him up, while Ven and Vanitas argued with each other for what must have been the third time that week.

“Just quit already! This is ridiculous!” Ven said as he gestured to the bruise covering Vanitas’ entire left cheek. It looked terrible, blooming an ugly yellow and turning bluer by the minute.

“Stop acting like a bruise is actually dangerous,” Vanitas snapped. “Some people aren’t as /squishy/ as you.”

“It’s a bruise now, and what, a deep wound later? I should have never let you continue this when I found out!”

“Like you can control anything I do, Ventus!”

Roxas refrained from rolling his eyes and looked to Sora, who sat next to him. Sora looked between the two of them like he was watching a tense ping pong match. Everytime they argued his older brother was immediately gripped with nerves and worry even though they threatened the same things and talked in circles about the same topic. Roxas had stopped being worried for them the third argument around and was starting to just get more and more fed up.

They got so caught up with each other that it was easy to just slip right out of the living room without either of them noticing. He felt bad the minute he stepped outside and into the quiet day, but only because he knew he should be caring more. Then again, Ven was practically freaking out over nothing. Vanitas had come home with far worse even after he woke up.

He sent a quick text to Isa and Lea to see if they wanted to meet up. It was late summer now and they were getting ready for their junior year, but sometimes they could wiggle out a few hours to hang out with him. Isa less so, because he actually had a life outside of learning to skateboard, eating sea salt ice cream and watching them graffiti the sides of old buildings, but Lea was usually available. 

He hopped on his skateboard and headed out, waiting for an answer, to their usual spot. The park was normally empty, except for the days that Hayner, Pence and Olette showed up to sometimes hang out with them, but he was glad for their absence today as he arrived. The little hobby he had taken up of public street art wasn’t exposed to them yet, mostly because he knew he had to keep it contained or Ven would find out. And he /so/ did not need Ven to get on his case like that.

He hid his supplies in the abandoned shed that sat just outside the boundaries of the park. They weren’t entirely his, of course, but they still felt like something he owned, which was nice. He had been hesitant to join in Lea’s hobby. Vanitas had been about his age when he fell too deep into that gang, after all. But he figured there was a big difference between street art and stealing, and it got him out of the house if nothing else, so he carried on feeling less guilt about it than he thought he would.

He thought he was pretty good at finding isolated spots to do his work, too. He had learned more about this small town searching for these spots in the past few months than he had in all the years he lived here. There was a small gap between a row of mostly abandoned shops on the southside of town that he had set up at a few times, including today. His mural wasn’t exactly a masterpiece, he knew that, but it was fun and he was putting a lot of time into it, so he was proud.

It was easy to lose himself in this sort of stuff, the hum of the spray can and the extensive minutes spent taking a step back to stare at his work. Lea worked on it too, and it felt like a union of their odd friendship everytime he looked at it. Unfortunately, neither of them were as talented as, say, Namine, so he was sure it looked like a bit of a mess to the outside eye.

He looked at his phone. No answer from Lea, and he had already spent almost half an hour out here. Well, it might just end up being one of those days where he was by himself. He was about to call Xion so he could talk to her while he worked when he heard footsteps nearby. Immediately he was on edge, but there wasn’t anything nearby to hide himself or his supplies.

“Roxas?” It was Vanitas, of all people. “Geez, what the fuck are you doing in this weird spot?”

“Um?” More importantly, how did Vanitas find him?

He had his hands in the pockets of that cool jacket he bought back in spring, the one that Roxas was definitely going to steal and wear when he was taller, and that coupled with the bruise on his cheek really made him look like some menace to society. 

Vanitas looked between the graffiti and Roxas holding a half empty can of spray paint a few times, his eyes narrowing. “What. What is this,” he said as more of a statement than a question.

Roxas shrugged awkwardly, feeling like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “What’s it, uh, what’s it look like to you?”

“Fucking /wall tags/, Roxas? What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He was instantly dropping into the tone he had used with Ventus. “I came out here to find you because I saw you walk out while I was talking to Ven--”

“Arguing with Ven.”

“--and you’re out here doing illegal shit?”

“Hey! It isn’t illegal shit, it’s /art/.”

“First of all, don’t curse. Second, it’s illegal art.”

Roxas crossed his arms and glared at Vanitas. “You can’t judge me for this kind of stuff when you’re out there looking like that! Ugh, I didn’t come out here just so I could hear more arguing.”

“What I do and what you’re doing here are completely different. You’re twelve!”

“So? You were twelve when you started all of that! Besides, it’s only illegal if I get caught, and I’m very good at not getting caught.”

“Okay, but the day you inevitably get caught because you hang out with dumbasses like Lea, what’re you gonna do? You gonna pay that fine? Or is it just going to fall on me, like everything else does?”

Roxas gulped. “No! Not everything falls on you anyway. I could just ask Ven or Mom!”

Vanitas gave him a deadpan look. Fair. There was no way he was telling either of those people about this. “Roxas--”

“I’m not hurting anyone! I’m not in danger! Just let me have /this/, please.” Roxas didn’t have a lot of friends, and he didn’t have a lot of hobbies, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had so much fun doing something. It wasn’t fair that Vanitas thought he could just barge in like this and call the cavalry.

Vanitas stared at him for a moment, expression softening. He looked back at the mural. “Why are you even doing this?” He asked in a quieter voice.

“Because it’s fun?” Roxas said. “I-I just like doing it.” For as few hobbies as Roxas had, he knew Vanitas had even less. Tentatively, he offered out the spray can he was still holding. “Try it with me.”

“What?”

“Just try it.”

Vanitas took it from him and looked to a blank spot. Roxas picked up another can so he could continue working, giving Vanitas a moment to figure something out. When he looked back over, he had no clue what little disaster Vanitas had painted on the wall, but his brother looked proud and like he might let him off the hook for this.

“See?” Roxas said. “Not exactly dangerous.”

Vanitas sighed. “I’m not stupid. I know you’re not going to break a wrist doing this stuff.” He took a step back to look at the whole mural. “So you better not get caught.”

“I won’t, promise. Just… don’t tell Ven and Sora.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He looked back and forth at the empty street that the alley led out into. “But I think I’ll stick around. Just for a bit.”

He probably wasn’t too eager to get back home to more of Ven’s yelling. “Okay, but, will you answer something?”

He looked at him suspiciously. “What?”

“What exactly happened?” He pointed to his bruised cheek.

Vanitas shrugged. “Same shit that always happens. A slip up. A misstep.”

Roxas shuddered, trying not to think what a slip up or a misstep could look like if it involved a knife instead of a fist. There was still a bit of awe that Vanitas had been doing all this for them, but he was starting to wonder if Vanitas was lying to himself now. With both Ven and their mother working, the latter of which definitely got paid above minimum wage, did they really need him sneaking around and doing things like that?

He didn’t bring it up. “You should ice it,” he said.

“I know what to do about a bruise,” Vanitas grumbled. He sat himself down on the wall opposite the mural to watch Roxas work. It wasn’t the same as when Isa watched him work, mostly because Isa was more focused on toying with Lea, but he didn’t feel any pressure from it either.

“So how’s Xion doing?” Vanitas asked away. Roxas glanced back at him to see he was texting someone on his phone.

“She’s fine,” he answered. “She’s been calling more. Complaining about the lack of sea salt ice cream in her town.”

“Sounds like she’s suffering,” he joked. “But it’s cute that you two have kept in contact for so long.”

“C-cute? I don’t know if I’d call it that.” It was just the sort of things that friends did. Try and keep connected and all that.

“Aw, come on, it’s adorable. You two have the whole childhood sweetheart thing going on, right?”

Roxas snorted. “No way! Trust me, no sweetheart or anything like that.”

“Really?”

“It’s not like I’d lie about it. I know myself pretty well, and I know that Xion is just my best friend. I’m not oblivious like Sora.”

“Fair enough…”

There hadn’t been many moments for Roxas and Vanitas to just talk like this in a long time, but he felt a sort of giddiness at it. The normalcy of what their lives used to be was hard to find amongst what it was now, so he was glad that they could just take this time to chat with each other.

In a way, he didn’t want it to end.

 

 

 

 

Ven stared at the door to Ava’s Dandelions, waiting for someone to enter just so he could be entertained for a few minutes. He should have known a flower shop wasn’t a popular stop for most people, but he still wished there was more activity so that he wasn’t just standing around watering flowers and playing with Chirithy. Sometimes Ephemer or Skuld would visit, but not today. At least he decided that he would be joining them for his senior year of high school so he didn’t have to worry about this boredom lasting past the summer. He’d probably be thankful for this quiet job after long days of school work.

The bell to the door rung as someone stepped in. He looked up from the flower he was prodding to see none other than Aqua standing there, looking surprised and sheepish.  
“Hey,” he said with a smile. It had been easy for Terra and Aqua to avoid him after they argued because of how busy they were with college, and he had been trying to build up the courage to see them and apologize, but it never happened. He tried to calm his nerves. Maybe it could happen now.

“Hi Ven,” she said. “I heard you were working, but I didn’t think I’d run across you.”

He quickly got out from behind the counter he was at. “Yeah! Ephemer helped me get the job.”

“That’s sweet of him. Are you enjoying it?”

“It’s nice,” he admitted. “How’s college?”

“Good, good.”

He hated the awkwardness of the conversation already. She had been one of his closest friends, and he blamed himself for the distance that had grown. Yeah, he was still angry at Vanitas (how he had managed to hold this grudge for over a year was beyond even himself) and maybe he was still stung by what she chose to do, but he never planned to lose his friendship with her over it.

“Look, Aqua--”

“Listen, Ven--”

They both paused, having spoken at the same time. Aqua shook her head. “You go first.”

He scratched the back of his head. “Well… I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to go this long without talking to you and Terra, and I know I kind of overreacted.”  
“No, you didn’t overreact. I really had no place to keep that from you, even if I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn’t think it would hurt you so much, and /I’m/ sorry.”

Ven’s only answer to that was to give her a tight hug and try to hide how emotional this was already making him feel. She had just been looking out for him. He hadn’t needed to be so harsh.

She hugged him back. “Think you can forgive me?”

“Only if you forgive me!” He pulled away from the hug. “And I’ve gotta talk to Terra, too! God, it’s been so long, too long.”

“It has. But! You can’t just walk out of your job. Terra’ll be excited to talk to you, but he can wait.” She glanced at some flowers. “I came here to buy some for the hospital, by the way.”

“Oh, sure, I can show you--” Ven turned around to point out some flowers only to find Chirithy winding under his feet and nearly tripping him. “Chirithy!” He scolded the cat, lifting him up to glare at his squishy looking face.

“A cat?” Aqua said. 

“Just a stray who hangs around here.” He settled the cat on a nearby counter. “He likes to just appear where you least expect him.”

“Sounds like a handful,” she chuckled.

Ven scratched behind Chirithy’s ears. “He’s cute, so he gets away with it.” He helped her pick out the prettiest flowers he could find, giddy to be having a normal conversation with her. They laughed like they hadn’t lost a year of time, and he teased her about her relationship with Terra while she caught up on all the details of his life that she had missed.  
She was the one who broached the subject of Vanitas, which Ven had been carefully dancing around. “He’s still up to the same things,” she said more as a statement than a question.

Ven nodded. It hurt to see Vanitas come home with injuries, and it hurt even more to know they would fall right back into the same old argument. Ven wasn’t going to back down; he knew that what Vanitas was doing was still wrong and dangerous. But Vanitas was just as stubborn as him, and some days it felt like he was just chasing his own tail.

“‘Course he is,” Ven said.

“I won’t meddle,” she said. “I know that’s not what any of you need. But on a larger scale I still have… concerns.”

“So do I. I mean, he’s been lucky so far, but what--”

“Not about just Vanitas.”

He blinked at her. “Then, what?”

“Ven, we’re now both well aware that your brother is working for some sort of crime ring that indoctrinated him as a /child./ I’m concerned about that. Something of that work on this scale in our small town? Maybe this town is just a starting point, and people are suffering somewhere out of bounds. I haven’t brought this up to Terra but… I think Eraqus knows something is off. But nothing is being done.”

“Oh.” He hadn’t really looked at the big picture. He had just been hyper focused on Vanitas and his safety, blatantly not thinking twice about the safety of others that came into play. Despite all that was happening, he trusted his brother too much to think he might be out there really hurting innocent people, but what did he know about the rest of this gang?

He crossed his arms. “You wanna learn more.”

“Sorry. I’m not trying to meddle--”

“No, I get it. This is more than just Vani. You like helping people, and we both know this town would be better off without that gang.” He sighed. For a moment, he felt worn down from all the fighting with Vanitas. He just wanted to save his brother from these awful people, and now all the others whose lives were being interfered with for the sake of a little profit. “I’ll help, in whatever way I can!”

She smiled. “There isn’t much to be done right now, but maybe I’ll figure something out. But, I don’t want you to focus too much on this. You’re finally going back to school and you have this job to worry about.”

“I can handle it all!”

“Ven, this could be dangerous stuff. No, this /is/ dangerous stuff.”

“I know that.” He knew that very well, actually. “But Aqua, you have to let me help.”

She hesitated. “Of course,” she finally said.

“I actually went to their hideout. Hangout? Top secret organization meeting spot? I don’t know what they call it, but I followed Vanitas there.”

“You did? What did it look like? Where is it?”

“It’s just an abandoned warehouse on the edge of town, but I honestly would have never thought to look there. There was hardly a path and I kind of just thought it was always woods, nothing else.”

“I see.” She put a hand on her chin. “Odd, but not as concealed as I would have thought.”

“Well, I only saw them there once. Who knows what other places they go off to?” He paused. “Hey, don’t go looking for it without me, okay? If we do something stupid, we do it together.”

She chuckled. “Ven, let’s try not to do any ‘stupid’ things together at all. I won’t go looking for trouble.”

“Good. I wish I could share more beyond that, but Vanitas isn’t exactly open on that topic.” He wasn’t open on any topics, really. Unless he was complaining about someone they knew. Then, it could be a full open roast.

“No, it’s fine.” She picked up the flowers he had helped her pick out. “Well, I have to start heading back. We’ll meet up soon, okay?”

He grinned. “Right! See you around, Aqua.”

She left him to the silence of his job once more, but it wasn’t so bad anymore. The day had certainly taken a better turn than he thought it would.

 

 

 

It had only been a usual remark from Riku. A typical snide “I thought you would do better” as they compared their usual test grades when school started up in fall. The three of them were walking the familiar route they shared to get home, and though Sora also wasn’t particularly proud of his grade, he wasn’t too ruffled by Riku’s comment.  
But Kairi was.

“Stop putting him down!” She snapped suddenly from Sora’s right side, shooting a glare at Riku. Sora was so surprised by her outburst that he stopped walking, and so did they.  
“I’m not putting him down,” Riku argued, not one to show he was caught off guard.

“Ugh, you two are always arguing about your test grades, but you don’t have to be so mean about it,” she said.

Sora looked between the two of them. Was this really happening? “Kairi,” he began. “It’s not so bad--”

“Well, you’re always coddling him,” Riku said.

“I don’t coddle!”

“Maybe if you two weren’t always lazing off together your grades would be higher too, Kairi.” Was Sora imagining things or did he sound almost… hurt?

Sora shook his head. “Kairi does her best--”

"Lazing off together!?” she exclaimed. “My grades are fine, I just don’t feel the need to be a pompous jerk about it!”

“There’s nothing ‘pompous’ about trying to do good in school!”

“I don’t even think it’s about doing good in school, I think you just like picking on Sora!”

"Both of you, please stop!” Sora said, glad he could finally complete a sentence. “You guys can’t /really/ be fighting!”

Kairi crossed her arms. “It’s not fighting. I’m just standing up for you. I’m tired of hearing the same negative things come out of Riku’s mouth.” She glared over at him. “You used to be nicer when we were kids!”

There was a barely noticeable flinch from Riku. “Yeah, well, we’re not kids anymore,” he said simply. He turned away.

“Where are you going?” Sora said.

“Home!” Riku snapped, taking a different route from what he usually did.

“Riku!”

“Why does he have to be like that?” Kairi said. “Why’d he have to change?” Sora looked back at her, surprised to find her red in the face. “I don’t want either of you to change! I hate it!” She broke into a run, heading the opposite direction of Riku and to her house.

“Kairi!” Sora called after, but she didn’t turn back. 

He was left standing alone in the street, facing some mental whiplash after hearing both of them arguing on either side of him. They didn’t really just have a fight, did they? Riku and Kairi and him… they were all supposed to be friends! How was he going to hang out with both of them if they were fighting? Surely they would patch it up, right? Maybe this was one of those things where he would just have to smooth it over for the both of them.

He ran the rest of the way home, feeling awkward and embarrassed at not having his two friends by his side as he went the rest of the way. When he got home Ven was already there unpacking all his homework for the day at the kitchen table. He was very dedicated to making sure his last year of schooling went well, which meant he was also on the lookout for his brothers to do well. Roxas was sat across from him, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here and doing homework.

Ven looked up from his work. “Hey Sora! What took you so long?”

Sora dramatically set his backpack down on the floor next to his chair. “Riku and Kairi are fighting!”

“What?”

Roxas leaned forward, looking interested in some gossip. “Oh really? How come?”

“I-it was dumb! Riku and I have always been competitive about our grades, and sometimes he’s a bit harsh, but Kairi got really upset about it and I don’t know what to do!”

“Well,” Roxas said. “You have to admit that Riku is kind of a bitch.”

Ven glared at him. “Can we not with the cursing?” Roxas rolled his eyes at him. “Whatever. Look, Sora, just sit down and take a breath. I’m sure it’s not that serious.”

Sora sat down, but probably with less grace and calm than Ven had intended. “Not that serious? /Not that serious?/ Riku and Kairi never fight! /Kairi/ never fights with anyone! How am I going to hang out with both of them? What if they never want to be friends again?”

“Slow down there,” Ven said. “Friends have fights all the time. Some of them are bad, I know, but this doesn’t have to be the end of friendship, and it’s certainly not the end of the world like you’re making it out to be.”

“Yeah,” Roxas said. “One time I said that Isa had a bad mullet and I thought he was going to pop a blood vessel, but we’re cool now.”

Sora blinked at Roxas. “That’s not the same!”

Ven pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “If they just fought, give them some time. Kairi’s got a good head on her shoulders. I don’t see someone like her holding a grudge.”

Roxas snorted. “And Riku?”

"Riku will figure himself out too, I’m sure. But,” Ven tapped his chin with his pencil. “Maybe Kairi has a point. You always look a little too upset when it comes to Riku’s teasings.”  
“I do?” Sora said. “But I’m not! Not really. I know Riku’s always gonna get better scores than me. He’s better than me at everything, really. I’m not that upset!”

“He’s not better than you at everything!” Roxas said, looking affronted.

“But--”

“He’s not!”

Sora frowned. “Most things.”

“I know you really care about Riku,” Ven said. “But maybe try more perspective? It’s okay if you’re a little upset with him, too. I wouldn’t be all that happy if Aqua was constantly lording her grades over me either.”

Sora sighed, slumping in his seat. Was he upset? There was always a touch of annoyance, but he liked the thrill of the argument sometimes too, the spark that was lit in him over their rivalry. “I gotta talk to them,” he said, moving to get up.

Ven put a hand on his shoulder and forced him back down into his seat. “Not right now you don’t. Give them space. Do your homework.”

“Ugh,” Sora groaned, pulling his work out. “You’re starting to sound like Riku.”

“That isn’t a great thing to say right now!”

The three of them worked on their schoolwork to varying degrees of success and determination. Roxas tried to hide that he was on his phone by putting a book in front of him, but a sharp kick from Ven had that toppling down, and all the while Sora found he didn’t like working on homework with them as much as he did Kairi and Riku. Ven took almost an uncomfortably long time trying to figure out the answers to Sora’s homework so he could help him when he needed it, and Sora didn’t exactly miss the giant pile of notes by Ven’s homework that were written in the distinct handwriting of Ephemer and Aqua.

When the front door opened Sora half hoped it would be Vanitas walking through, but it was their mother returning from work. She looked happier than what he expected.

“Oh, you’re all working on homework? You three are so responsible,” she said.

"Only ‘cause Ven’s making us,” Roxas muttered with his cheek pressed to the table.

Ven beamed at her. “Better done now than later. You look like you’re in a good mood though, did something happen?”

“Mm, more like something that /might/ happen. I may have some new opportunities opening up in my job by the end of next year. It could really give us a big break when it comes to finances.”

Sora remained silent, but he still didn’t know what his mother thought of the fact that sometimes new things just appeared in the house or were already paid for. What did she think of Vanitas’ absence? Did she think of it at all? What would she say if they told her the truth, how would she react? He didn’t think he wanted to know.

“That’s great,” Ven said, his smile looking a little strained. “Hope it works out.”

"So do I,” she said. “Well, I won’t distract you three from your work. Keep it up!”

“We will,” Ven said.

Sora thought that later that night he wouldn’t have trouble falling asleep, but his mind with wired with the thoughts of tomorrow. The three of them weren’t going to sit together, were they? What if things were never okay again? He stared at the bottom of Roxas’ bunk, trying not to let out a loud and frustrated sigh. At least Vanitas wasn’t home. He picked up the smallest movements in the room and got snippy about it, and Sora wasn’t sure he could handle that right now. Never in his life had he been in such a /panic./

He heard movement across the room as Ven rose from his bed. Oh no. He’d probably waken him, even though that was a Herculean task. He went still, pretending to be asleep, but it didn’t stop Ven from sitting on his bed, the old bed frame squeaking slightly.

“I know you’re awake,” Ven whispered.

Sora opened his eyes slowly. “Sorry.”

“Is it really bothering you that much?”

“I dunno. I guess. I keep thinking about how upset Kairi sounded. She said she didn’t want either of us to change. Is that what’s happening? Are we just… changing?” His stomach churned at the idea of growing up and growing distant from his oldest friends.

“Maybe,” Ven said with a shrug. “I’m kind of missing a few formative years, but we’ve all changed. You’ve done it before, you’ll do it again. And so will they.”

“But I don’t want to lose them.”

Ven shook his head. “I don’t think you will. What you three have is a very close bond, and a little spat isn’t going to change that.”

Sora sighed, but he did feel a little more comforted. There was something nostalgic about Ven sitting on his bed and comforting him, like the night before his first day of school. “You’re right. I’ll try not to think about it too much.”

He heard the front door open softly outside the bedroom. “Vanitas must be back,” Ven said with disappointment. “Late as always.”

Sora frowned. He had really been hoping that Vanitas would stop what he was doing. “Do you think… if this new job opportunity with Mom works out, he won’t have to steal anymore?”

“I hope. But even if she was making a million dollars a year, I get the feeling that he’d be remiss to give it up.”

“I think he would.”

Ven got up from his bed, returning to his own. “We’ll have to see. Night, Sora.”

“Night, Ven.”

He was able to find sleep a little more easily that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! This fic is getting close to the end, and the climax will hit in the end of the next chapter, we don't have long to go! After this fic ends I have plans to add onto my other KH fic, What I Am, but also I don't think I'm done with this universe! There'll probably be one-shots that fluff it up more or look into the future of these bros! That being said, I'm entering my final weeks of college, so I don't think I'm going to update until that's done, which is early/mid May. I hope that isn't too long of a wait, and thank you all for following this fic so far!!


	12. Part 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys had a long wait, so here's a long 11k chapter! The final chapters are in the works now, and the climax has finally made its appearance in this part!

Kairi had been just as antsy as Sora when it came to her fight with Riku, even though she was definitely right, and she knew that the responsible thing to do would be to just talk to him and wrap this whole mess up. She hadn’t meant to make Sora so nervous about them, and no matter how annoyed she got with Riku she wasn’t about to give up their friendship, either. It had only been a little over two weeks of awkwardness before she decided to invite Riku over her house for a conversation.

She waited patiently for the doorbell in her living room, staring at the big empty screen of her TV. She noticed Namine walking by.

“Where ya goin’?” she asked.

Namine looked up from her phone. “Oh, I was just going to the park. It’s such a nice day out.”

“Hmm. The one Roxas hangs out at?”

She pouted. “Maybe, but! Just because he goes there sometimes doesn’t mean that I go there /because/ of him. It’s a very nice park.”

“Sure, Nami. I believe you.”

“Kairi!” Just then, the doorbell rang. Namine opened it, not expecting to see Riku. “Oh!” Kairi heard him ask if she was there, so Namine let him in, quietly slipping outside and closing the door behind her.

Riku looked somewhat awkward in the big halls of Kairi’s house with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans and some of his hair obscuring his face. “Hey,” he said lamely.  
“Hey,” she replied with equal tone. She stood across from him and sighed. “I shouldn’t have snapped,” she admitted before he could say anything. She didn’t exactly want to stand around waiting for one of them to make a move, and even though she still felt fiercely defensive of Sora, she knew that she had gone about it the wrong way. 

He scratched the back of his head. “I shouldn’t have been rude. I’m not even that mad.”

“Neither am I. But Riku,” she sighed. “What’s going on with you?” As she said it, she was sure she wasn’t going to get a straightforward answer. Even if Riku knew exactly what he was feeling, he wasn’t one to put it into words, not even around Sora, and she had a feeling that he didn’t really understand what he was doing and why either.

“Nothing.”

She waited a moment for elaboration, but he seemed satisfied with that answer. “Really? Come on Riku, I’ve known you for a long time. I feel like something’s just… off. I’m good at these things, you know? I can always tell when you guys are feeling different.”

“Kairi.” He was smiling softly. “You may be off the mark this time. I’m sorry we fought. Maybe I’m just stressed over somethings, but I’ll lay off with the teasing.”

“But /what/ things?” she pushed. “You can talk to me.”

“We’re talking now, aren’t we?”

“Ugh, you know what I mean. Yeah, we’re talking, because I invited you over to talk, but I was kind of hoping you’d have more to say than this.”

He crossed his arms. “I apologized. Really, I don’t know what else you want.”

She sighed, feeling like she was talking to a brick wall. “Alright then.” There was no way she was getting anywhere with Riku acting like this. “I’m gonna visit Sora. Come with me? We can all hang out,” she offered. Maybe with Sora there, things could finally feel a bit normal.

“Actually, I only had time to stop by for a bit. I’m meeting up with some other people.”

Other people? As in, other friends? She was taken aback for a moment. “Oh. Oh, uh, okay then. Can I ask who?”

“You wouldn’t know ‘em,” he said with a shrug.

She found that suspicious, considering how small their town was. She knew it would be easy to just get into another argument with him right here, and she didn’t want that, so she let it go. “Okay… then I’ll see you at school on Monday?”

“Yeah, probably.”

/Probably?/ Now he was just being deliberately avoidant and weird. She put her hands on her hips. “See you around, Riku.”

“See ya, Kai.” He left with a wave, looking a little mischievous as if he knew he was starting to get under her skin again. At least it was in a more playful way than genuinely being abrasive. 

She had hoped for a longer conversation. Riku really was changing, wasn’t he? It was tempting to follow after and see who he was hanging out with now, but they would definitely end up on bad terms again, so she waited a bit before heading out to visit Sora. At least a nice walk in the fall would clear her head.

Sora’s house was characteristically quiet and void of life when she arrived. No car parked in front, no conversations carrying to the outside the way hers and Namine’s did sometimes. It was such a tiny house too, and it still caught her off guard that it remained so quiet most days. She wouldn’t admit it to Sora, but his house gave an almost creepy and abandoned vibe, with the front lawn all but forgotten and overgrown and the curtains tightly shut to keep out any prying eyes. She knocked on the door.

It was Ven who opened it a few seconds later. “Kairi?”

“Oh, hi Ven. I was wondering if Sora was here?”

“He stepped out with Roxas for a second, but he’s supposed to be back any minute. You can wait inside for him if you’d like.”

“Sure!” She stepped in, glancing around the small house. 

No sign of their mother or Vanitas. That was kind of a relief, since both made her feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable. She saw Ven was set up with a bunch of books and homework. Personally, she would never want to be caught doing homework on a Saturday, but Sora had told her that he was working as hard as possible to make sure his grades were in good shape.

“Do you want something to drink?” he offered. “We’ve got some lemonade here.”

“That sounds good, thanks.” She glanced once more at Ven’s work and the intricate number problems she didn’t quite understand. She should have made Riku promise to not bother Sora anymore about grades before he left. 

He handed her the drink and offered her a seat at the table, pushing some of his books aside. “So how’s school been?” he asked.

“It’s okay,” she said, sipping her drink. “Do you like being back in school?”

“Yeah, it’s really nice. Though I never hear the end of it when it comes to Sora and Roxas and how much they hate going.” He glanced out the window. “At least they’re both doing good.”

“Riku’s always pushing Sora to do better,” she admitted.

“I’ve heard of that.” He paused. “Are you and Riku okay? Sora was talking about it a few days ago.”

“Huh?” Of course Sora was talking to Ven about it. She felt bad, knowing that she had probably worried her friend sick over this. “We’re okay now. I talked with him today, and I think we can get over it. But… I feel like something’s permanently changed with him, and to be honest I don’t know what to make of it.”

“Sora said something like that. I’m sure whatever Riku’s going through, he’ll work it out.”

“I just didn’t want him to hassle Sora so much!”

“Those two certainly have an… interesting dynamic, to say the least. Riku seems to have issues with expressing what he really feels, if I’m being honest.”

That certainly sounded like Riku to her. “Yeah, and it can be super annoying.”

“Well, maybe they’re feelings he doesn’t really understand. He’s a bit of a hair tugger.”

She tilted her head. “Hair tugger?” She’d never described anyone like that.

“You know, pulling pigtails and all that. Like, acting out because he doesn’t really know what he’s feeling or what he wants. Vanitas kind of gets like that, or at least he was like that when we were little.”

“Well, that definitely sounds like Riku. I just wish he’d get a grip and stop being so rude to Sora all the time.”

“Sora can take it. He’s got three brothers, after all. Besides,” he smirked. “One of us would step in if it got bad. One day, Riku’s gonna figure out how to express himself, and until then, you guys are just gonna have to hold out for him.”

“Is that what you’re doing with Vanitas? Holding out?” she asked.

“Vani’s a lot more problematic than Riku, but sure. I guess we all are. I’ve got faith, no matter how tenuous, and so should you in Riku.”

She nodded. “You’re right. Though I’m not afraid to give him a push in the right direction!” She was sure that if she didn’t, he would remain brooding for the rest of his life, and as one of his best friend’s, she couldn’t have that. 

The front door opened then, with both Sora and Roxas stepping in. “Kairi?” Sora said with a tilt of his head. “What’re you doing here?”

“Came to see if you wanted to hang out,” she said.

“Oh, sure! Hope you weren’t waiting long. Ven was probably boring you with all his homework.”

She exchanged a look with Ven. “Sure was!” she giggled. One day, she hoped Riku would be able to easily talk to the both of them about their problems.

 

 

 

 

Ven steadied Vanitas with a glare, the both of them standing outside their high school as students were let out for the day. It was well into winter, halfway through Ven’s senior year and Vanitas’ junior year. Ephemer and Skuld were on either side of Ven, looking like they wanted to be anywhere other than near another one of Ven’s family conflict, something that was becoming quite the talk as of late.

“What are you doing?” Ven said.

“Going home. Clearly.”

“I heard you were supposed to be in detention today catching up on that essay you were supposed to turn in. You know, the draft that’s meant to be submitted to your future colleges.”

“Look,” Vanitas said, sounding not all that interested in the conversation at hand. “You’re lucky enough I showed up at all.”

“Go back inside!”

“I have better things to spend my time with.”

Ven wanted to bite out a ‘really?’ but that would end up even worse. “Like what?”

“Sleeping.”

He narrowed his eyes. It wasn’t hard to miss how run down and exhausted his brother was looking lately, but it was no excuse. No one was forcing Vanitas to do crimes when he clearly didn’t have to and was supposed to be focusing on finishing up his junior year with good grades. Still, it hurt to think how hard Vanitas was pushing himself. 

There was no winning here, as per usual with Vanitas. “Fine,” Ven said. 

Vanitas held his gaze for one last second before slipping off into the crowd of students and heading home. Ven let out a tense breath before turning back to his friends.

“Sorry,” he said, walking with them out of the school grounds.

“Don’t be,” Skuld said. “We know things are kind of rough right now. How’s your job been, by the way?”

“It’s nice. A little laid back.”

“That’s Miss Ava for you,” Ephemer said. “She’s easygoing, so of course her establishment would be, too.”

“You say everyone’s easygoing,” Skuld teased with a nudge of her elbow.

Ephemer laughed. “Doesn’t mean I’m wrong! She was a lot of help for me when I was looking for colleges. More than our guidance counselors, if I’m being honest.”

There was always a bit of stress that came to Ven at hearing the word ‘college’. Unlike Terra and Aqua, these two were planning to go far and dorm at their respective colleges, and he wouldn’t be able to see them as often. He actually liked the idea of breaking away from home and going to college like the rest of his grade, but he knew that was another expense he couldn’t afford. 

“Sounds like you’ll be in good hands when you start looking, Ven,” Skuld said. “Any plans for that?”

“Honestly, that’s too long into the future for me to think about. After school’s done, I’m gonna have to find a job that pays a little better than retail for flowers.”

“Don’t think I can help you there,” Ephemer said with a laugh. 

“No, I’m still happy you helped me at all!” Ven didn’t know what he would do if he was confined to always being at home and working on homework. He’d probably go stir crazy, that was for sure, and the last thing he wanted was to start tagging along with Sora or Roxas’ friend groups just so he had an excuse to get out of the house.

“I’m kind of jealous that you don’t have to jump right back into schoolwork,” Skuld said. 

“It’s pretty nice,” he admitted. “Not having to worry about my grades come next fall.” Maybe without school in his way he could turn his attention to Vanitas and making sure that he at least passed his senior year. 

“I’ll miss you guys though,” Ven said. “So make sure to call a lot, okay?”

“Aw, you’re gonna make me emotional already,” Ephemer said with a smile. “We’d never forget, and we’ll visit you during our breaks.”

“Yup!” Skuld said. 

Ven smiled back at them, glad that he had a few friends who weren’t wrapped up in the drama of his personal life too much and without the worries of the local gang.

It was only a few weeks later that he met up with Aqua to discuss more important matters than their friendship or playing board games with Terra. The two of them met at the abandoned warehouse Ven had spotted Vanitas at over a year ago, tension hanging in the air. Ven hated this dilapidated place. He hated the idea of his brother spending so much of his life here, rather than the warmth and safety of their home.

He peered into the same window he had before, surprised that it was vacant. “No one’s here,” he called down to Aqua before jumping off the crates he was standing on.

“This can’t be the only spot that they meet at,” she concluded. “You said you saw an old man running the group?”

“Seemed like it. I swear he looked right at me, but I haven’t seen him since. I don’t even know if he lives in this town.”

“Could you describe him more?”

Most of that day was a little fuzzy because of the high emotions and tension, and everytime he thought back to it he could only picture Vanitas’ rage and how tiny he looked against the lonely street. “Really, uh, creepy? Bald. He’s got a gross little beard, too.”

Aqua sighed. “You’d know him if you saw him again, right?”

“Totally. He definitely looks too old to be doing crime shenanigans. Guess that’s why so many teens work for him.” Ven examined the building from the outside, shoving his cold hands in his pockets. “We should go in.”

“No way, Ven.”

“Why not? There’s no one in there.” He was already walking to the front door. He pulled on it lightly. “And it’s not locked.”

Aqua looked around the area. “It feels off. I don’t think we should--” He was already pulling the door open. “Alright then, don’t touch anything.”

“It’s colder in here than outside!” Ven complained as they stepped in. The gray light of day was the only thing illuminating the warehouse through its tall windows. There was some random furniture strewn about and even a car that looked abandoned and broken, but not another soul was present.

They searched, but there weren’t any signs that people had been here before, despite what Ven had seen. Did they move because that old man saw him? Did Vanitas tell them all? He didn’t think it was likely. 

“It’s like no one’s ever existed here,” Aqua said. “They must be pretty strict in cleaning up after themselves.” She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know what we were planning to find here. I think I should just talk to Eraqus.”

“Right,” Ven said. Talking to Eraqus was definitely the right thing to do. And yet… it filled him with a sense of anxiety and dread. Vanitas’ involvement in this group was undeniable. Just what exactly would happen to his brother once this was all revealed? He was almost eighteen, too. Would the punishment be harsh?

Aqua put a hand on his shoulder. “You can come with. I’m sure he’ll prefer to hear it from both of us.”

“But I wonder why he’s waited this long, if he knew Vanitas was the one who broke into his house.” Maybe Eraqus was staying silent for Vanitas’ sake. Ven had never talked to Eraqus much, but if he was anything like Terra than he was kind and considerate.

“I’m sure he has a good reason.”

Ven was still on edge as they left the warehouse, knowing he would probably soon be back to check on the situation. Following Vanitas again probably wouldn’t be as easy as last time, so this was the only spot he could hold onto.

They barely made it to the edge of the overgrown pathway leading out before they were stopped by Lauriam, who looked like he had been lurking around just waiting for them.  
“Lauriam?” Ven said, trying to sound innocent and like he and Aqua hadn’t been snooping. 

“I saw you two turn in here,” he said simply, cutting to the chase. “There’s nothing to find.”

“Noted,” Ven said.

“Was there something you wanted to tell us?” Aqua asked more defensively. 

He crossed his arms. “Call it a hunch, but I believe that the long years spent working around here are coming to a climactic close. You both are looking to put a stop to this for Vanitas’ sake, aren’t you?”

“Of course.” There was no denying it, Ven knew that. He could say he was doing it for Lauriam too, and even Elrena, but it wouldn’t be true. Not because he didn’t care about them, but because he knew that they could probably get themselves out in a heartbeat, while he was certain Vanitas would only keep digging his grave.

“It must be surprising to you both that no one has done anything about this,” Lauriam continued. “For as widespread as we are, there isn’t much in the way of public concern or stopping us. So, I’d like to help you two put an end to this once and for all.”

“Really?” Ven said eagerly.

“Hold on,” Aqua said. “You never seemed interested in ending the gang before. Why now? How does this benefit you?”

“Oh, I’m not really looking for benefit,” he admitted. “My origins in the organization are not nearly as humble nor noble as Vanitas’, and so it’s fall won’t help me as much as you think it’ll help him, but I want to help any way. It’s about time something knocked the old man off his high horse.”

“What’s the man’s name?”

“Xehanort.”

“Hmm,” said Ven. “Doesn’t ring a bell. Aqua?”

“It’s almost familiar. I-I think I’ve heard it somewhere before.”

“He doesn’t live in this town,” Lauriam clarified. “But he likes to harass it as much as possible. Something personal here, I guess. No one’s made a move to stop him because of how well he covers his tracks and the fact that no one would rat him out.”

“But you would,” Aqua said.

“Yes. Not everyone can be leashed so easily. I believe I can poke holes in his tight knit web and get evidence, but it’s on you two to use it as you please. I’d rather not reveal my involvement here, for obvious reasons.”

Once more, Ven wondered what sort of punishments Vanitas would face. Maybe Lauriam could convince him to leave before they went to the police with whatever evidence could be gathered and avoid the consequences all together. 

“We can do that, right?” Ven said.

Aqua gave it a moment before nodding. “Alright then. Is it safe to assume Elrena will be helping you?”

“Of course.”

“I hope you two can pull it off then. Xehanort sounds like a well organized man; dismembering his gang and grabbing traces won’t be easy.”

“Trust me, I know.” He gave a rare smile. “I’ll keep an eye on Vanitas, too.” He glanced down at his phone, which was starting to ring off. “I’ll see you both around then.”

They nodded and he walked off to answer whatever call it was. Ven and Aqua continued to walk back to the main part of town.

“So our job is to find someone to give the evidence to,” Aqua said.

“Well, Eraqus, right?”

She was quiet a minute too long. “Uh, yeah. We’ll have to see, of course, and just because Lauriam is working with us doesn’t mean we should stop trying to gather our own clues. He surprised me with how forthcoming he was.”

“Well, I think he’s doing this for his little sister,” Ven said with a contemplative tilt of his head. “Keep the town safe, you know? I can barely stand the thought of Vani getting hurt and he drives me up the wall most days. Lauriam’s probably worried that if Xehanort’s gang gets bigger, Strelitzia might get hurt.”

Aqua nodded slowly. “I hadn’t really thought of that. I suppose, as an older brother, you understood that right away.”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s just what makes the most sense.”

The overcast winter sky threatened rain, and so they quickly made their way to the safety of indoors.

 

 

 

 

To Vanitas, seeing members of Xehanort’s group outside of the context of their work was kind of like seeing a teacher randomly at the supermarket. His whole mood was put off just by spying Ansem outside a store on the mainstreet, even if Ansem didn’t see him. He would have just kept it moving too if he didn’t see who Ansem was talking to.

Of all the people, of all the possibilities, it was Riku. His blood ran cold for a moment as he recalled Ansem talking about how someone new was joining soon. Vanitas had written it off as no big deal, probably just someone who would pop in for a month before disappearing as was prone to happening. Anyone who joined already knew what they were about and rarely tried to make much conversation unless they stayed for longer, like Ienzo had.

But /Riku/. Vanitas didn’t know who he wanted to throttle more, him or Ansem. Riku, of all people, who had barely turned fifteen just at the beginning of spring, was interested in their petty crimes. He chose to not confront either and kept going, knowing that they hadn’t noticed him.

This was bad. This was really, really bad. What was Riku doing? Didn’t he find his time occupied with Kairi and Sora? Why this? God, /Sora/. No, there was no way he could let Riku join. It would break Sora’s heart if Riku was injured doing something stupid. He knew he had to tell Sora, at least for the sake of telling him to get some better friends and cut Riku off now, before it was too late, but he was not excited for that conversation.

Something about Riku joining also struck a violent sort of disgust in Vanitas. Riku was just a kid. Okay, a teenager, and Vanitas had joined a lot younger, but still. He was only a year older than Sora. He was supposed to be studying hard in school and wasting time with his friends, not this. The disgust was quickly replaced with anger. Didn’t Riku /know/ what this was going to do to Sora? Even if Vanitas managed to stop him from joining (which he was a little afraid to try, as Ansem still intimidated him to this day) he knew that he would have to stop those two from being friends.

No one who considered joining a crime group without a decent reason was allowed to be around his kid brother. He sincerely doubted anyone there had as good a reason as Vanitas, and Riku wasn’t financially stuck the way he had been. Considering the drama Vanitas had heard second hand regarding Riku’s attitude as of late, he wouldn’t be surprised if this was him lashing out or something.

He stormed back to the house, not caring if he ran into Ven inside. He’d tell him after he told Sora. Maybe. He might just let Sora tell him instead.

When he got inside, he hadn’t been expecting to see his mother in the kitchen. She blinked up at him, opening her mouth to speak, but he was already heading to his bedroom. When he tossed open the door, it was vacant. He gritted his teeth.

“Vanitas?” His mom called. “We need to talk.”

Those were not words he wanted to hear right now. Slowly, he backed out of the room and moved to the kitchen. “What,” he said plainly.

She always held a vacant sort of look in her eyes, even as she was talking to him, but it had been a long time since he had seen such a stern look directed his way. It was too held back to be a real glare, but it did remind him a lot of Ven.

“I’ve gotten a few calls from the school recently. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to say anything because Ven said he would help you, but…” She shook her head. “Your grades? Skipping detentions that, by the way, you never told me you had?”

It was a real struggle to not roll his eyes. He might have liked it once, when he was little, to hear her concern over what he was doing in school. It was a reminder that she did care, if poorly and distantly. But now it sounded out of place, and he was too far gone or too old to take any of that care to heart. 

“Vani, what’s gotten into you? Now isn’t the time to start letting your grades drop. If you’re struggling you should go to your teachers.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said, wanting the conversation to end quickly. “I’ll work on my grades or whatever.”

“Actually, the last call was about meeting with your counselor. Tomorrow afternoon.”

“There’s no need for a meeting!” Vanitas objected. He felt like a child, desperately hiding a report card. “I’ll fix it.”

“You should have fixed it before it became this much of a problem! If you’re not careful you might end up in summer school or setting yourself back!” Her gaze softened. “I don’t want that for you.”

He pulled out his phone to look distracted for a minute and also to send a text to Sora to learn where he was. “Fine. Whatever. I’m not going to summer school, but I’ll see you at the meeting, I guess.”

“Vanitas--”

“I have to go.” He cut her off before she could keep going on and on. For a moment, he hoped she would call after him, stop him, even if he knew he would lash out in response. But she said nothing and he only felt her eyes burning into his back as he left the house to find Sora.

Grades were inconsequential. There was no way he could be made to attend summer school, and he doubted anything would come of tomorrow’s meeting, so he cast the conversation from his mind and resumed being pissed at Riku and concerned for Sora. 

His phone began to buzz. Of course. Send a text to Sora and he responds by immediately calling.

“What’s wrong?” Sora asked immediately. “What do you need to talk about? Is everything okay?”

“Relax,” Vanitas said quickly, annoyance edging his tone. “Just wanna know where you are so we can have a little chat. It’s no big deal.” Except that it totally was going to be a big deal when he told Sora, because his baby brother did everything with emotional value dialed up to a constant eleven.

“Okay, okay! I’m at the beach.”

Vanitas made his way there. “The beach? It’s only just turned spring. It’s too cold for you.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Is it just you?”

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason. I’ll see you there.” He hung up and shoved his phone into his pocket. When he got to the beach it was empty save for Sora, who was looking out over the horizon. Sora looked back at him, his eyes immediately lighting up. 

“Hey!” His smile was naturally blinding.

Vanitas gave a casual nod of his head as a greeting and opted for sitting on the cold sand. Sora sat down too, looking inquisitive. “So what’s up?” He asked.

Vanitas had no clue how he was going to go about this, but being blunt was probably the best way. “We gotta talk about Riku.”

“Riku? What about him?”

He sighed. “Look, I saw him today talking with someone he shouldn’t be, and Riku’s not dumb. He knows better. So I want you to stay away, okay? Just go hang with Kairi or something.”

“Whoa whoa whoa! Who was he talking to?” He paused. “I’m not gonna stay away from my best friend.”

“It doesn’t matter who he was talking to. I’m saying you’re better off without him.”

“No,” Sora said defiantly, but a lot quieter than Vanitas was expecting. He blinked at him, caught off guard by the fact that Sora was well on his way to being a teenager, and he was no longer the little kid that could be bossed around or told what to do with little fuss. “Tell me what’s going on. You /can’t/ keep secrets from me again, it isn’t fair.”

Vanitas ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t look at such an earnest expression without crumbling under pressure, so he watched the soft waves of low tide meet the shore. “He was talking with one of the guys I… am acquainted with.”

“Well, maybe it was just that, talking! No one thinks Rox, Ven or I do crimes because we talk with you.”

“Trust me, Sora, their conversation wasn’t ‘just talking’. Why do you even wanna hang out with Riku anyway? He’s a little prick to you and Kairi.”

“He’s gotten better!”

“Better as in chillin’ with a villain?”

Sora got to his feet. “This isn’t funny! Riku would never do something like that, I know him!” He blinked as if caught off guard by his own statement. He knew Vanitas pretty well, and not once in the past had he assumed he was part of a local gang. 

“And I know what I saw. Stay away from him.”

“Why didn’t you stop him? Why didn’t you say anything to him?”

“Look, convincing him to leave probably won’t be hard, but the fact that he sought this out in the first place? Knowing what it is? Knowing what those guys put /me/ through? There’s no coming back from that.” Vanitas wiped sand from his hands. “You’ll make new friends.”

“Riku is my /best/ friend, he’s not replaceable! Friends don’t work like that. I-I know he would never do anything that stupid!”

Vanitas stiffened at that. A deliberate jab? From /Sora/? He stood up as well to meet his brother’s eyes. “What, am I stupid for joining, too?” he challenged.

“No!” Sora answered quickly. “But… but you’re stupid for staying! You’re stupid for doing all this when you don’t have to anymore. We could’ve all just gone back to the way things used to be, but you just keep on with those people, and now you’re telling me to just believe you about my closest friend and move on!” He turned heel.

“Where are you going?” Vanitas demanded, not even halfway done with this conversation.

“To find Riku!” Sora answered, running off before he could be stopped.

Vanitas watched him go, feeling hurt and angry and confused. His arguments with Ven had stopped meaning much over the past year, they were normal, typical. And he had managed to patch most things up with Roxas. But Sora, lecturing him, being this angry with him? It was a foreign feeling that he hated.

Sora just didn’t get it, he concluded. He still didn’t understand the extent to which Vanitas would go for him and their brothers. He didn’t know the ledge they were teetering on no matter how many times it was explained. His hand clenched into a fist. He needed something to punch or let his anger out on, but it was just him on this beach. He kicked at the sand instead.

 

 

 

 

Sora’s heart was pounding as he raced through the streets to Riku’s house. Surely he would find him there, and things would be fine, and he would have a good explanation for what Vanitas had seen. Surely he must. He couldn’t take much more of this, of the drama at home and the drama with his friends. At this point, he felt like most of his life was spent chasing around the people closest to him and hoping for the best. He didn’t want to be let down again. 

He only felt tenser when Riku’s mother told him he was still out at the moment, and not answering calls. This was too familiar. This was too much. 

Growing up, there had always been a rivalry between him and Riku, with varying degrees of aggression, but he had never felt any true animosity towards him. He was still his best friend and Sora loved him, no matter what. But this? He didn’t know what he would do or what he could do. 

He tried to call Riku again, still holding no response. Finally, he called Kairi.

“Hey Sora,” she answered, sounding bored or tired. “What’s up?”

“Have you seen Riku?”

“Recently? No, why?”

“I really need to talk to him and he’s not answering. I don’t know where he is.”

There was a shuffling sound on the other end, like Kairi was sitting up. “Do you want me to help look for him? ...Is he okay?”

“I don’t know, but please? Tell him I really need to speak to him if you see him.”

“Of course. Sora, did he do something--”

“I’ll call you back later.” He hung up swiftly, not wanting to be distracted for too long from his search. His dread only grew and grew as more time passed. Just when he was starting to lose hope, he caught a glimpse of Riku’s familiar silver hair as he rounded a corner of a building.

“Riku!” he called, racing after him. Riku turned to look at him, eyes wide from being caught off guard.

“Sora? What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been looking for you!” He paused to take a breath, but also consider how he was going to open this topic. “W-what have you been doing?”

“Nothing important,” Riku said dismissively.

He shook his head. “Vanitas said… he saw you talking with someone today. It’s not true, is it? That you’re talking to the people he hangs with.”

Riku shrugged. “And so what if I was? They’re not that scary.”

“Riku! They’re criminals; you know what they’re doing! Why would you do that?”

He put his hands in his pockets. “I’m not an idiot. I’m not gonna do something I don’t want to, but what’s wrong with a little harmless fun? It’ll at least get me out of this stupid town a lot easier.”

“You /are/ an idiot!” Sora snapped. 

“Well, what do you care anyway!?” he shot back. “So what if I spend some more of my time with other people? You and Kairi are fine to just hang out by yourselves!”

“What? I thought you two weren’t fighting anymore, is that what this is about?”

“We’re not!”

“Then why this! After everything… I’ve told you everything about how those people have ruined my brother’s life; doesn’t that mean anything?”

Riku looked vulnerable for a second. “I’m not ruining my life! You’re not even seeing the full picture.”

He began to turn away, but Sora grabbed his arm. “Don’t. Don’t do that. /Talk/ to me.”

Riku tugged his arm away. “You just don’t get it, but that’s fine, Sora. You don’t have to, even if you say you want to.”

Sora only stared at him, unsure of what to say. Multiple things wanted to burst forth, but none of them were the right words, and so Riku took his silence as the chance to leave, as if everything had been said and done with nothing left to anchor them both to this spot.

He watched him go, his feelings bouncing between anger and concern. He knew he would get through to Riku, because he knew /Riku/, and this wasn’t the end of this conversation. That didn’t mean he wasn’t brimming with frustration, but he knew he had to collect his thoughts and figure out what was going on.

He wasn’t surprised that Vanitas was nowhere in sight when he got home, and for a moment he wondered if his brother was going to try to avoid him over this. That was the last thing he wanted. Rationally, he should be more angry at Riku than Vanitas, and he’d rather make up sooner than later.

Ven was there though, with Terra, Aqua and Roxas, the four of them setting up a board game. “Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey guys,” Sora said, trying to keep up his normal chipperness. He didn’t need to worry everyone else just yet. No, this wasn’t keeping a secret. But things were bad enough between Ven and Vanitas. He didn’t want to fan those flames, and who knew? Maybe he would work things out with Riku so quickly that he didn’t need to drag the others into it. 

“So, what game is it tonight?”

 

 

 

 

Vanitas crossed his arms, having no trouble looking as bored as he felt. He spent a lot of time in the guidance office at school deflecting questions and trying not to lose brain cells, and this was no different, even though it was his counselor talking with his mother about his grades. He sank further into his chair. He’d rather be outside in the slowly warming weather harassing Riku or something. Anything but this.

“You can definitely save yourself some trouble with summer school,” his counselor said, looking just as bored as him. Vanitas was notorious for being hard to get through to, so why put too much effort in?

“But that doesn’t mean let your grades go for the rest of the year,” his mother chimed in. As if she really cared. 

“Yeah, sure,” he said in hopes of speeding things up. He didn’t particularly care if he passed or how much his high school career fell apart. It didn’t matter, and it was mostly a waste of his time. Graduating, not graduating. Much like Ven, something like college was going to be far out of his reach for a while, so why even bother here?

Besides, he was /tired/. Tired in a way that went beyond physical exhaustion, like some sort of dark cloud that had started to follow him as he grew older. He barely had the mental energy to complete normal tasks, let alone the jobs he forced himself to partake in. His life was starting to feel like a fucking carousel ride that he couldn’t get off of.  
“I’m sure Ven could help if you let him,” his mother said as they exited the office together. “He’s been studying very hard and you’re only in the year below him.”

“He’d probably leap at the opportunity,” Vanitas agreed with a much more sardonic tone. He could just picture it; Ven’s eyes lighting up at the thought of being useful, coddling him and watching over every answer with a happy and expectant smile as if he was some dog being trained. It made him sick.

Vanitas glanced down the empty halls of his school. It was the middle of class, so no one was about.

“Well, I have to head back to work,” his mother said. Momentarily, he felt guilty that he had dragged her out of it at all. “Try to focus a little more in class, okay?”

“I’ll try,” he lied, turning the other way from her to walk down the hall. She uttered a final goodbye before leaving the building. He could have easily left school grounds the minute she was gone, but he could hear her nagging at him if he tried so.

Even though Ven had been in school for a while now, it was still weird to Vanitas to glance him in the halls, usually talking with Ephemer or Skuld, and he made a point of avoiding eye contact. He didn’t want to get swept up in whatever their conversations were about in a poor attempt at fixing his relationship with his brother.

That being said, his comfort in his animosity with Ven didn’t extend to Sora, and when he got home he made sure to stay out of his younger brother’s way. It was so much easier with Ven, all the fighting and slinging insults, because he had never felt guilt over riling him up. Sora just looked upset and confused all the time, probably thinking about how Riku couldn’t really be doing this to him.

The right thing for Vanitas to do was to apologize or at least try to make him feel better about Riku. Unfortunately, the right thing seemed to be the last thing Vanitas was capable of too, and he gave little opportunity for Sora to seek him out in exchange.

He hadn’t really meant to come to the spot where Roxas was toying around with spray paints and murals, but he did, and shortly after Roxas himself showed up, looking perplexed to see him.

“Bored?” Roxas asked in lieu of a greeting.

Vanitas shrugged. “Sure.”

“I don’t know how it’s possible, but you’ve been home even /less/ than normal. It’s really upsetting Sora.”

He seemed to be pretty good at upsetting Sora, then. “He’ll get over it. He told you and Ven, right?”

“Of course he did.” Roxas narrowed his eyes, looking filled of spite despite being a tiny kid just shy of thirteen. “As if I needed more reasons to dislike Riku.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes. Riku was weird, and now he could add ‘complete dumbass’ to the list, but he had never understood Roxas’ ingrained dislike for him ever since they were little. 

“Vani,” Roxas said. “You’re not gonna pull a disappearing act on Ven’s graduation, right? It’s coming up soon. You’ll be there?”

He held back a sigh. He should be. Actually, he really wanted to be. But he was starting to doubt just how much he could strain Ven’s love for him, and ultimately, would he even want him there? “If I don’t have more important stuff to deal with.”

Roxas drew his eyes from the mural and to him. “You’re joking. This is like, the most important thing.”

“He’s not going anywhere for college, it’s not like this is some grand goodbye.”

“No, but he’s working really hard to graduate! A lot more than you.”

“Hey--”

“So you /gotta/ show up. I’ll drag you there!”

He could actually picture Roxas, in all his short stature and twig-like build, trying to physically drag Vanitas to the high school to watch Ven’s graduation. He snorted. “Fine.”

“Promise?”

It was little things like that that reminded him just how young Roxas was compared to him and Ven. “Sure, promise, whatever.”

Roxas gave a pleased nod and resumed a comfortable silence between them.

Promises, intentions, Vanitas wasn’t good with either. He would have liked to show up at Ven’s graduation, and the day before it he was positive that he would. He even had his fancy clothes all picked out for it.

But he couldn’t just leave Riku. In the past few months, he had never gotten a chance to see Riku with Xehanort’s group, but he had heard about the tiny, inconsequential things he was doing. The stepping stones to a life of this stuff, the same stones Vanitas had taken when he was young. Vanitas had bothered showing up earlier in the day just to hear what was going on and also because it was expected of him at this point. His grades were definitely damned.

He didn’t expect Riku to be there, or to be told to go on a more dangerous mission. Between seeing Ven’s graduation or making sure one of Sora’s closest friends didn’t get hurt, he knew there was only one option. So he shoehorned himself into Riku’s mission, all glare and glower, while secretly hoping this would end well and soon.

 

 

 

Ven stared out into the crowd of people that had gathered to see the graduation. It was too dark in the auditorium to make out any specific faces, but he knew somewhere in there was his family and Terra and Aqua. He hadn’t seen Vanitas all day, but Roxas kept telling him that he would show up. So he hoped that was true at least.

Graduation itself was nothing impressive, as he already knew from seeing Aqua and Terra graduate, but there was an undeniable thrill at being able to grab a diploma and realize that he had done it. Waking up from a coma and catching up on four lost years of schooling was tough, and for a while he didn’t think he would be able to do it. He knew he definitely wouldn’t have without the help of his friends. All that work was worth it for this one moment. Sure, he ended up being an average student, and there were no awards for him to win, but on that stage, with those papers in his hands, he felt like he was at the top of the world.

When it was over, he felt relief at being able to talk again. Ephemer and Skuld were quick to find him the crowd of students, the former pulling him into a hug.

“We did it! We’re finally done with high school,” Ephemer said. Ven had never seen him so excitable. 

Skuld stretched her arms. “My whole body aches from sitting down for so long, but it was worth it.”

Ven nodded in agreement. “We’re never gonna have to go through these halls again,” he said.

Ephemer looked behind Ven. “Oh, your family is here. We’ll leave you guys to it.” He and Skuld ushered off as Ven was promptly met with Sora slamming into his back with a hug.  
“You did it!” he said. Ven turned around so he could return the hug. He smiled at his mother and Roxas, but it was short lived when he realized Vanitas was absent from the scene.  
Roxas must have caught his disappointment because he spoke up and said, “We should get some ice cream to celebrate.”

Ven chuckled, some of his dismay fading at the offer. “Of course you’d say that. Sure, why not?”

“Why don’t you invite your friends, too?” His mother suggested, pointing to where Ephemer and Skuld stood a little ways away.

Ven beckoned them over, and despite the lingering disappointment of Vanitas not showing up, he was able to spend the night with his friends and family in a state of happiness. He wasn’t going to let the absence of Vanitas ruin that. No way.

They ate ice cream until they were sick to their stomachs and their cheeks hurt from laughter, and mostly talked about how excited they were for prom tomorrow. Ven didn’t have a date for it per se, but he had plans to show up with Ephemer and Skuld, have a good time, and end his school year on a nice night. Eventually, they headed home and the car was silent as his mother drove him and his brothers back. Sora could barely keep his eyes open the whole way, and he went straight off to bed the minute they were home along with their mother.

“You gonna go to sleep too?” Roxas asked as he stretched, changing into pajamas in their room.

“I think I’m still riding a sugar high,” Ven said. “Might sit outside for a bit.” At least he was finally out of that itchy suit he had to wear for graduation.

Roxas eyed him, knowing that he was really just going to wait for Vanitas. “Want me to join you?”

“No, it’s fine. Go to sleep, it’s late.”

He rolled his eyes. “Alright. Just don’t stay up too late, since you’re gonna be so busy tomorrow.”

Ven ruffled Roxas’ hair. “I know that. Night, Rox.”

“Night, Ven.”

The house quieted after that, and Ven sat himself on the small step outside the front door with his pajamas on, feeling the cool humidity of the night. This wasn’t a comfortable porch, but he didn’t mind the harsh step beneath him as his only chair. It gave him clear view of the stars above. 

He must have been out there for at least an hour with nothing but the steady hum of crickets and cicadas to keep him company before a shadowy figure showed up. Ven schooled his expression into blankness as Vanitas approached. He was walking sort of funny, like with a limp, and on any other day Ven might have leapt to his feet with overwhelming concern. But this wasn’t any other day, and he had long since learned that Vanitas’ actions were his own, and so he could do nothing more than pay the consequences.

“Ventus,” Vanitas said. He sounded washed out, exhausted. He didn’t /have/ to do this, Ven reminded himself before any sympathy could take over. It didn’t need to be like this.   
Ven stood up, his legs stiff from sitting for so long. “You didn’t even try, did you?”

Vanitas only leveled him with a stare. Not a proper glare, not his usual apathy. Just a plain, unreadable stare. It almost made Ven want to lose his temper.

“Fine then,” Ven said. He turned around and went inside, not holding the door or turning back to see if Vanitas was following. What, was it too much to even give an excuse? He was torn between anger and concern, between peppering him with questions of where he had been and remaining silent.

The sooner he went to bed the better then, so he wouldn’t have to deal with this. His chest felt tight as he went to sleep, and he couldn’t really fall asleep until he heard Vanitas enter the room and crawl up into his bed. 

Vanitas was, of course, the first to leave come morning.

Ven woke up feeling tired and a little achy from all the sitting around he did. Roxas was already up, blinking at him across from the room on top of his bed and sat up, leaning against the wall. Slowly, Ven got up and walked over, careful not to disturb Sora.

“Did you and Vanitas talk last night?” Roxas whispered.

Ven shook his head. “There wasn’t anything to talk about.”

“I thought... “ For a moment, Roxas looked so upset that Ven thought he might cry. “I thought he wouldn’t do that. I didn’t -- he should have been there. He promised he would.”  
“It’s fine,” Ven said, even though they both knew it wasn’t. “I have a lot more to look forward to today.”

“It isn’t fine, though,” Roxas said. “He promised.”

Sora began to stir beneath. “Hmm? What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Ven said. “Let’s get the day started, ‘kay? No use laying around in bed.”

 

 

 

Vanitas was starting to feel isolation on a level he never had before. Home was almost unbearable, knowing he would be walking in just to face the disappointment of all three of his brothers. His reason for missing Ven’s graduation was good, he /knew/ it was, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to try and explain the excuse of looking after Sora’s dumbass friend to make sure he didn’t get hurt. He couldn’t bring himself to mention how badly /he/ had been hurt in the first place, because ultimately it didn’t matter.

Ven would still hate him for this. He would still hold this against him, tell him that he didn’t have to be doing this and that he could walk away at anytime, and so he knew that saying anything would bring on fighting. He was tired of trying to justify himself. Despite all this, he still felt he was doing the right thing.

He spent as many moments out of the house as he could, even if Sora kept inviting him to hang out or stay home for at least one night, and found himself spending a lot of time alone. At the isolated spots at the beach, small, niche areas in town, the warehouse on days no one was there.

Sometimes, Lauriam or Elrena bothered him and invited him places, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about their antics anymore. It was tunnel vision now, just work as much as he could to make sure nothing happened to his family, even if they all probably hated him now.

Other times, it was Riku who talked to him. They didn’t talk about what happened the night of Ven’s graduation, how it had changed Riku’s opinion and made him realize things that seemed pretty obvious to Vanitas. Vanitas still thought he was an idiot, but he was quieter than others, and they both shared an underlying guilt over what they were doing. Luckily, Riku had mostly backed out of anything pertaining to Xehanort’s group, only showing up occasionally so it wasn’t so obvious how badly he wanted out.

Vanitas idly tapped the ground with his foot, sitting on a bench at the beach while the sun set. Riku sat next to him, looking out over the ocean and a family that was packing up their stuff to head home.

“I think,” Riku said. “That Lauriam and Elrena are up to something.”

It was odd for him to bring those two up, but he didn’t think much of it. “They’re always up to something. Who cares?”

“Hmm. What if Xehanort’s group was finally caught?”

Vanitas shrugged. The idea came to mind, and it actually rattled him because he didn’t know what he would do, or how he would be punished, but he’d never let Riku see anything more than his calm and apathy. “It’d be what everyone there deserves.” But what did that have to do with Lauriam and Elrena?

“Even you?”

“Sure.”

Riku glanced at him. “Sora would be pretty happy about that, I’m sure. Xehanort’s group disbanding, that is.”

“Doubt it’s gonna happen. But hey, if you made it happen I’m sure he’d be over the moon,” he joked dryly.

Riku went silent after that and Vanitas didn’t pay much mind to it. He hated that Riku was one of the few people left he could talk to without risking a real fight or the negativity of disappointment.

Since anger was becoming a constant state for Vanitas, there was no way he was going to drag himself to summer school like he was supposed to. He imagined his mother’s phone was going off all the time about his absence, he knew his was, but he never answered and never dreamed of so much as stepping foot on his high school campus. 

It was definitely the loneliest summer, but he didn’t really care. He was doing what he had to do, regardless if his brothers understood that or not. Still, when fall rolled around he didn’t try and go to school more, even though it would have been nice to talk to other people that weren’t so involved in his drama. Momentarily, he considered that someone like Ephemer might just be far enough outside the field of damage to have a conversation with him, but he had left for college just a few weeks prior to the start of high school.  
Sora periodically tried to talk to him in the halls now that he was a freshman in high school, always with that earnest smile, and always met in return with a cold shoulder or a push away. It was easier this way, even if it hurt.

Vanitas would have kept on long this if it hadn’t been for a day when he left class early, full expecting the house to be empty with Ven still working for Ava and his mother also at work. It was a slap in the face to see them both standing there, as if they were expecting him. He would have believed that if it wasn’t for Ven’s dumb surprised expression.

“Vanitas?” he said with a tilt of his head. “What--”

“What are you doing here?” his mother asked. “It’s the middle of the school day!”

Rather than look as ruffled as they did, he shrugged and played with the strap of his backpack. “Didn’t really feel like staying.” He was more curious why the two of them were here.

“Didn’t feel like -- are you serious?” she said, her tone flipping from concern to anger. “What, like you didn’t feel like going to summer school when you were supposed to? I know you’ve managed to avoid me this long about it! You were supposed to be going to that so you could graduate, and now you’re skipping your /senior/ year?”

He stifled a sigh. School felt so insignificant at this point that he couldn’t work up an ounce of guilt over neglecting it. Besides, he’d be eighteen in just a few short months in the heart of winter; wasn’t he old enough to be making decisions about attending school now?

“Guess I’ll just drop out,” he said. He’d always liked the idea of it. Too bad it needed parent permission.

“You can’t drop out,” Ven said, exasperated.

While he could be exasperated because he was used to this sort of talk from Vanitas, their mother was a whole other situation. Vanitas had avoided her for so long that she had no real idea what he had become and what he had gone through.

“Enough of this attitude!” their mother said. “Why is every little thing a fight with you? You really don’t want to graduate from school? All you have to do is /show up/, Vanitas!”

“Who gives a damn, it’s just high school!” he snapped back. 

“It’s your responsibility! It’s the groundwork for your life! What could possibly be more important than that?”

He wanted to say so many things, but she didn’t deserve an explanation. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from talking and instead glowered at her. He glanced at Ven who looked increasingly uncomfortable at witnessing this fight.

“Why-why can’t you just be more like Ven?” she said, frustration culminating in her voice. His blood ran cold. “It’s so easy to just do the right thing, to just do what I tell you to! There isn’t any room for debate, I’m your /mother/ and you need to listen to me for once!”

Ven held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Now h-hold on--”

“Screw you!” Vanitas said, unable to keep his silence. He couldn’t believe she had said that. Be more like Ventus? Stupidly unaware and optimistic about everything? Fuck that. He raced out the door before either of them could stop him, ignoring Ven calling his name.

/Be more like Ventus./ Of course, everything went back to him. Ventus was such an angel in her eyes, why couldn’t Vanitas just measure up? His whole body itched with frustration at the thought. He didn’t /want/ to be anything like his brother. If he was more like his brother, then he would have been idly twiddling his thumbs all this time while their mother failed to be anything close to a ‘parent.’ He would have left the fates of Sora and Roxas up to chance, up to the hope that she would return to her old self.

That had never been an option. He was never going to be like Venuts. But was that what she wanted? A perfect little replica? It was easy to be apathetic to all her opinions, to just mentally curse her out and call it a day, but his thoughts drifted to Roxas and Sora. Would that be something they wanted, too?

Even in a coma Ven had seized an iron grip on their attention. Sora had visited him nearly every day as if he was a confessional and when he woke it was easy for him to open up to Ven about his problems and seek his advice. Neither him nor Roxas sought Vanitas out for that sort of stuff. And sure, he knew he had avoided them a lot, and he wasn’t the easiest to approach, and that he had mostly done this to himself, but it made him wonder if they wanted him to be more like Ventus, too.

He was just never enough no matter what he did, wasn’t he? His throat tightened at the thought. It made him feel small and childish and he hated that, so he focused his energy on staying alert in case Ven found him. The sky was darkening with clouds already. He just hoped it wasn’t cold enough to snow. 

He stewed with his thoughts the whole day, not sure if he wanted to run back home and tell his mother everything he had been doing just so she would feel bad or if he wanted to /run./ Far, far away from this town, from a family that might not want him at all. It just angered him how he had done so much, spent so many years helping, only to be told that he should be more like the boy who had done /nothing/.

He let himself be found late into the night, knowing he couldn’t run around the small town forever. Someone would spot him, and everyone knew everyone, so it couldn’t last. The rain was freezing too, and his whole body always seemed to ache when it stormed.

Ven was using his phone as a flashlight, his hood drawn up to keep the rain out of his face, and he looked instantly relieved when he saw Vanitas merely standing under the awning of a closed up shop.

“Oh, there you are!” Ven said, relief flooding his voice. He quickly tapped away at his phone, most likely texting Roxas and Sora about finding him. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He smiled expectantly, but Vanitas only stared at him, hoping his face showed how truly tired and annoyed he was.

“Why were you two even home?” Vanitas asked, his arms crossed and one leg propped against the side of the building, letting him stand at a slouched angle.

Ven’s smile faded. “Well… I quit my job.”

“Why?”

“Motivation, I guess? With no job, I can finally start looking for one that’s going to get me somewhere.”

He narrowed his eyes. “And Mom?”

“She finally got that promotion she’s been talking about. We’re gonna be so much better off with it, it’s crazy. So you can just… you can just come home now, Vani. You can stop disappearing, I can help you fix your grades so you can graduate on time--”

“Just because she got a promotion doesn’t mean that I’m gonna put my life on halt.”

Ven recoiled. “Your /life/? Going around getting paid to get beaten up isn’t your life, Vanitas!”

The same old conversation was rearing its head their way, but for once Vanitas was glad for it. His chest was tight with anger and he wanted to release it, because, ultimately, Ventus was at the root of this all. Like some infectious plant.

“It’s more my life than sitting around in a fucking classroom like a wet sponge!”

“This is ridiculous!” Ven said. “You kept telling me how you did all this for us, for our family, and now when it’s clear you don’t have to anymore you just keep on doing it!”  
Vanitas pushed off of the wall, walking closer. “Do you really trust someone like her to maintain /any/ sort of job to keep us safe?” he yelled, inches from Ven’s face.

“She is our mother! That’s what mothers do!”

“Ours is exceptionally fucking bad at being a mother, Ventus. I’m sorry you were just never awake to witness it.”

“Oh, you keep blaming her, don’t you!” Ven’s tone was practically a sneer. “You keep avoiding that the bad things and the drama that happen to you are /because/ of you!”  
“None of this is my fault, asshole!”

“Not all of it, but lately, yeah! Yeah, I think that you make these things worse than they have to be! You could just come home, /now/, and never have to do any of that stuff again. Don’t you--” Ven paused, as if overwhelmed by emotion. “I’d forgive you! For missing the graduation, for missing it when I first woke up, for all this!”

“I don’t want your fucking forgiveness!” Vanitas snarled. That was the last thing he wanted. “I want you to shut up and quit acting like you know what’s best for me!”

“You quitting that stupid gang /is/ what’s best for you, and I’m not the only one that thinks it!” The hopeful glint in Ven’s eyes turned vicious. “You push away and disappoint the people who care about you. When are you going to realize we don’t need you like that anymore?”

Such a primal fear came out of Vanitas when he heard Ven saying that they didn’t need him anymore that, for a moment, his actions weren’t his own and his clenched fist connected harshly with Ven’s face. Ven crumpled to the ground like a paper folding, holding his now reddened cheek.

Vanitas stared down at him in horror, his knuckles stinging from the impact. Ven looked up at him with the same expression, his eyes already beginning to shine with tears.  
“Vanitas!” It was Roxas’ voice calling. Him and Sora looked like they had trudged through hell in the storm only to stumble upon a worse scene. Had they seen it from the start? Roxas looked to Ven, eyes wide. “Why did you…”

Sora looked at Vanitas, bottom lip trembling. “Vanitas…”

There was a horrible churning feeling in his gut. He hadn’t meant to. He didn’t want to hurt him, no, he never wanted to hurt anyone. The three of them looking at him was too much, and so he did what he did best. 

He ran.

He ran, despite his name being called, despite hearing Roxas try to run after him and quickly lose him as he winded through roads and forestry. He just kept running until his lungs ached and he was completely drenched and shivering.

He couldn’t go back because he hurt Ven. He couldn’t go back because they didn’t need him, despite everything he had done /for/ them. He couldn’t go back because here, in his little town, his life was ruined. He couldn’t go back because Xehanort was there, because his disappointed mother was there, because his brothers were there.

He heard a train pulling into a station nearby as he paused for breath. That train could travel for hours still and speed him across any town they would think to look for him in. He was almost eighteen, too, and he was a fighter. He could make it anywhere.

He just couldn’t go back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took soooo long to write that I kinda forgot what was in it OTL but I really liked writing Kairi and Ven talking in the beginning. Just an interesting sort of dynamic that we might actually see in future games and all that. But the real important part here is the end which has been in the making since like the second chapter. I was pretty close to making Ven and Vanitas actually, physically fight, but I was held back so yall lucky u_u Thanks for reading!


	13. Part 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter entirely from Vani's perspective featuring a familiar face!

Vanitas shivered as the train rolled out of the station. There was no one sitting in the car, luckily, so he didn’t have to worry about other people just yet. It was upsetting that the jacket he was wearing was the one he bought with Lauriam and Elrena, because it had definitely been ruined by the rain and it wasn’t doing much to keep him warm. He wished there had been time to plan this out and have more on him than just his backpack, which carried few essentials, but it was too late to go back. The train was in motion, and he had no intentions of buying a round trip ticket when he got on.

His chest only got tighter as he watched the sign of his hometown pass by in the sheet of rain. This town, his family, it was his everything. He had done it all for them, and now he was useless? Not needed? What had it all been for then? He lost so much of himself for them. Every little action led back to them and the image of keeping them happy.  
The last image he’d have of them would be those horrified looks, wouldn’t it? One punch, one slip up, must have been all it took to confirm to them that he really was a disappointment. Well, fine! He was a fuck up, he knew that. Whatever. For once, he was finally going to have the chance to do things for /him/. Wherever he went or wound up he wouldn’t be held down by those three. It would be just him.

That was a sort of independency he could get behind.

He rested his head against the window, watching flashes of light and storm whip past. Suddenly, he was so tired. Like all his energy drained right out of his bones. Tired, cold, starting to get hungry. He looked down at his hand. His knuckles were still red. It made him sick, so he shoved his hands in his pockets and closed his eyes.

When he woke he was vaguely aware that it must have been from nightmares, because his mind was foggy and he felt rattled, as if he had been running from something. The train was starting to pull to a stop, but the storm outside hadn’t let up. A tired old conductor approached him.

“This is the last stop,” he said. He looked him over, like he knew Vanitas had left home in a rush. “Got family waiting for you out there? Looks pretty bad.”

“I’ll be fine,” Vanitas grumbled, getting out of the seat. He was still wet, and his clothes were starting to feel uncomfortable.

The man frowned. What did he want? “Here,” he said, reaching for a small umbrella strapped to his waist. “Doesn’t look like you have one on you.”

Vanitas blinked, caught off guard. “I can’t--”

“Go on, now. I got other things to do, don’t dally.”

“Thanks,” Vanitas mumbled, taking it from him. “I have money--”

“Don’t bother. Have a nice night, kid.” He left him at that, disappearing into another car. 

Vanitas popped open his umbrella when he got outside, listening to the rain patter against it for a moment. The town he arrived in was a lot larger than his own, but most of the lights to the stores surrounding the station had been turned off, and the streetlights were eerie against the stormy darkness.

He walked through the empty streets, not really caring to know the name of the town. It looked a little more rich than he was used to, with oddly named cafes and high end clothing stores making up most of his walk. He glanced at his phone for the time. Only half past one in the morning. So it was still early by his standards, but running around in the rain had really exhausted him.

There was an empty playground a little ways from the station, with a treehouse that seemed to have a good enough roof. He would leave before any annoying kids could arrive, but it’d be a nice place to stop. Soon, he’d get himself into order. It couldn’t be hard to find a real place to stay at, and he had enough money left over to not worry about food for a bit.

The plastic wood was uncomfortable and cold, but at least it was dry, and he was completely hidden from outside eyes. He set his backpack under his head and curled up, hoping to fall right back asleep the way he had on the train. When he couldn’t, he looked back to his phone. Low on battery. Probably from the thousands of texts he was being sent. He set the phone face down and closed his eyes.

There was nothing to worry about out here but himself. They’d get over his disappearance eventually, the same way he’d get over losing years of his life to helping them and only getting disappointment in return.

This time when he slept, he remembered his nightmare. The distorted events of the car accident. He woke feeling the fresh grief of losing his father, something he had spent many years patting down, and the renewed disgust at himself for hurting Ven. No, he couldn’t think like that. There had been a line crossed somewhere in Ven’s words, and maybe Vanitas was justified in how he acted.

He couldn’t really think that, either. Not without getting frustrated at himself. 

Dawn had hit an hour or so ago, and the gray sky provided some light to his surroundings. It was still raining, so no kids were prancing around. A local diner was open early, so he paid for a satisfactory breakfast with coffee before doing some more walking around. He couldn’t stay in a place like this. Everything was too expensive, and for as big as the buildings were he got the impression that the community was tight knit and wouldn’t look kindly to strangers.

His phone had stopped buzzing with messages sometime into the night, and he was strangely disappointed by it. Well, whatever. He’d save more battery that way. Maybe he’d find a cheap watch to buy in a different town.

He stayed in the town for the day so he wouldn’t have to get onto a crowded train come night, and also so he could locate the nearest station since the train he took here had been its last stop. The walk there was mostly a trudge through mud and being splashed by cars cruising by on the road. The rain really wasn’t letting up despite the extremely late time, and he was glad he made it to the station by the time it started to become snowflakes.

The snow was a much prettier sight through the window, despite its danger. It also made him feel more lonely, somehow. He had never really spent too many nights away from home. He came back at odd hours, sure, but he always came back. Now, he had to deal with the cold plastic coverings of the train chairs and staying on alert all the time. None of it held the comfort of being surrounded by his brothers.

By his third night on a train he was thoroughly worn out and the snow had piled up to dangerous amounts. He was better off staying at the station and riding the train back and forth to avoid the elements than explore the towns. It’d be better come spring, but winter had just started.

He wanted to go home, but what was there to go home to? Anger? Frustration? He hadn’t meant for all this. He just wanted to keep his family safe. He was lucky the train car was empty, because he could no longer school himself into calmness and apathy.

It /hurt/. His throat was tight with emotion, and it bubbled over into tears. So much time invested into what, a grand manipulation? All this time protecting his brothers when he was just the one who kept hurting them. Ven was right -- he should have left Xehanort’s gang. But he didn’t know if he could, and that was even scarier.

Tears spilled down his face faster than he could wipe at them. He hated how useless it made him feel, how his whole body shook with emotion. But he was alone, he was /scared/, and he didn’t know what to do. He had never had a plan for anything that he did. Life just happened to him, like a car crash in a winter storm, like a stranger taking him under his wing in his hour of need.

In a way, it felt good to finally let it all out. They were silent tears that he had been holding in for so long. He wiped the rest of them away, feeling resigned to his new loneliness and decisions, and rested his head against the window, closing his eyes.

“Hello?” A voice said a few minutes later. His eyes felt puffy when he opened them. He hoped he didn’t look like he had been crying. There was a young girl standing there, gently jostling with the train. She looked around Roxas’ age. Really familiar, actually, especially her voice.

“Xion?” he said, perplexed.

Her face lit up. “I thought I recognized you, Vanitas!” She took the seat across from him. “I didn’t think I’d see anyone familiar out here.”

“Me either,” he admitted.

“I didn’t think I was skirting so close to where you guys live,” she said.

“You’re really not.” They were pretty far at this point.

“Hmm. You know, Roxas didn’t tell me that you were traveling around here.”

She was going to be a direct pipeline to his brothers, wasn’t she? He narrowed his eyes. “Touche. What are you doing here? Thought you lived too far to visit.”

“I do, I do. I have a relative that lives around here that I was visiting. I’d visit Roxas, too, if I had the time!”

“But why this late?”

“Everything’s been all delayed because of this storm. Didn’t wanna wait any longer, and I don’t know when it’s going to let up.” She looked him up and down. “You’re not really dressed for winter storms, are you?”

“I’m fine,” he said, pulling his jacket tighter around himself. 

She frowned. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s /fine/,” he stressed.

“Okay,” she said. She breathed out a sigh and looked out the window. “It really is a dramatic storm. But these kinda storms make me miss building snowmen with Roxas and Sora.”  
Vanitas had his own fond memories of doing the same. He had gotten too old for that, but if they offered now, would he say no? He missed their voices and he hated not knowing if they were okay or not right now.

“You know,” he began, because maybe he was a little desperate to talk to a familiar face. “I’m surprised you two have managed to stay friends for so long.”

She shrugged sheepishly. “It’s not always that simple. We’ve stayed friends this long because we like each other, sure, but it’s not perfect. I think we can both get a little too moody for our own good.” She picked idly at her fingernails. “Just gotta have good communication, right?”

He envied the idea of open and easy communication. Roxas had always tried that with him, hadn’t he? And all Vanitas could do in return was break promises and run away. The thought just made everything hurt more, but there was no way he was going to have a breakdown in front of Xion over it.

She relaxed further into the seat, and for a moment they both existed in a comfortable silence. Despite her smiles and friendly nature, he could tell something was burdening her shoulders, too. He chalked up his concern to knowing that if anything bad happened to her, Roxas would be devastated.

Xion watched the storm, glancing at him once in a while. “I hope the storm lets up soon,” she said softly. “It’s not very good for traveling.”

He nodded in agreement. He really had picked the worst time possible to strike out on his own, hadn’t he?

“Are you going home soon?” she asked suddenly.

Not wanting to add suspicions, he said, “Sure.”

“You’ll tell Roxas I said hello, right?”

Oh. “Yeah, of course.”

She smiled. “You know, I still feel kind of guilty about moving away. I know it wasn’t up to me, and we were really little, but I don’t think I can ever forget how upset Roxas was about it.” Vanitas recalled how reclusive he had became in the week after that, crying about how he would never get to see her or talk to her ever again. “I can’t regret moving. My family had to do what it had to do. But I really hated hurting him like that.”

Vanitas frowned, feeling the conversation hit a little too close to home. Had Roxas told her everything that was happening in their lives? She was his close friend, after all. Friends told that sort of personal drama to each other all the time.

“Was it really that hard moving?” he asked.

She looked solemn. “Yes. I’m not good at making friends, and I was scared Roxas would forget about me, so a lot of the years away have been lonely.” She rubbed her gloves hands together. “Lately, it’s become so easy to think that this is just the way I am. That I shouldn’t try harder to push myself to new horizons. I feel like I’m becoming sad over everything and nothing at the same time. Does that make sense?”

“I get it.” So that’s why she was looking so glum.

“It’s not a good mindset,” she said. She paused, looking contemplative for a moment. “Roxas would hate me for telling you this, but he’s been feeling the same way lately. He sounds really upset and… lonely? But I know that isn’t true, because he has you.”

/Had./ Roxas had him, and Vanitas let him down. Disappeared on him. His brother was hurting, something he knew all along, and he had done nothing to ease it. Even if what Vanitas was doing had been right, Roxas hadn’t deserved that sort of treatment, either. He hated the realization that any hurt he had been protecting his brothers from was dwarfed in comparison to the deep hurt he had dealt them.

The train slowed to a stop. Xion looked at the sign telling the name of the town. “That would be mine.” She got up, preparing her umbrella for the snow. “Well, it really was a nice surprise to see you, Vanitas. Sorry if I bothered you too much.”

“Just the opposite,” he admitted. 

She smiled. “Well. I hope I”ll see you again. Stay safe out there, okay? And don’t forget to tell Roxas I said hello.”

“I won’t,” he said.

She nodded, before her small form was off into the billowing storm and snow. Then, he was alone to his thoughts again.

Hearing her talk had… elevated something in him. Not so much a lightbulb going off as it was a slow, dim dawn. If all this regret and guilt sat so deeply in him, how could he carry on with a new life without coming to terms with it? And what /was/ a new life without his brothers in it? If his job was to protect them from hurt, and he caused that hurt, then it made sense he should return to mend it.

/Return./

He wasn’t sure he was ready for that. To confront them or his feelings, which he had been detached from for so long. Maybe this wasn’t something to rush into. He hadn’t even been gone a week, after all, and who knew what else he would come to understand by being on his own for once? No, he wouldn’t look home. Not until a full week had passed. Then, he could truly make a decision.

He sniffled, feeling tired all of a sudden. A sudden headache began to form in the back of his head, so he closed his eyes and focused in on the sound of the train. He was too stuck in a haze of thoughts to really sleep that night. When he woke he felt no better, but it had stopped snowing, and the temperature had risen just a bit.  
Soon, he would decide what he needed to do. He just hoped Xion wouldn’t be too upset if he didn’t manage to pass her hello on to Roxas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost done writing this fic entirely, but I'm not sure how long it will be before the next update. I'll be honest, the wrap up to the conflicts later on is kind of weak, but I was writing this to have brother bonding between Vanitas/Ven/Sora/Roxas, not to have an amazing (or even slightly coherent) plot, so I hope that's excusable! Don't be afraid to comment too, they keep writers writing after all :D


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